Stop the Bleeding Process

Stop the Bleeding Process

In the first responder world, we talk about the importance of stopping the bleeding process.  Similarly, we talk about the first step of stopping the burning process for someone who has been burned (e.g. put the fire out, flush/brush the chemical off, etc).  In an emergency, we first try to do those things to help manage the crisis situation at hand.  Essentially, when we try to stop the problem from getting worse, we minimize the consequences and begin to get out of the crazy cycle.  In our lives, we can take a parallel page from the playbook and apply it to our personal and family lives.  Whether in a personal circumstance or emergency situation, we can often get distracted and we miss the critical because of the clutter.  

You might need a backup to find the drain.

When something is going wrong...stop the bleeding process...as a mantra, this orients our thought process, priorities, and decision-making.  If the bathtub is overflowing, don't grab a mop, go for the spigot.  When you find your life diving into the crazy cycle where clutter becomes confusing or overwhelming, you have to figure out what "stop the bleeding process" means in the situation.  Let's say your family is struggling with finances, you just end up with more month-than-money most months.  By diving into the bleeding process, in this case, spending, we can start the recovery process.  In this case, it means budgeting if you're not, finding, and plugging the leaks.  Once you get some stability, some margin from the crazy, you can then work on building or shoring up your system more broadly.  

When you find yourself in arguments at home, consider digging into the root cause so that you're

Sometimes you've got to search for 
just the right spot.

not just addressing the symptoms (e.g. blood all over the place) but attacking the actual problem (e.g. the hole that needs to be plugged).  Understanding the general causes of arguments broadly and your specific situation specifically helps you begin to get at the problem.  In this example, as we dig below the surface and ask introspective questions, we can ascertain if we're arguing because of stress...which is brought on by work-life balance...which is brought on by lack of job satisfaction...which is brought on by the "wrong job."  Understanding where the "bleeding hole" is allows us to target our intervention.  In this case, instead of trying to fix the stress, perhaps we find a new job and let the stress evaporate.  

Firefighters don't 
need shoes...just 
training...and 
backward pants.

For many of us, we find that the schedule becomes ridiculous in seasons of life.  When you find your family in this situation, you need to figure out how to target the root causes.  In this case, taking an inventory (meaningful conversation around the upcoming month's calendar) of what we have scheduled.  Doing a careful analysis from there can allow us to figure out "why" we're doing a particular activity, then make solid, prioritized decisions as to what stays and what goes.  

Whatever flavor of crazy cycle you find yourself in, work to determine the actual problem...then apply action there.  Realize that in most cases, your crazy cycle won't disappear overnight...you can't necessarily go cold-turkey quit on some of your scheduled commitments...but you can work your way out of them in time.  Also, realize you likely won't get out of the crazy cycle with the same thinking that got you into the situation.  You also likely won't be able to stop the bleeding process without some sacrifice.  In trauma medicine, we talk about "sacrificing the limb to save the life" as it applies to tourniquets.  In your world, perhaps it means sacrificing the daily coffee habit to save a dignified retirement.  It may mean giving up the "status" or "ego" of being that mom to be the mom to the only kids that matter (yours).  

Certainly, like all other facets of life, prevention (don't get to bleeding in the first place) is a Plan A.  Having the skills and wherewithal to understand that you're in a bleeding situation and how to fix it is a critical Plan B...because, you know, life happens.  

With you in the arena, from ours to yours...Happy Trails!

Call to Action: 

• Think about three ways that you could see "bleeding" happening in your life (money, marriage, parenting, etc)
• 1 - ___________________ 
• 2 - ___________________
• 3 - ___________________
• Have a plan for how you will "know if you're bleeding" in each of those three areas.  Are you on the same place with your whole family on what constitutes "bleeding?"  
• For each of those three, consider several courses of action to quickly and efficiently stop the bleeding process.  
• Discussion: Consider what you/your family could/would/should (level of commitment) and start/stop/sustain (action)

Further Reading, Motivation, and References:

- Stop the Bleed Class from Prep Medic - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WGLLXy3AsBQ&pp=ygUOc3RvcCB0aGUgYmxlZWQ%3D 

- Crazy Cycle from Love & Respect - https://www.loveandrespect.com/blog/the-crazy-cycle-why-we-negatively-react