Tradewinds

Tradewinds

Study the wind.

Dr. Seuss wrote a book, Oh, the Places You'll Go, and this week it seems like there is a parallel that is worth talking about.  There are times in life when we're sailing with the prevailing winds at our back.  Those times when it seems like in spite of us, everything is just working out in our favor.  Hopefully you've set you and your family up for a lifestyle that is mostly full of this type of "luck."  By adding and investing in margin continuously - calendar, budget, etc.- you can be here more often than not.  The secret of this time is to recognize, appreciate, and celebrate that you're in the "good old days" while you're still in them.  

Study the birds who
use the wind.

Other times we've got a headwind...sometimes it's more than a headwind and matures into an all-out hurricane-style storm.  These are the times when seemingly no matter what we do...we just can't run fast enough.  We can't catch our breath, and it feels like we've got a mountain in front of us that is unending.  It can feel like no matter what you do...you're losing and can't get ahead.  When we're in one of these on-the-ropes seasons, it's important to refocus on the priorities.  Oftentimes in this season, it's a call for a "slow down to go fast" approach where you look to cut things until you have enough margin to see clearly.  In disaster response, we call it a tactical pause where we seek to gain clarity before initiative.  

Practice harnessing 
the wind.

There are times that no matter what we do...big things don't go our way.  Loved ones pass away untimely.  People get sick.  Homes are impacted by disaster.  Jobs are lost.  These tradewinds can feel like they're an all-out gale in your face that knocks you down.  The important part is to take time to grieve and process...but then stand back up.  That can be easier said than done, but it's a critical part.  We've known people in our circle who have had all of those things happen...including us.  Knowing "the rest of the story," as Paul Harvey used to put it...everyone in the circle around those circumstances has figured out how to carry on.  Many are finding happiness and a new normal down the road with a little time in and space removed from the original situation.  In other words, their trade winds changed...in large part...because they figured out how to overcome and adjust the sails.  

Learn about
volatility. 

We've all been in both places, and obviously it feels nicer to be in the first.  That said, some of the struggle times are what make us capable of great things.  The old adage about the mighty oak only grows strong in the storms is true.  In that sense, we're capable of far more strength and resilience than we think we are.  Good news: we can also grow our resilience muscles and capacity through intentionally setting high goals and striving through struggle.  We can even create artificial struggle that helps us build our abilities - sports, learning new things, physical toil, exercise, and many other ways.  We can prepare ourselves to sail more smoothly...ironically...by sailing more roughly on purpose in small things.  

Get good at using
the wind in your favor.

Other times we're in the doldrums where there is no wind in our sails.  This might be that quintessential "mid-life crisis" that is always talked about where we're stuck in the ruts and routines and daily life can be summed up as "sameness."  This isn't all bad if you've got a good set of routines and ruts that provide margin while also filling your soul with contentment.  We've talked about "bedazzle your basic life" before.  We've also talked a lot about injecting novelty when, where, and how it makes sense for your family.  The important part here isn't to get so frustrated with the doldrums that you bring dynamite or gasoline to the party.  Too often we see the "damn the torpedos" approach that results in the consequence-giving new car, house, spouse, etc.  

Enjoy the wind...even
the headwinds.

The old adage, "the only constant is change," is an important thing to keep in mind here.  In wildland fire, we're constantly monitoring wind and weather shifts due to the potential for extreme fire behavior or "blow-ups," as they're sometimes called.  In your life, when you sense a windshift coming- an annual physical and your health numbers are slipping; you and your spouse growing apart; a sudden cold front on the annual performance review at work - double down and pay attention.  Seldom do the catastrophic changes fall on you like an out-of-the-blue piano from a Wile E. Coyote cartoon.  Most of the time they come with some level, albeit sometimes subtle, warning signs.  Our call here is to take notice of those onset indicators...and take action.  Double down on date nights with your spouse, lean in with your kids on their interests, take a family road trip, volunteer for that project at work.  

Teach others.

These tradewinds can be seasonal.  Retirees talk about three distinct bucket stages of "go go years," "slow go years," and "no go years."  There are other times throughout your life where everything goes in your favor and others where you just can't catch a break.  The secret here is largely to "bank up" the good times' momentum and feelings, and draw upon those when things aren't going well.  And, when they're not going well, reflect and remember the good times to give you hope for the good times still ahead.  It's easy to forget the rearview mirror when you're fixated on the windshield and vice versa.  Neither one has to be indicative of what's ahead...that's a daily decision that only you can make.  

