Time Travel

Time Travel

Say "yes" to new festivals.

We bent the space-time continuum this weekend...and...dirty little secret...we do so often.  Recently we went out on a guys' weekend camping trip.  We were gone less than 24 hours, but from the time we saw the moose near the interstate to the time we pulled back in the driveway the next day...truly felt like we'd been gone on an expedition for a month.  The secret that you can employ to warp time is simply novel experiences injected into your otherwise routine life.  Like much of what we talk about...moderation is key...but novelty is necessary.  As we've said and borrowed from The Money Guys, "bedazzle your ordinary life."  

Go visit old 
places.

We've talked about the fear of robbing the joy from later by doing so much with our kids now (cue the tiny violin).  But...the cool part...much like the zen "you can never step in the same river twice" mantra, you're a different person now, and the place you're visiting/novel thing you're doing is different later.  I'm shocked at what our kids (and us) do and don't remember about major events a year or two removed from the novelty.  Us and our kids could go back and visit Yellowstone National Park, New York City, or anything in between this year, next year, and next decade and see something new every time.  The novelty can come in when we see it through new eyes, look up the "off the beaten path" sites, or simply build in meander time.  We've been to Florida probably ten times, and while they all blend together, each trip had unique highlights and memorable memories.  

Let your imagination 
run wild.

And...another trade secret here...our world is gigantic, and you'll never hit all the novel things.  Last year we went to the Albuquerque Balloon Festival...and it was spectacular.  Perhaps not as bigger-than-life as the first time we went...but amazing.  This is a reminder to not let "comparison be the thief of joy."  You can choose to enjoy and revel in novelty or routine...do that.  Anyhow, talking with a police officer on detail from Santa Fe, he recommended coming back to Zozobra. So, a year later, we did.  It's an interesting cultural festival with incredible lights, pyrotechnics, music, dancing, and community flair.  It was novel...and again, that three-day weekend felt like three weeks.  The point here is...there is some version of a "Zozobra" community/regional festival going on in just about every town just about every year.  You won't run out.  

See yourself in 
new ways.

It's also important to remember that those time-bending experiences are what we'll tell our kids and grandkids about.  I doubt we'll be reminiscing about the good old days in thirty years and talk about the football game we watched on TV or the video game we played.  I do think we'll probably talk about...and hopefully go back to visit...the cave fort that we built in the forest 30 minutes from our home that one guy's weekend.  Again, don't mishear...the example we're talking about cost us a few bucks in canned food, a pack of pork chops (with lemon pepper), 60 minutes of round-trip gas, and 24 hours over a normal weekend.  This doesn't have to be expensive...just intentional.  

See theater.

I get it, time doesn't actually change.  I (and you) were only gone from the office for the same 48 hours between Friday and Monday...but...depending on how you chose to invest it...it'll run together or stand out in memory.  We're fortunate to live in a place where we can get out into nature fairly easily.  Don't mishear...we're not on the moon...we're at the confluence of two major interstates, in a capital city, 2 hours from one of the busiest airports on the planet.  I say that to say this...no matter where you live...novel is next door...you just have to look for it.  That said, we've talked to folks from around the country, big towns to small...and I've been floored by how many people say "there's nothing to do around here."  Time and again, when we ask...a ton of people say, "I've never heard of that" of some major (albeit some off the beaten path) attraction that is literally within a half an hour of the house they've lived in for years.  I'd suspect most of those families could, however, tell you who won the last season of the mainstream reality TV show.  

Try out a new museum.  

We talk about how life went so much slower when we were younger and how it's flying now.  Talk to an "old" person, and they'll tell you how much faster it's going every passing year.  I think, and research bears it out in part, that the reason it seems to be going so much faster each batch of 365 days is that we don't have so much novelty.  When we're young, everything is novel, and we're learning everything.  In earnest, what was the last new thing you learned as an adult?  I'll wait...chances are...you'll struggle since we're "out of school and done learning."  Don't subscribe to that mantra...read a book, travel, explore, build a new skill, get out in nature...adventure is all around us.  

Learn about people different than you.

Before we close, it's important to remind all of us that boredom is a good thing...don't steal the benefits by injecting too much novelty.  If we get rid of all routine and all tradition in order to have 24/7 novelty... like all good things...too much is still too much.  As we all seek to find our balance, it's important that you find what works for you...and your kids...and the adults your kids will become.  The novel experiences that you embark on this year and next and the one after that become the person that you'll be next.  

Visit a zoo.

As we depart for the week, remember, you don't have to have all the time or money in the world to make this work.  You just have to be intentional about putting in the time you have in order to make it happen.  Take a minute to look at the festivals in the region and the off-the-beaten-path nature spaces that you haven't visited.  Create the memories that you'll look back on and cherish forever.  

