Highway to the Danger Zone

Highway to the Danger Zone

"Too close for missiles,
I'm switching to guns."

Other than being a cool and catchy song for a cool and catchy movie...with a well-done sequel by the way...it's a song that should ask your family a question(s).  As a family, it's important to talk about and jointly define the danger zone, the mile markers on the highway, and whether it is a footpath, highway, or interstate.  We all can and should have defined danger zones in our different facets of life.  This "living on the edge" can feel a sexy allure to it, but, unless we've done it too long, we should feel the hair on the back of our neck telling us to back up.  

In the buckets of life (Zig's Wheel) we can define where the danger zone is and hopefully the hints or indicators along the way that give us a sign of impending doom.  From a financial perspective, the danger zone is marked by bankruptcy and financial strife.  A few of the mile markers might be arguments with your spouse, inability to pay the credit card every month, and so forth.  From a fidelity standpoint, the danger zone may look like an affair and the hints might include thinking about that old flame, looking them up on Facebook, or otherwise letting your mind and heart stray to start with.  The point is, you can, and should, sit down and outline the danger zones in your life.  You'll be more tempted or susceptible to some than others which gives you a leg up on what to avoid.  

Once in a while, the
danger zone requires
a nap...or three.

In the wildland environment, we define the "danger zone" dynamically as we move through the environment - everything from snag trees, box canyons, changes in fuel, and such.  We go so far as to have a standardized set of "10 and 18" watch-out situations to help us recognize and avoid danger zones.  Furthermore, we've got an orderly way to respond to and operate in the danger zone with LCES or Lookouts, Communications, Escape Routes, and Safety Zones.  In family life, this could mean accountability partners looking out for us (bridesmaid/best man/brother's keeper), intentional communication with your spouse, escape triggers to get you out of a situation before you're in too deep emotionally and adrenaline has taken over, and safety zones like the sanctity of the home.  

Understanding the danger
zone as a team is huge.

In the fire service and hazardous materials (HAZMAT) worlds, we categorize a scene into the hot, warm, and cold zones.  This is generally a squishy set of concentric circles around a hazard based on wind, terrain, and such.  The "danger zone" is largely synonymous with the hot zone and only trained, equipped operators go into that zone with pre-set-up communications and safety measures (e.g. rapid intervention team (RIT) to come get you out).  In the warm zone is where we likely have evacuated folks and decontamination.  From a family perspective, do you decon yourself when you leave the danger zone?  Dump the toxic stress from work on the way home?  Shut off the Facebook?  Ditch the cell phone?  In the cold zone, we've got the command post, EMS, and the "rest of the world."  

If you have a shark hat...you don't
"need no stinkin' helmets."

Pastor Andy Stanley defined some of this concept as "guard rails" (link below) where he talks about the idea of guard rails on highways to protect us from ourselves.  Much like seatbelts and bike helmets, guard rails allow us to mitigate risk, or in other words, continue to do the unsafe thing, but more safely.  Comedian Jerry Seinfeld has a whole bit on helmets in this vein.  Once we've identified our family danger zones, we can more readily identify or put in place the guard rails or safety features that help ensure we don't end up with a catastrophic outcome.  In a recent article, it talked about pornography exposure and young folks.  Guard rails could include parental controls, proactive conversations, avoiding "friend" situations that are unsupervised, and screen rules (inspection, common areas of the home, etc).  Like any danger zone, the guard rails and safety features should work in concert with our own risk management muscles to lower our exposure to hazardous, negative outcomes.   

It's always critical to have a 
great wingman!

All in all, family life is the most important thing we can do.  Certainly, we have to do things like work to provide for our family and have a social life, but all of that should come back to our Biblical calls to action of worship and family.  To that point, identifying the "danger zones" in your life, in conjunction with your spouse, can help ensure that you don't go sailing off the edge of the world without knowing it.  Like many things in life, giving power to words, defining the parameters, and measuring help us to manage those risky things.  As we've talked about before, we seldom take one tiny misstep or stumble that ends in crisis.  Rather, we often find ourselves at the bottom of a slippery slope, looking up at the cascading series of otherwise insignificant actions, that together have resulted in weighty consequences on our shoulders.  So...go enjoy the song, watch the movie...and have a proactive conversation with your loved ones about the "danger zones" in your life.  

With you in the arena, from ours to yours...Happy Trails!

Call to Action: 

• Pick out three danger zones and the first-mile marker or two that you can identify and change course if you're heading towards trouble.  
• 1 - ___________________ 
• 2 - ___________________
• 3 - ___________________
• Talk to "your person" as an accountability partner - ask them if they see any danger zones that you don't.
• Have a conversation with your spouse...what are the danger zones...what are the guard rails...what are the LCES that you're most concerned about.  
• Discussion: Consider what you/your family could/would/should (level of commitment) and start/stop/sustain (action)

Further Reading, Motivation, and References:

- Highway to the Danger Zone - Kenny Loggins

- Andy Stanley - Guardrails