Sit back and
enjoy!

As we wrap up, it's important to remember that skilled sailors learn to sail with the wind...no matter what it's doing or not.  It's also important to remember that you've got a hand in the driver's seat, and with modern technology and know-how...you can always apply the EMT's favorite treatment: "aggressive diesel therapy."  In other words, you can get yourself out of a particularly bad tradewind season by applying steering, initiative, and horsepower.  You're not a powerless victim of your own circumstances.  Don't like something...change it.  Also, cherish the good moments where everything is going right, appreciate the good old days...while you're in them, and be ready for those moments or months where it's not all sunshine and rainbows.  Happy sailing to you!

With you in the arena, from ours to yours...Happy Trails!

Call to Action: 

• Pick out a few reflections on wind seasons in your past.  Now pick out three lessons learned that will help you and your family when the next wind shift happens.  
• 1 - ___________________ 
• 2 - ___________________
• 3 - ___________________
• Discussion: Consider what you/your family could/would/should (level of commitment) and start/stop/sustain (action) in terms of "weather monitoring" in your personal life.  How about with your spouse?  Kids?  Family at large?

Further Reading, Motivation, and References:

- Fresh Starts

Time Travel

Time Travel

Say "yes" to new festivals.

We bent the space-time continuum this weekend...and...dirty little secret...we do so often.  Recently we went out on a guys' weekend camping trip.  We were gone less than 24 hours, but from the time we saw the moose near the interstate to the time we pulled back in the driveway the next day...truly felt like we'd been gone on an expedition for a month.  The secret that you can employ to warp time is simply novel experiences injected into your otherwise routine life.  Like much of what we talk about...moderation is key...but novelty is necessary.  As we've said and borrowed from The Money Guys, "bedazzle your ordinary life."  

Go visit old 
places.

We've talked about the fear of robbing the joy from later by doing so much with our kids now (cue the tiny violin).  But...the cool part...much like the zen "you can never step in the same river twice" mantra, you're a different person now, and the place you're visiting/novel thing you're doing is different later.  I'm shocked at what our kids (and us) do and don't remember about major events a year or two removed from the novelty.  Us and our kids could go back and visit Yellowstone National Park, New York City, or anything in between this year, next year, and next decade and see something new every time.  The novelty can come in when we see it through new eyes, look up the "off the beaten path" sites, or simply build in meander time.  We've been to Florida probably ten times, and while they all blend together, each trip had unique highlights and memorable memories.  

Let your imagination 
run wild.

And...another trade secret here...our world is gigantic, and you'll never hit all the novel things.  Last year we went to the Albuquerque Balloon Festival...and it was spectacular.  Perhaps not as bigger-than-life as the first time we went...but amazing.  This is a reminder to not let "comparison be the thief of joy."  You can choose to enjoy and revel in novelty or routine...do that.  Anyhow, talking with a police officer on detail from Santa Fe, he recommended coming back to Zozobra. So, a year later, we did.  It's an interesting cultural festival with incredible lights, pyrotechnics, music, dancing, and community flair.  It was novel...and again, that three-day weekend felt like three weeks.  The point here is...there is some version of a "Zozobra" community/regional festival going on in just about every town just about every year.  You won't run out.  

See yourself in 
new ways.

It's also important to remember that those time-bending experiences are what we'll tell our kids and grandkids about.  I doubt we'll be reminiscing about the good old days in thirty years and talk about the football game we watched on TV or the video game we played.  I do think we'll probably talk about...and hopefully go back to visit...the cave fort that we built in the forest 30 minutes from our home that one guy's weekend.  Again, don't mishear...the example we're talking about cost us a few bucks in canned food, a pack of pork chops (with lemon pepper), 60 minutes of round-trip gas, and 24 hours over a normal weekend.  This doesn't have to be expensive...just intentional.  

See theater.

