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| The team is key. |
As it were, not all goals are created equal. We can have goals that vary in terms of commitment, level of resources, length of time, and so forth. As we continue our series on goals, consider thinking about a wedding cake or pyramid shape for your goals. Which ones empower and enable others? Which ones nest within or spin off others down the road? As we start defining the different tiers or hierarchies, hopefully, you will see some parallels in the principles that apply to your own situation and life.
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Use the path only where it
makes sense. |
At some level, perhaps the foundational level of goal setting is the aspirational, "mission, vision, values" statements that we see in corporate agencies...but also have a place at home. At some level, the "who we want to be," "what we do," and "how we do it" are goal-like in their ability to shape and organize our actions. Generally, this sort of strategic statement helps us unify as a team and speak to the long-term vision, not necessarily a season of life or a sprint session, although you could set, say, a mission statement for your parenting efforts. The Jim Collins
Built to Last book introduced the BHAG or Big, Hairy, Audacious Goal framework that tells us we should have some of the just-out-of-reach stretch goals. Our mission shouldn't be, as a family, "have a pulse," or "survive until the kids are out of school." We should dare to endeavor greatly...what could your family look like if we're using the BHAG framework? Dream and think BIG!
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Find a long-range vantage
point. |
Coming out of our mission/vision/values, we often see the breakdown into the next level of "big rocks" being a strategic plan. These tend to be "goal-like" statements that cast a vision for unifying efforts across a 3-5 year period or season. They tend to stay out of the weeds level details and focus on the end zone or season-end targets. For a family, some of those temporal landmarks or easily divisible seasons might include high school, college age, first job, dating/engagement, newly married, infant children, pre-K, elementary school, junior high...and the cycle repeats while you head off to retirement, nursing home age, legacy. Our strategic plan may tackle a period of time that helps us see the horizon and what's at the edge. For high school students, it may include things like extracurriculars, hobbies, lifestyle habits, building block skills, and so forth that set the stage for the next chapter of life to go more smoothly.
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| Bring the team dog. |
As we bump along, getting more granular, we can start with the specific objectives, strategies, and tactics that move us from big rocks to smaller gravel in life. As we get increasingly small (think sand), we begin to flush out things like to-do lists, tasks, calendars, meetings, schedules, budgets, and so forth. Each one of those is, at some level, a goal. Assigning dollars in a budget is moving us closer to...or further away...from our desired end states and stated goals. With many of our resources, there is a very real opportunity cost (a dollar or hour spent here cannot be spent there). Tying our most finite efforts back to our most lofty ideals helps ensure continuity and avoid wasted effort.
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See above the trees and
noise. |
Keep in mind that some of our goals should be short-term, mid-term, or long-term focused. The blend is necessary to make progress without getting overwhelmed, but also to help keep the train on the tracks for the whole journey and not get distracted down "rabbit trails" incessantly. When you think about some of the goals that could and should transcend seasons of life, like marriage or parenting goals, it's important to write (and edit) them in a way that allows action throughout the seasons. For example, we should have an overarching parenting goal that shapes and guides our daily and seasonal interactions. We should also have some smaller "milestone" type goals that allow us to do the right actions right now, along the way. Periodically, it's important to ensure that we're still on the right glideslope to land the proverbial plane on time, at the right airport...that staying the course comes from the blend of short, mid, and long-term goal planning.
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Ride the sled
when you need. |
Lastly, it's also important to say it...the goals have to be right-sized or in the right life bucket priority in your family. For example, the goal of "Become the youngest CEO" might be great and all...but the unspoken commitment cost or sacrifice for many is "...by working a ton of hours and losing my family." As you set out the big and small goals in your life, it must be a transparent and shared experience with your loved ones. We have a family friend right now who is talking about moving across the country for the next three years for a job... even though his wife and kids are firmly entrenched here and want no part of it. Sometimes we have to do what we have to do...but more often we should rewind up our goal hierarchy to see why we're contemplating it...and how else we could get the same outcome in a better way.
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Ride the momentum
down the hill when
you can. |
As we wrap this week, hopefully, you've got a few ideas to guide some next steps, help you rethink the "how" in goal setting, and move you and yours closer to the big, beautiful, best life possible. Remember, thinking through goals is a continuous improvement process and should be relative to the opportunity cost/sacrifice necessary, as well as spread across the different buckets of your life, to keep an appropriate balance. Best of luck as you think through what "right looks like" for you and your family...and use the new wisdom to make traction.
With you in the arena, from ours to yours...Happy Trails!
Call to Action:
- Pick out one part of your life that you're going to write a strategic/longer-term goal for, and then break it down with a few milestones. As you do this more, it'll become second nature with practice.
- 1 - ___________________
- 2 - ___________________
- 3 - ___________________
- Discussion: Consider what you/your family could/would/should (level of commitment) and start/stop/sustain (action) in terms of family meetings to talk through this and work on it.
Further Reading, Motivation, and References:
- BHAG from Investopedia
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