It's all OODA, baby...

It's all OODA, baby...

Dogfighting needs OODA
especially when Batman
is on the other team.

Observe, Orient, Decide, Act - what fighter pilot guru Col John Boyd put together was the OODA loop.  His theory stated that the faster a fighter pilot could get through the "OODA Loop" cycle, or at least faster than his dogfighting opponent, the more likely he was to return to base at the end of the day without involving a parachute as a means of transportation within the journey.  Whether or not we know or recognize it, we "OODA Loop" countless times every day, many automatically and without conscious thought.  Take driving for example, in a microsecond after a car cuts us off in traffic, we observe it starting to come into our lane, orient (in time and space) if it will hit us, make a decision, and act by hitting the brakes or swerving.  

Messes are part of life...so
is our response to them.

In family life, we can take the OODA Loop concept into a more thoughtful and active (vs reactive) base and apply it to our spouse and kids.  I'm guilty, like most of us are, of split-second replies or reactions that I might regret when the emotion of the situation fades.  I'm getting better, through practice and intentionality of "thinking" through the OODA loop in those tense moments.  Take, for example, the other day, one of the kids spilled a glass of milk on the floor.  The initial reaction is to turn it into an emergency and loudly react, likely shaming the kid for an accident.  If, instead, we condition ourselves to take a breath, observe the problem (spilled milk), orient with context (it's no big deal), decide to encourage them to be independent with cleaning up, and act (ask if they need help cleaning up), we turn a minor inconvenience into a teaching moment.  

Other scholars and practitioners over the years have put various spins on OODA or intentionality within "crisis" situations.  Some have quantified the "faster than the enemy" OODA loop process through the study of reactionary gaps.  The old "slap my hand" game where one person holds their hand out above the other person and sees who is faster is a quick study in the action-reaction curve.  Almost categorically, action beats reaction every time.  We can condition ourselves to shorten our reactionary gap through intentional study and practice.  A Navy SEAL or Green Beret is going to respond more rapidly than a street cop in a city, who will, in turn, respond more quickly than you or I to a random act of violence or a bad guy.  

It's serious when
a firefighter's 
bellybutton pops
out.

In recent years, some of this study has been summed up in the Recognition Primed Decision Making (RPDM) that has been applied to first responders and military members.  Gordon Graham does a great job explaining this phenomenon to a group of firefighters.  Essentially, RPDM states that when you encounter a new situation, your brain scans the "slide deck" of previous experiences, looks for a match that it can apply (the Orient of OODA), makes tweaks to the model, and helps you find a solution.  It can obviously do this more quickly when you've got a wide set of slides to choose from or when the pressure is low (high frequency and low risk).  We get into trouble when we venture into unknown territory...that is dangerous (low frequency and high risk).  We compound our potential to make bad decisions when we don't have much time to "think it through" (discretionary time).  

Applying RPDM to family, hopefully, you don't have much in your proverbial slide deck related to divorce, untimely death, cancer, bankruptcy, or any of those items...that's the goal anyway.  The downside of your charmed life is that you likely don't have many of the warning signs that give you "time to think it through" and often fall into the low-frequency, high-risk buckets if or when they do occur in your life.  We can, however through intentional training (reading books, watching videos, attending seminars, proactive/preventative therapy, etc.) build our slide deck of warning signs.  We can also "rip off and replicate" checklists or plans for when those bad things hit so that our slide deck has been rehearsed so to speak...or when we can rely on the tool and not have to even look to our mental slide deck.  

Protecting your castle and 
those most important is 
a high calling.  
Take it seriously.

Take, for example, an untimely death situation.  They happen all too frequently and all too fast.  You or your loved one heads out for groceries, misses the stop sign, and that's that.  It happens.  Most people, especially young people with young children haven't thought through the myriad of decisions that have to be made ahead of time or in the moment.  Overcome by grief and emotion, the chances of missing a dotted-I or crossed-T that has costly, long-term ramifications is high.  Not only is our slide deck empty (no similar past experiences), but our ability to clearly work through the OODA loop(s) is also diminished by our tragedy.  If, instead, you had talked about what to do in the eventuality of that crisis and can more objectively work through the steps on a paper is huge.  

Have a plan for
stormy weather.

As you depart this post, consider times in your family life when you can "take a breath and OODA" more intentionally instead of more emotionally.  Also, take a minute to think about what would fall into your "high-risk, low-frequency, no discretionary time" situations as a family and how you can get in front of those...before you're neck deep in them.  We hope that your family arena is never visited with a crisis where you have to RPDM and OODA...but if or when the "gray sky day" pushes into your beautiful blue sky life, you'll hopefully have a few more tools to more gracefully and efficiently rise to the occasion.  

With you in the arena, from ours to yours...Happy Trails!

Call to Action: 

• Pick out three hazards that you need to consider, then download/create/copy-paste/etc a checklist or other resource into a shared location (e.g. untimely death plan and getting paperwork/insurance in order).  
• 1 - ___________________ 
• 2 - ___________________
• 3 - ___________________
• Practice one of your peril-situations through a "table top exercise" where you talk through the situation, ramifications, and necessary next steps - write those down, visit the document and conversation annually.  
• Discussion: Consider what you/your family could/would/should (level of commitment) and start/stop/sustain (action) regarding your family and, let's say, untimely death preparation.  

Further Reading, Motivation, and References:

- RPDM with Gordon Graham

- Chanel Reynolds Get Your Shit Together