I get it, time doesn't actually change.  I (and you) were only gone from the office for the same 48 hours between Friday and Monday...but...depending on how you chose to invest it...it'll run together or stand out in memory.  We're fortunate to live in a place where we can get out into nature fairly easily.  Don't mishear...we're not on the moon...we're at the confluence of two major interstates, in a capital city, 2 hours from one of the busiest airports on the planet.  I say that to say this...no matter where you live...novel is next door...you just have to look for it.  That said, we've talked to folks from around the country, big towns to small...and I've been floored by how many people say "there's nothing to do around here."  Time and again, when we ask...a ton of people say, "I've never heard of that" of some major (albeit some off the beaten path) attraction that is literally within a half an hour of the house they've lived in for years.  I'd suspect most of those families could, however, tell you who won the last season of the mainstream reality TV show.  

Try out a new museum.  

We talk about how life went so much slower when we were younger and how it's flying now.  Talk to an "old" person, and they'll tell you how much faster it's going every passing year.  I think, and research bears it out in part, that the reason it seems to be going so much faster each batch of 365 days is that we don't have so much novelty.  When we're young, everything is novel, and we're learning everything.  In earnest, what was the last new thing you learned as an adult?  I'll wait...chances are...you'll struggle since we're "out of school and done learning."  Don't subscribe to that mantra...read a book, travel, explore, build a new skill, get out in nature...adventure is all around us.  

Learn about people different than you.

Before we close, it's important to remind all of us that boredom is a good thing...don't steal the benefits by injecting too much novelty.  If we get rid of all routine and all tradition in order to have 24/7 novelty... like all good things...too much is still too much.  As we all seek to find our balance, it's important that you find what works for you...and your kids...and the adults your kids will become.  The novel experiences that you embark on this year and next and the one after that become the person that you'll be next.  

Visit a zoo.

As we depart for the week, remember, you don't have to have all the time or money in the world to make this work.  You just have to be intentional about putting in the time you have in order to make it happen.  Take a minute to look at the festivals in the region and the off-the-beaten-path nature spaces that you haven't visited.  Create the memories that you'll look back on and cherish forever.  

With you in the arena, from ours to yours...Happy Trails!

Call to Action: 

• Pick out three things you can do this week that are novel - new food, play at a new park, you pick.
• 1 - ___________________ 
• 2 - ___________________
• 3 - ___________________
• Discussion: Consider what you/your family could/would/should (level of commitment) and start/stop/sustain (action) in terms of injecting novelty into your coming year.

Further Reading, Motivation, and References:

- Travel Bug Tonic on Novelty

- The Science of Novelty

Home

 Home

Build it.

Last week we talked about "Adventure being out there," or implying not here...not at home.  This week we wanted to talk about the importance of home in terms of the pre-req for the out-there adventure.  There can be a lot of physical and metaphorical definitions of home.  For today's purposes, we'll liken it to a "home base" or logistical fortification secure from the outside world.  David Brooks put it, “All of life is a series of daring explorations from a secure base.”  When we think of "home" as our enabling location to live our very best and big life, it takes on a connotation necessary for our conversation.  

Play it.

In breaking this apart a bit, it's a calling to ensure that as a protector and provider, your home is an adequate (don't hear extravagant) place to feel secure and become ready.  I think it's also important to point out that we can define adventure in this context as "big, full, rich life," however you and your family define it.  For example, we had a summer of playgrounds where we deliberately hit all the playgrounds in our surrounding region and sought out any playgrounds to visit while we were traveling.  That summer wasn't climbing Everest or scaling the Eiffel Tower, but in the several hundred playgrounds we visited, we made a ton of memories and our kids developed a ton of physical and social skills.  Cost...essentially free.  Time...would've gone by anyway.  

Hug it.

Now that we have some of the "adventure" paradigm down, what do we require of home to be ready to make a big, rich, full life from our homes?  In part, we need a set of loving people who meet us where we are at and are always there for us.  Hopefully that's a low bar in your home and an easy checkbox.  We also need a large enough physical structure that is secure.  Don't hear "mansion" here.  We've met some incredible adventure case study folks who make plenty due with a small apartment.  One of the champions in this space lives in a pretty modest home.  We've seen other mansion-level people who get so wrapped around the appearance of success they never go out and be successful in adventure...as a measure of a rich life.  

Travel it.

