Are you an echo?

Are You an Echo?

Oxford Dictionary defines "echo" as "a close parallel or repetition of an idea, feeling, style, or event."  In today's day and age, it seems like we're more prone to become an "echo" of something or someone else.  At some point, this phenomenon has probably always been alive and well to varying degrees.  For most of the modern era, much like the inspirational quote for this website, timid souls have likely become a mirror image of others around them.  A sort of averaged-out version of the same kind of people from around the country.  Forever, generations have had to honestly and retrospectively ask themselves, "Am I an echo?"  "Am I doing life as an echo?"  Like many of our discussions, this isn't an absolute call to action against being an echo...there's some efficiency in the ruts and routines of life.  

Sometimes it's more obvious than
others in our lives.  

Like many of our discussions, it is very much a call to action for you to examine your life and how you're living it.  If you go through that examination and come out in the same spot...congratulations to you.  If, instead like many of us, you go through the examination with changes you're committed to making...double congratulations to you on your honesty and deep-dive internal look.  When we talk about echoes, we really have two choices - be the "real thing" or "be an echo."  Just because you fall into or choose to be an echo of something isn't inherently bad or wrong...you just need to be aware you're doing it intentionally. 

Historically, most of the echoes that we become have been "local," or in other words folks in our immediate interaction.  These ties, in many ways, helped form communities and bonds that strengthened the fabric of our nation.  Increasingly with the advent of modern screen-style media, our echoes now become those of distant, unconnected fantasy images.  Pay attention to the places you do life and see how people dress, talk, do life, and chances are, you'll pick up on the echoes.  You can spot the echoes in large part through the interactions and conversations that rhyme.  For example, many people today are an echo of the constant "keeping up with the Jones" consumer-driven focus that has become a huge part of the first world.  You can see it in the overleveraged homes, cars, clothes, and lifestyle that they put on.  In many cases, that lifestyle isn't "theirs" but the adoption of something that others "demand" as payment into social circles.  

Recently I read an article regarding letters back home to sweethearts from wars years ago to wars today.  The salient point was the downfall of the beautifully crafted, descriptive language of yesteryear to vulgar soundbites over time.  Perhaps a classic example is the letter from Civil War Marjo Sullivan Ballou, when you listen to his words, it's hard to picture those not being anything but original and sincere.  Contrast that now to text conversations dumbed down to emojis and vulgar song lyrics.  I'm not the pot-calling-the-kettle-black here, I've been guilty of singing along to Tom Petty's Freefall and Tenacious D as we prepped to jump out of a military airplane.  

Are you a shadow...or 
the real thing?

The point here is, we lose our genuine, honest, and sincere selves and step backward into a shadow or silhouette of something else instead of ourselves.  In a personal example, as a volunteer firefighter in a very Alpha-male, caveman-style fire department, social credit (street cred) was given for who could play the game the best...who could be the best echo of a knuckle dragger.  For many of us, in those young and impressionable years, we landed to varying degrees in chasing to be the king of the cavemen.  The juxtaposition of diving neck deep into video games, booze, chew (tobacco), off-color jokes, a variety of intimate partners, and the like made you part of the in-crowd.  On the other side of the street were those who focused on personal and professional development in those same volunteer hours sitting around the table between calls.  Being an echo of the group was the easy choice in the moment, fun even.  Fast forward and extrapolate out the consequences of "living independently" down the road and it pains me to see some of those friends (dare I say brothers) who have been through divorces, bankruptcies, stuck in a young "man's" job with an old "man's" body today, split custody with kids, and such.  

One more personal story that perhaps can serve as a bit of inspiration.  When we first got married and started into the kid years, everyone...I mean everyone...in our circle told us how we'd better enjoy our created life of travel/novel experiences because it would evaporate with kids.  It would've been easy to fall into that echo chamber and give in to the easy temptations that surrounded us.  Fast forward six years later so far and we've created a lifestyle that is still very rich with novel experiences.  We've got a large wall map above our kitchen table crisscrossed with black marker lines of road trips that represent memories of doing life on our own terms.  By being original instead of a shadow, I can tell you, in this respect, it matters.  This lifestyle has certainly had opportunity costs, it's had speedbumps, hurdles, and exit ramps...but it's amazing.  Find your own "your terms" way to do life and then get out of your own way.  

Especially if that trail 
heads to Halloween 
candy and you're a
racing speed, crawling
Superman!

The above examples ramble a bit, but hopefully, you see the points there.  Your words, choices, deeds, and actions matter...they compound over time.  If you choose to be an echo, go forth, but know that those choices (or "non-intervention" selected as a strategy - choosing not to choose, is a choice) come at an opportunity cost.  A couple of us certainly missed out on the "inside jokes" and beer nights but finished degrees, started businesses, and other items.  Again, not a better-or-worse value judgment broadly, but a moment for you to consider if what you're doing/how you're living is carrying you closer or further away from your desired end state.  

To sum it up with a  quote from Ralph Waldo Emerson, "Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail."  Go make your own way in this world.  Lay out the desired end states, use some backward planning, and go live the life that you create.  Too often, we get stuck in the echo/shadows of others' expectations or realities and spout excuses on why we can't do what we want.  Lay those aside for a minute, poke holes in the excuses, chart out a course, and just start being original and you'll be surprised at how fast you start to find smoothness in your new path.  Do it long enough, loud enough, and you might find yourself inspiring others to be an echo of your path.  

With you in the arena, from ours to yours...Happy Trails!

Call to Action: 

• What are three ways that you're living a copy-paste life from someone else, not intentionally living your life, the real and honest, best self, your life? 
• 1 - ___________________ 
• 2 - ___________________
• 3 - ___________________
• What are some dreams that require a trail to move forward?  Brainstorm with your family on what it'd take to go down those trails.
• Discussion: Consider what you/your family could/would/should (level of commitment) and start/stop/sustain (action)

Further Reading, Motivation, and References:

- Don't Be An Echo - Todd White - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cqsplY1pdE4

- “Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.” Ralph Waldo Emerson