Not every team needs Rock Stars...

Not Every Team Needs Rock Stars...

Team matters.  When I worked at a non-profit I think I inadvertently sabotaged some of that mentality

If you can play like 
"Animal" the drummer,
do that.

as a leader.  I routinely complimented good effort and stand-out performance, labeling the actor as a "rock star."  Several years into this habit, one volunteer shrugged off the compliment, with a "Nah, I'm more of a solid bassist.  The team needs me to be that."  (Lighter Note: in the moment, it didn't sound like "bassist" and I was taken aback a sweet, amazing old lady who embodied "love your neighbor" would call herself that).  That was an eye-opening moment for me, not only in my "work life" but more broadly.  I'd been unintentionally creating a comparison among "rock stars" and subtly sending a message of what excellence was...in reality, the team wouldn't function effectively without the whole, diverse team.  

I intuitively knew not every rock band is full of lead singers, nor every baseball team full of second basemen, or a football team only made up of quarterbacks.  That sort of metaphor would be chaotic in terms of operations as well as ego/team dynamics.  What had been intended as an "atta-boy/atta-girl" style comment, made me realize I was off base.  In the philosophy of "we get what we incentivize," I was probably incentivizing the wrong things at work and at home.  The wake-up call moment and change of paradigm had profound effects.  

Good music, like
most things is a 
team sport.

Moving forward, it took a little more effort but paid dividends, to consciously recognize those around me for their unique contributions to the team..."our vehicle fleet would be grounded without your diligence in helping our maintenance stay tip-top" as an example.  Much like our military special forces have many soldiers in support roles behind the scenes for each "operator" in the field, our lives have a wide cast of characters and each needs to play their instrumental parts for the success of the team.  

I'd challenge you to pay more attention in your circles to the unique gifts and contributions people are making.  To make it more meaningful, keep a little notebook or note going on your phone or something where you can "catch people doing good" and jot it down, especially if you're a leader in your circles.  The outgrowth of this diligence and focused commentary was a win in our circles.  There was a marked difference when gone were the days of "you're a rockstar," "you're a rockstar," and "you too, you're a rockstar" much like an Oprah show.  Replaced were more intentional, specific feedback that made a difference.  In calling out individual, unique contributions it opened much of the team's eyes to their peers, build redundant resiliency through cross-training, and ultimately made our team more successful.  

Whether you're at home, on the field, in the office, or whatever other arena you're in, consider paying attention more closely to those around you and how you can recognize them more meaningfully.  By keeping notes along the way we can avoid the faux pas I made when I recognized a "superstar" volunteer who'd gone above and beyond in front of her peers with a  coffee store gift card and custom mug...only to be told a little later that she didn't drink coffee.  By paying attention (which, by the way, is really the recognition that is powerful), we can show how much we care about our team translated into our words and actions.  

Fair warning: tether
ball with toddlers
quickly escalates to 
a full-contact sport.

At home, the hollow, proforma complements that we sometimes feel obligated to give can be upgraded as well.  Instead of the "you look nice tonight," try "I really like how those earrings bring out your eyes."  Instead of "thanks for dinner" which often feels obligatory, try out "I really appreciate how you go out of your way to plan healthy meals that we enjoy so much."  With your kids, toss out, "good game, champ" and replace it with "I really liked how you hung in there and we really saw the effort come out in that particular play.  I'm proud of your character."  These customized, specific comments get past the polite platitudes that we're obliged to give and get to the level of the gift we're capable of giving - our attention and actual appreciation.  

In fairness, so do most 
other things with little 
boys...full-contact
sport that is.  

We don't need 11 QBs - we need a team of folks leaning into a common goal.  By building a team of unique, diversified, and complementary skills we can tackle amazing things.  As a leader, our job is to outline the tactical goals (get a first down), in support of strategic outcomes (score a touchdown), that build toward the objective (winning the game), and ultimately fulfill the mission (winning the Super Bowl).  Done long enough and with consistency and we make the vision a reality (legacy of a powerhouse team).  

To do so over time, at home or at work, we need to build the team and be the part of the team that the team needs.  As you're working on yourself and your team/family, consider building out complementary skills like a Green Beret team.  Everyone is a utility infielder, jack of all trades, Leatherman tool instead of a pocket knife, sort of player first, then a specialist second.  In the Marine Corps philosophy, "every Marine a rifleman", you've got to be a football player first, in our analogy, and a Left Tackle second.  At home, you've got to be a husband/wife first and a ______ after that.  Instead of a "be a rockstar" reshape your thought process toward "I'm going to give a rockstar-level performance right now, this minute."  You owe it to your loved ones and those around you in your circles to bring your A-game...in your lane.  

With you in the arena, from ours to yours...Happy Trails!

Call to Action: 

• What are three roles that you are committed to at the rock star level?  
• 1 - ___________________ 
• 2 - ___________________
• 3 - ___________________
• What other roles, based on your priorities and bandwidth, become "good enough is...good enough?"  You can only be a rock star so much, make sure you're hitting the home runs where they actually matter in the long run.  
• Pick three people in your circle and write down three genuine, meaningful compliments you're going to give to them this week.  Observe how it makes them feel.  
• Discussion: Consider what you/your family could/would/should (level of commitment) and start/stop/sustain (action)

Further Reading, Motivation, and References:

- Nickelback Rockstar (PG13) - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_1hgVcNzvzY&pp=ygUIcm9ja3N0YXI%3D 

- NFL What Goes into Preparing an NFL Stadium for Game Day?- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TDC7xOyAWzc&pp=ygU3d2hhdCBpdCB0YWtlcyBiZWhpbmQgdGhlIHNjZW5lcyB0byBwdWxsIG9mZiBhbiBuZmwgZ2FtZQ%3D%3D (hint, it's more than just the QB).