Adventure, as we're defining it, can require some stuff.  And all of that stuff is on a continuum.  The Fight Club mantra of "what you own ends up owning you" is very true.  The joke that the two best days in a boat owner's life are when they buy it and when they sell it rings true as well.  Using water as an example, we've got a new-to-us canoe for $100 bucks that we've had a lot of enjoyment with.  We also feel guilty if we haven't "used it enough" in a given summer.  On the flip side, we've had equal amounts of fun memories on rent-a-canoe-type things during our travels... probably also a couple hundred bucks all in over all these years.  Compare this to our neighbor in their home just up the street who just got a new "real" boat, as he put it...with a low, low payment of $550/month for 150 months (that's the national average, by the way).  Does his home/family get that much more value as compared to ours?  That's to say nothing of his annual maintenance, storage, upkeep, insurance, bigger truck, and gadgets that go into the whole cost.  

Swim it.

Another aspect of home is enough margin to be able to think and plan far enough in advance to actually do the adventure.  This executive functioning is a byproduct of enough time/space/money around the edges as well as a practiced skill.  In a home that is calendar or budget maxxed, it's awfully hard to get the bandwidth to get out the door.  The cool part is...those are choices, and we can minimize our expenditures of time and money to re-dedicate those investments into whatever you want them to be.  It won't happen overnight, and it may take a moment to extricate yourself from the status quo river you've fallen into.  

Do it at night.

Nationally, the "indoor kid" epidemic with screen time is causing many, many issues.  Long-term conservationists worry that without kids who love nature, we won't have adults who love nature enough to protect it.  Similarly, if we don't have kids and adults who prioritize adventure enough to partake in it, we won't be able to turn on that switch when the time comes.  In other words, nature and adventures are an acquired taste.  We have to pour in our time and commitment routinely enough that our enjoyment of those things becomes habitually second nature.  I just had a friend lamenting that at his house, his kids won't go fishing with him or anything...newsflash...he was the same dad who had no time for his kids when they were little because they were an "annoying distraction" from his adventure passions.  

Walk it. 
Just do it.

As we wrap up this week, hopefully this one makes you think.  However, you define adventure (read: rich, full, big life), and however you define home in terms of a pre-req, hopefully it gets you connecting dots in order ot do the things at home that enable and empower you to do the things outside the home - fill your life with travel, nature, new experiences, you name it.  You owe it to yourself, your family, and your future selves to look back with a big set of memories.  And, while you're at it, remember now that doing so doesn't have to be expensive or overly time-consuming...it just has to be routine and proactive.  Enjoy!

With you in the arena, from ours to yours...Happy Trails!

Call to Action: 

• Pick out three adventures you're going to do in the next month...and three things that you'll do around the home to make it happen.  
• 1 - ___________________ 
• 2 - ___________________
• 3 - ___________________
• Discussion: Consider what you/your family could/would/should (level of commitment) and start/stop/sustain (action) in terms of making changes to your calendar and budget to make adventure possible.  

Further Reading, Motivation, and References:

- Importance of Home in Nature

Beyond the Mirror

 Beyond the Mirror

Sometimes we get stuck in our mirror...the self-reflection in a vacuum at arm's length.  When we're only looking that far in front of us, it's easy to lose context.  It's easy to get ourselves into our own version of a pity party.  Just in the last couple of weeks, we had a person in our circle who got remarried, another hired for a position, and had a friend change houses.  The point here is that, in each of those cases, the person had come to an unbearable, scorched-earth-only position where anything had to be better than their current reality.  The other side of that coin...the part they often didn't see "beyond the mirror" was that in each situation, they had people lining up to be in line to replace the thing they couldn't stand.  

In the marriage case, the person that the other person couldn't stand to be with was back in a relationship fairly quickly.  For friends who couldn't stand the person they'd made vows and life with after ten years in, in many cases people find another someone to share life with.  We can trick ourselves that the world is better just around the bend or that the grass is greener across the street.  As we've talked, it's often more true that the grass is greener where we water and cultivate it.  When we look beyond the victim mentality in our mirror and take ownership of our parts of the solution and systems for success...we stop blaming our troubles on our spouse.  That's probably the first step in moving forward. 

In the position example, we were hiring for two positions, and we had close to 200 fairly qualified people lining up for a job that the outgoing person couldn't stand.  Several of the candidates were very, very overqualified but had left their previous positions because they couldn't stand them.  News flash, chances are, they wouldn't be able to stand ours within a few months either.  The old "be the best ____ that you can be" rings true.  I think the most contented work folks I've been around have been the ones with enough passion and initiative to be competent professionals, but balanced with the "enough" attitude that they're not constantly onto bigger and better.  

