Crazy Like Us

Crazy Like Us

Rappelling off the roof
may be crazy to some,
to us, screen babysitting
for sure is.

There's a certain reality that hit us the other day - we're all crazy.  Perhaps different flavors, degrees, or dysfunctions, but at a certain level, we're all a little crazy.  Part of this recognition came from some post-family visit drives where the conversation started, "Your parents are crazy," then, "Well, so are your parents."  In unpacking that a bit, it became clear that we're all crazy in our own little ways whether we recognize or admit it or not.  This isn't an indictment that "crazy is bad" necessarily, but a call for asking the introspective question of "How are we crazy?" and the follow-up questions, "Is it a bad thing?" or "Do we want to change anything?  

In spending some intentional time thinking about this whole topic, a few things became clear.  Crazy might be in the eye of the beholder.  It may also be defined as "anything we're not doing."  In our example, we've followed Dave Ramsey and his financial teachings...and it works.  Therefore, at some level, those who are more subscribed to the more mainstream finance seem "crazy" to us.  We also work on items that prepare our family for future activities that may be on the horizon...for us, "non-preppers" become a little crazy for not being ready for future uncertainties.  Don't travel and expose your kids to lots of novel experiences - we'd probably brand you crazy.  

Driving across the country 
for a donut, likely crazy...
but probably worth it.

On the flip side, if you're a person who has a zillion-dollar mortgage, car payments, and who gets take-out every night on the way home...you probably think we're crazy.  For you, for us, for all of us...crazy is okay as long as we're good with it...and it doesn't impact others around us.  When crazy becomes dysfunctional is when it drives a wedge between you and those in your circle...even then, sometimes it's worth creating separation for your immediate family's health from other breeds of crazy in your circle.  Also, it's not great if your flavor of crazy is eating people...that's objectively nuts and you should avoid doing that.  

Letting a kid run a 
chainsaw - solo=crazy.  
Teaching=competent
adult down the road.

Part of what spurred this whole line of thought was a series of people saying some variation of "I didn't think life would turn out this way," including our 4-year-old about his homeschool schedule.  The discrepancy between our expectations or norms and our comparison is where we start to label something as crazy.  Often, this comparison is a 1-to-1 value judgment of "they are crazy, not me."  Other times, we are painting with a broader brush against a societal norm in comparison (e.g., the prevalence of credit cards in spite of the 20% interest charge).  There's also the very wider environment of doom scrolling and social media algorithms where we can dive down the rabbit hole and come to believe the entire world is inherently nuts and we're soaked in divisive content to make us scared and angry.  

Giving up the comforts
of home to cook a
weenie - not crazy.

No matter what "scale" of crazy you're comparing yourself to, any of them often create a wedge, an us-vs-them mentality, and don't help us in building community.  When we view ourselves as solely sane compared to those around us, we tend to become insular and self-righteous.  In the words of Garth Brooks, Going Against the Grain, it's sometimes important to be outside the herd, perhaps more so now than ever before as society seems to be going off the rails in so many ways like Babylon of ancient times.  It's also important to put aside some of our differences and seek a middle ground to build communities and tribes as well.  In a recent church example, two leaders got into it over some minor differences, each feeling the other was "crazy" and it resulted in dividing a church into two camps, and ultimately two churches...both pointing fingers at the other side.  The forest was missed for the trees...both leaders let "they're crazy" in a few tiny ways overshadow the, "we're all in this for praising God" mission statement.  

Riding a bull=crazy.
Riding a friend's 
horse=cool. 

Lastly, we got to thinking about how "crazy" can be a temporary state.  As Dr. Emerson Eggerich put it, we can get into a "crazy cycle", doing the kick-the-dog stuff with our loved ones.  Similar to the above, it's important to ask "Are we/Am I crazy?" and "What am I going to do about it?"  One way to address this may be to carry a post-it note and fill it up every day with reasons you're thankful for your spouse and family when home feels like a zoo.  When you look for and seek the wonderful things in your life, you'll notice them more often and cultivate them.  It's also important if you're in a crazy season (toddler, sleep training, potty training, new job, moving to a new city, etc.) that you give each other grace, over-communicate, and be patient.  

All of this to say, crazy happens.  It surrounds us.  It is us.  We need to realize we're probably crazy and unpack how/why we're crazy.  It's important to make intentional changes if we don't like what we're seeing or becoming.  Go do life in the ways that get you closer to your desired outcomes and end states...even if others brand you crazy...it's a good thing.  Just be sure you're conscious and intentional in your crazy.  

With you in the arena, from ours to yours...Happy Trails!

Call to Action: 

• Do a "crazy audit" where you sit down with yourself, your spouse, and your immediate family and ask the questions - "how are we crazy?"  Write down your answers and then ask the follow-up questions.  List out three reasons you're family is "crazy."  
• 1 - ___________________ 
• 2 - ___________________
• 3 - ___________________
• Follow up that conversation with a "now what/what's next" conversation and some concrete action steps or doubling down on those chosen actions, even if they feel crazy to others (e.g. paying off your mortgage early).  
• Discussion: Consider what you/your family could/would/should (level of commitment) and start/stop/sustain (action) in regards to "crazy" comparisons to others, society, or seasons.  

Further Reading, Motivation, and References:

- Dr. Emerson Eggerich's - Crazy Cycle