Rocks & Roles

Rocks & Roles

Build the foundation on stone
for your intentional life.

The big rocks, or as Steven Covey put it, "keep the main thing, the main thing" is a critical reminder in our ever-increasingly busy and distracted lives.  As you're looking at what are the right next steps in your journey, or what are the big rocks, it's important to actually label/name those rocks.  For most of us, the old Zig Ziglar buckets that we've talked a lot about are probably sufficient categories.  But...in spelling this out...in making it personal and real for you, let's get specific.  I'm a Christian who tries to follow the teachings of Jesus.  I'm a husband to a wonderful wife.  I'm a dad to two super kids.  I'm an employee for a government entity.  I'm a volunteer.  I'm an aspiring or at least hobbyist author.  I've got a lot of roles...they're not all rocks and they're not all created equal.  

Have a grand vision
from your stone start.

Generally speaking, we don't have to compare or "rank" our rocks until they intersect.  In other words, if your rocks are rolling along in parallel, no worries, it's when they merge into the other lanes that we need to have a prioritized order to keep each one right-sized relative to the others.  In a previous season of life, my "work" rock was zig-zagging all over my wife's calendar, our family priorities, and generally causing trouble.  It took some introspection, concentration, and commitment to help us understand where we should be and how to get there.  

Sometimes
you just 
have to take 
the leap.

When we're in sync and balance between our big rocks or the roles in our lives, everything can be groovy like Rock and Roll.  When it's out of balance and thumping down the highway of life like a hoopty...not so much.  You've probably had seasons of time when you've been going around in the crazy cycle like an out-of-balance washing machine with a sleeping bag.  Hopefully, you generally have the system running more smoothly and you're taking intentional, proactive, deliberate time to have the conversations to ensure that you and yours are all on the same page.  

There may be a 
patter here.

We work better when we have roles - the guitarist not playing the drums...the left tackle not chunking the ball, the teacher not taking a nap with her students.  We've left behind some of our tribal-style divisions of labor.  In the name of avoiding gender roles, we've put our whole families into trying to fulfill every role...which is not only exhausting but likely impossible.  We end up telling us that we each need our own income, car, job, career, bedroom, TV, cell phone, etc.  This isn't a plea to any traditional pattern of roles...but the idea that you create a division of labor in your home to try to help spread the weight and share the wealth.  These don't have to be permanent, but at least proactive and intentional.  If one of you hates doing dishes, but the other doesn't mind...guess what...that one gets assigned to them.  Roles help keep us grounded, balanced, and a productive part of any successful team.  

Climbing up is key
to any role.

Another part of big rocks and roles may be summed up with the analogy of brickmakers and brickmaker bosses.  We often tend to promote based on competence at a skill...not necessarily leadership aptitude or interest.  When we get promoted in our career, church, volunteer passion, or whatever else, we've got to get good at getting smart fast.  Sort of like getting a puppy, getting married, or having kids, the paradigm shift and having to "get smart fast" is an important skill.  When new roles emerge in our lives, we've got to have some practice on how to quickly get up to speed and lead.  This also applies to new seasons of life when we are transitioning from say toddler parent to preschool parent or teenager parent.  The birds-and-the-bees talk has to be ready to go when that new role (ours and our children's new roles) emerges.  

With you in the arena, from ours to yours...Happy Trails!

Call to Action: 

• Pick out a role in your life that you feel is out of balance (too big or too small) and pick out three action items to right size it this month.   
• 1 - ___________________ 
• 2 - ___________________
• 3 - ___________________
• Discussion: Consider what you/your family could/would/should (level of commitment) and start/stop/sustain (action) regarding putting your first things first and making your big rocks prioritized.  

Further Reading, Motivation, and References:

- Gary Allen - Right Where I Need to Be

- Meir Kay - Mayonaise Jar