Lastly, in the house/car/stuff upgrade categories...leaving behind an "awful" house to you is likely going to be the new dream home to someone else.  We have a family that we've done life beside for the past decade or so.  We both had kids about the same time, bought houses about the same time, and so forth.  In that decade, we've remodeled our home while adding a fort, playhouse, tree house, trampoline, etc in the backyard - mostly through repurposing construction cast-offs from around town.  Over the same decade, they're on their fourth trade-up house.  We were talking the other day about finances, and while they've upgraded their house...they've also drastically upgraded their mortgage along the way, leaving little margin for travel or other fun items.  

Across the board on these "mirror-level" issues where we lose context or miss the forest for the trees, it's often a level of contentedness that is the right answer and connected/shared expectations.  The remarried person is happy (again, for now), but lots of heartache on the way through.  A person who left our organization recently said, "Wow, I made a mistake; I wish I could come back."  The upgrader in houses and cars realized they'd only paid interest to the bank the way amortization is set up...while others have paid off their house and have the peace that comes with it.  The point is, when we're in mirror range, it's easy to lose sight of the big picture.  We have to zoom out sometimes to see just how good we have it.  

As we wrap up this week, before you make some drastic change...zoom out a little bit to get some context and appreciation for where your baseline is at right now.  Take stock of the alternative outcomes and unintended consequences when you view a major decision, not in a silo or vacuum, but when viewed across time, space, and impacts to your broader life situation.  Hopefully, you can use a combination of l% improvements to fine-tune your masterpiece statute instead of bringing the chainsaw or nuclear weapon option out of the arsenal straight away.  

With you in the arena, from ours to yours...Happy Trails!

Call to Action: 

• Pick out one bucket of life this week and come up with three small tweak changes that you'll implement in order to reduce your stress or anxiety...so that you stop thinking about the nuclear option.
• 1 - ___________________ 
• 2 - ___________________
• 3 - ___________________
• Discussion: Consider what you/your family could/would/should (level of commitment) and start/stop/sustain (action) in terms of committing as a family to making small change course corrections to live your best life.  

Further Reading, Motivation, and References:

- Small tweaks are not negative...

Safety-fied

Safety-fied

Wear a hair net, 
but learn to cook.

There is a scene in the epic Lonesome Dove where the two main protagonists are lamenting their contributions in taming the West.  As they reflect on civilization coming to the wild, they realize or admit that running out all the danger might not have been a great idea in hindsight.  In today's day and age, we've only hammered on the proverbial safety pedal.  When we prioritize safety over all other things, we lose our ability to build our risk management muscles because we've engineered the real danger out of so many things.  In other words, we do things differently when we have a soft landing or "out" available to us.  At some level, it's great, a wonderful thing, that things like childhood mortality have gone down.  Period.  But, in getting through small risks successfully (or adding a few bumps and learning), we build our ability to be able to navigate large risks.  

Go see the old
school.

In our modern world, things like seat belts, helmets, and lifejackets have obviously been good inventions for our children and ourselves.  That said, when was the last time you saw some kid doing an epic bike jump, riding in the back of a pickup truck, or doing some crazy swimming thing?  I'm not advocating that we lose our safety gear.  I am advocating that we leverage it to do the things that give us scars and stories.  Couple this safety-above-all attitude with the pervasiveness of electronics (particularly gaming), and our young people are in for it.  Growing up, any "armor" for kids was quite literally bubble wrap.  Now, you can get some pretty snazzy-looking pads for every part of your body...to enable you to do cool things.   

Practice dangerous
things.

On the flip side, for better or worse, some safety items make us behave differently, more riskily and sometimes beyond our capabilities. In wildland firefighting, several major countries do not have their firefighters carry fireshelters (the "tinfoil" tent that protects you from a burnover incident).  Their rationale is that you'll do less "dumb" things or overly aggressive things if you think you have a magic blanket on your belt to bail you out of the consequences.  Similarly, a pilot with a parachute is enabled to fly differently than one without.  In some contexts, that overly aggressive enabling is a positive thing; in others it reinforces our "exit ramp" attitude as a first course of action conundrum.  

Work on new 
skills.

Translating this a bit back to our homes, the same principles apply where we put things like bankruptcy and divorce in the "plan A" bucket if something doesn't go well.  This excuses our due diligence, preparation, and commitment because "we've got an out."  When we take our "til death do us part" vows, we're saying the words out loud, but are we internalizing and truly committing to the activities necessary to make the promise?  Are we also committing to putting our spouse's needs, wants, and desires above our own?  Are we committed to being all in?  All the time?  Would we do things differently before and during marriage if the alternative to divorce was truly death?  Cut up the contract and shuffle off the mortal coil?  

Shoes may be 
a good idea.

In the family finance category, is our behavior changed when we count the cost?  If we take away the so-called safety nets of bankruptcy, social security, etc, would we behave differently?  Would we still buy the bigger house, fancier car, and nicer stuff along the way?  Or, would we, like the generations before us, put necessity before niceties?  For our grandparents and beyond that, if you made poor financial decisions...you lived with it.  The consequences were natural and severe.  Instead of a swipe now, pay later, they had to save first, which often required much more scrutiny and consideration before parting with their dollars.  

Go see hail...
bring a helmet. 

Overall, the ability for us to have an "easy out" has contributed to our dumber decisions and softer abilities.  The good news is...you don't have to.  We can have our cake and eat it too when it comes to the best of yesteryear with the safety features available today.  Just because you likely won't get scalped, eaten by a bear, or die of dysentery...doesn't mean you can't still go do amazing outdoor adventures.  Just because you have an AC-filled house with endless entertainment online... doesn't mean you can't go lay out under the stars or have a picnic with your loved ones.  Just because you can delegate your travel to a safe airline...doesn't mean you shouldn't pack up the car and go on a road trip.  And, just because you could tell your boss to take this job and shove it...or your spouse...doesn't mean you should.  

Have a safety 
rope when it is
necessary.

As we wrap up, use the back half of the year to leverage safety...without changing behavior.  Wear the seatbelt without jumping the car.  Put on the bike helmet...but still jump the bike.  Take an informed risk on a new business adventure...but save up ahead of time.  All in all, we're in a great time in life to leverage the lessons that aren't so far gone from our ancestors...if we're willing to listen to them and incorporate them.  All in all, use the best parts that are available from yesterday, today, and tomorrow to live the big, beautiful, best life that you've been called to...and wear a helmet when it makes sense.  

With you in the arena, from ours to yours...Happy Trails!

Call to Action: 

• Pick out a few things that you need to change this week that help you reset your safety equipment...ones that make sense (helmets and seatbelts) and others that don't (divorce).  Double down where it matters.  
• 1 - ___________________ 
• 2 - ___________________
• 3 - ___________________
• Discussion: Consider what you/your family could/would/should (level of commitment) and start/stop/sustain (action) in terms of making the right decisions for the safety, sanity, and sanctity of your family.  

Further Reading, Motivation, and References:

- Safety Third with Mike Rowe

Aviate, Navigate, Communicate

Aviate, Navigate, Communicate

It starts with talking.

Aviate, Navigate, Communicate - those are the things to do in an aircraft emergency.  When it all comes right down to it, having clarity of purpose and focus is critical.  Instead of a hundred or a dozen things to try to pay attention to, the little saying helps center the efforts of the pilot and aircrew.  On a normal day, there are so many things that go into making a flight a success.  Just like in life, we've got dozens of things that our families do in order to be successful - go to work, get kids to activities, attend church, you name it.  When your family goes into crisis mode, much like a pilot, you need to focus on the basics to get through it.  

Then with practice.

For the air crew, the basics of "fly the plane" seem silly to say out loud, but there have been cases where the crew gets so distracted with instruments, checklists, etc that they forget the basics of flying the plane.  Sometimes, maybe oftentimes, we overcomplicate our systems that hold our lives together.  Similarly, when you look at the Wright Flyer and today's modern aircraft...they're obviously more complicated.  In preparing for a crisis that may befall our families, it's important to figure out and be ready for the key basics that are necessary or parallel to aviate/navigate/communicate.  In our family, it may look like "stop, think, pray."  

Reinforce it so it's
second nature.

The idea is to be as proactive as possible instead of reactionary.  If you're faced with a medical emergency, financial setback, or violent encounter...there is a moment of response...for sure.  But, getting to a thoughtful response as quickly as possible is critical.  It's easy to be a pinball machine when you're reacting in reaction to a stimulus that's negative.  It's important to slow down enough to get your priorities back in line and start making decisions that "stop the bleed" and then start providing long-term solutions.  That's obviously easier said than done in the moment.  It's easier done as well when we've been thoughtful leading into whatever emergency you're facing.  

Keep it top of mind.

Similarly, pilots are trained to "fly as far into the crash as possible."  In other words, stay in control.  We can borrow these philosophies for our family emergencies that pop up.  Letting go of the proverbial wheel or going radio silent are not good ways to "survive" or thrive in a disaster.  It's easy when faced with a large trauma to turtle up in our shell or stick our head under the ground like an ostrich.  When we talk about "fly as far into the crash as possible," it means that we sit in the driver's seat and take steps to be a proactive and positive participant in our own rescue/recovery.  

Go over it occasionally
in small moments.

From the pilot perspective, instead of just letting go of the "wheel" and hoping it works out, they're trained to "glide" as best as possible by still doing the things flyers do.  In our family life, let's say a medical emergency hits.  You still need to, as best as possible in the new normal, do the things parents and spouses do - get up, get dressed, get kids fed, do laundry, etc.  These small actions keep the proverbial wheels on the bus...in spite of the chaos around ourselves.  This isn't to say that you shouldn't go to the hospital with a loved one since you need to unload the dishwasher.  It is to say that we can double down and make the most or worst of a bad situation.  A downturn can become a catastrophe...if we let it.  

It can be reassuring...
that you've got this, 
even on the worst days.

As we wrap up here this week, remember that calamity and crisis do strike... every day somewhere to someone...hopefully not you and not today.  No pilot comes to work in the morning with the plan to "auger one into the ground," and no family should wake up in the morning with the plan to sink their family ship.  The point here is...with some proactive, intentional thought ahead of time, we can hopefully avoid the worst of the bad days when they do come to visit.  Just like an aircrew who trains on emergency procedures ahead of time, you should have systems in place to help be a safety net - e.g., insurance.  You should also have some go-to actions thought out to quickly and efficiently make the best of the bad day...your family is counting on you to not clam up.  

With you in the arena, from ours to yours...Happy Trails!

Call to Action: 

• Pick out a few things that are core to your family that will allow you to switch from reaction to action in a crisis. Have a few go-to's that you've thought through and communicated with each other.  
• 1 - ___________________ 
• 2 - ___________________
• 3 - ___________________
• Discussion: Consider what you/your family could/would/should (level of commitment) and start/stop/sustain (action) in terms of a bad day action plan.  

Further Reading, Motivation, and References:

- FAA Rules for Pilots

Aphelion

Aphelion

Go build a fort 
in a tree.

According to the NYT, July 2 at noon, we reached the exact middle of 2026, 182.5 days on either side, or aphelion.  We're halfway through 2026.  Are you halfway to your goals so far?  Are you halfway through your budget?  It's a good time as America turns 250 years old to check in on your goals with your family to see if you're on pace and on track to meet the things you said you'd get accomplished this year.  We're far enough along that you should have most of your systems figured out.  We're far enough along that you've got momentum...for better or worse.  And, great news...we're not so far enough along that your fate is sealed for the year, you've got time to make a course correction.

Do a 5k, with 
a guy in a 
wagon.

The softer skill goals are ones you can always work on, but things like walks with your family, outdoor time, or books read.  Whatever you said you'd get done six months ago, it's time to check in now and then re-evaluate if you have changes you would/could/should make.  Hopefully, you wrote down some goals that lead you toward the person you say you want to be when you grow up, back at the beginning of the year.  Are you closer to or further away from that person?  There's no time like the present to turn things around if you're not liking the "man in the mirror."  Are there things that you can work on in the dimensions of your life that will make it "your best life?"  We'll talk about a few broad categories and some probing questions to get you thinking.  

Go for a walk in the woods
with a bb gun and a box of 
magnets. 

In terms of fitness, go get your annual physical if you haven't.  Same with teeth cleaned and eyes checked.  It's also a good time to get your blood chemistry checked to look at things like cholesterol or blood pressure that may be indicative of problems that will only get worse unchecked.  In the same vein, take a set of measurements and step on a scale.  If you're not tickled at where the pants size is going...use the nice summer weather to add some healthy hobbies to your schedule.  Similarly, open the freezer or pantry and take a peek.  If it's mostly processed stuff from the middle aisles of the grocery store, maybe a time to take advantage of the fresh fruits and veggies down at the Farmer's Market.  

Test your helmet 
in a hail storm.

From a finance perspective, do a bit of an audit.  You've got enough data from the first half of the year that you can determine if you're going to end the end of the year in a good spot.  Look at your goal accounts - savings, checking, investing.  Do you have any markers that you said you'd reach...are you halfway?  More/less?  Again, you can have the runway ahead of you to make some changes that put a few more bucks in the bank that can multiply when wisely invested for a few decades.  Look at your debt - is it getting smaller so far this year in spite of inflation and higher prices?  That'd be good.  Take your first six months of budget data and talk about any outliers (e.g., big purchases done or upcoming), then do some forecasting through the end of the year based on the first half of the year.  Is it promising?  Do you need to tweak some things?  

Go play a little baseball.

In terms of marriage and parenting, take advantage of the more lax summer schedule where you can stay up a little later, and the weather is a little more conducive.  Eat around the table...in the backyard.  Go see some stars.  Have a campfire.  Go on a hike.  Get in the habit of family walks or bike rides.  Check in with your loved ones to see how they think you're doing and where you can change for the better...and vice versa (ps - check the ego at the door for this conversation).  When was the last time you all did a board game?  Played a bit of catch?  Built something?  Just talked with your spouse?  Went on a date night?  Life gets busy, I get it, but when we take time and intention to "calendar our priorities" as opposed to prioritizing our calendar, we make sure the right things are on the books, not just more efficient things.  

Hit the water.

Think about where you're at with your job/career.  These first six months have been a fast-forward button held down in terms of AI adoption.  Are you embracing it?  Learning from it?  Augmenting your current skills and experience to make your job or your performance at your job more efficient?  Effective?  Are there metrics that you're behind on or can get ahead on as we cross into Q3?  Are there any special projects that you want to take on or ones that you've done that you want to be sure your boss knows about and appreciates?  Any opportunities for some extra freelance work coming up that can move your goals?  Any additional learning that will better prepare you for your current role?  Any consideration to other roles that you've had an eye on for a while?  

Be in the front
row for fireworks.

Before we depart, it's worth noting that where you and your family are winning...take time to celebrate.  The first six months have been crazy politically, internationally, and in our pocketbooks in the big economy.  Here's a chance to reflect on what's been going right.  Here's a chance to stop and count your blessings, then thank God for where you're at right now.  Recently, we've been hiring for a new position at work.  The job that is posted will be a good job, but not out of this world.  We've got stellar candidates who are desperate to uproot their lives to come take the job.  That should be a reminder to you to appreciate what you do have.  And a double down to make the "grass greener where you water it."  This applies to your work, home, neighborhood, and everywhere in between.  Stand on your blessings and make the world a little better for those around you than you found it as you go into the next season of life.  

Pump up your tires, 
put on your helmet,  
get ready for a 
great ride ahead!

As we cross through another set of six months, the world may be crazy around us at a macro level.  Hopefully, at your family level, you're heading into a rewarding, restful, and peaceful six months ahead.  But...that sort of depends on your decisions right now.  Count aphelion as "day one" of the rest of the year.  Cast off any baggage that's held you back from that best life so far this year.  That may mean saying yes to some new healthy habits.  It may mean saying no to some of the things that are good things...but just one too many good things.  Here's your chance to really lay down your priorities with this temporal landmark to anchor to in order to make a course correction or change moving forward.  Double whammy benefit that you've got more daylight hours and nice weather days to help you get the motivation to move the needle.  All of that to say, good luck with the back half, whether or not the front half of the year was stellar...here's your chance for a stellar back half and bettering the overall averages across the board for the year.   

With you in the arena, from ours to yours...Happy Trails!

Call to Action: 

• Pick out three small wins that you can pick up quickly this week to start moving the needle.  Do those things this afternoon.  
• 1 - ___________________ 
• 2 - ___________________
• 3 - ___________________
• Discussion: Consider what you/your family could/would/should (level of commitment) and start/stop/sustain (action) in terms of the next six-month steps.  Think about what you can then multiply that progress into for next year's goals to get a jump start on major life improvements a year from now.  

Further Reading, Motivation, and References:

- Fresh Start Landmarks