With you in the arena, from ours to yours...Happy Trails!

Call to Action: 

• Pick out three things you can do this week that are novel - new food, play at a new park, you pick.
• 1 - ___________________ 
• 2 - ___________________
• 3 - ___________________
• Discussion: Consider what you/your family could/would/should (level of commitment) and start/stop/sustain (action) in terms of injecting novelty into your coming year.

Further Reading, Motivation, and References:

- Travel Bug Tonic on Novelty

- The Science of Novelty

Choose

Choose

It takes longer
but it's worth it.

Choose - There's a quote from a variety of sources that's been floating around the "meme" space of the internet and a bit of an unknown attribution: "Marriage is hard. Divorce is hard. Choose your hard. Obesity is hard. Being fit is hard. Choose your hard. Being in debt is hard. Being financially disciplined is hard. Choose your hard. Communication is hard. Not communicating is hard. Choose your hard. Life will never be easy. It will always be hard. But we can choose our hard. Pick wisely.”  This has been "quoted" by several Navy SEALs and other similar types, but I think it most often goes back to Dr. John Deloney, one of the Dave Ramsey media personalities.  Wherever it came from, it's true.  We have choices in life.  Sometimes between the best of two bad options...but regardless, we have to choose.  

Sweat makes 
you tough.

A quick look on the interwebs and so much of this straightforward sentiment is met with discontent...and excuses.  In reality, much like the rest of life, so much of life is what we choose and what we make of it. That's cliché...but think about it. We're often placed between two hard points - perhaps one that is in-your-face-today-tactical and the other that is longer-term-strategic. The decisions we make today have echoes in who we will be in the future.  This blog, for example, is "hard" to get done every week...172 weeks in a row right now.  The "hard" is giving up before week 173 for no particularly good reason.  I'd probably regret not doing this post at the 11th hour later...in the moment right now, I want to take a week off.  

Learning matters.

Similarly, I'd like to have ice cream for every meal...the hard part I'm choosing in that decision is being able to get up off the couch and out of the house ten years from now.  Pouring into work every waking hour now...my hard choice is having a relationship with my wife and kids down the road.  On the flip side, not working hard and investing today...the hard we're choosing is a retirement that doesn't meet the expectations we've set.  You can see here that the "hard" can come in different flavors and needs to be balanced in moderation between the now and the later.  

Build your 
castle.

When we think about "hard," it's mostly mental in today's day and age.  We're likely not stabbing woolly mammoths with a stick, driving buffalo off a cliff and hitting them with a baseball bat at the bottom, or running from saber-tooth tigers very often.  The good news is that since it's mostly mental, our ability to ignore the excuses and push through is much easier than it could otherwise be in a survival or highly physical situation.  We should be able to rise above our self-interest or our body telling us that we're "too tired" to make it happen.  

Just do it...it's never
convenient.  Do it anyway.

As we look at our hard, it's important to give words to "why" a particular thing is hard and make systems that get us away from the "hard."  In other words, if we're too tired to do a thing now...build into the system where we do the hard thing earlier in the day/week/month/year.  Brian Tracy wrote Eat That Frog, which talks about getting our worst/hardest thing out of the way earliest to set the tone for the rest of the day.  Elite special forces soldiers make their bed perfectly every morning in training in order to get an easy win early.  We too can build our system where we knock out our worst (hardest) first.  

Explore now...
so that you can 
and will later.

If, instead, we're looking at our current self in the moment and having a hard time delaying gratification...or choosing by default the hard thing later, we can work on that too.  There are cell phone apps out there now that can "age" you, where you can more fully visualize what your future self will look like...and what they will look back on you like. They may look back at the now-you with admiration and gratitude for good decisions and fortitude...or with regret.  The choice can sometimes come easier when we more fully visualize that future self.  The app too hokey?  Run down to visit your local nursing home and ask them who would like more mobility?  Work out more now.  Who would like more money/options?  Stop spending to the max and invest the difference.  You get the idea...so does the next-you.

Travel...lean in...even
when it's "hard." 

As we wrap up this week, take a minute to evaluate your current self and decisions...then look at what the ramifications are when you extrapolate out where those decisions will get you in 5, 10, 20, 50 years.  Your hard that you're leaning into now or avoiding will manifest and compound...for better or worse on those longer-range timelines.  Keep in mind, you've got to live in the moment now while preparing for the moments later.  As the Money Guys put it, "bedazzle your beautiful basic life."  We can stay active and healthy; we can save money; we can pour into our spouses and children...so that we've got loved ones, resources, and an ability to enjoy them in the decades to come.  Look at hard things now, find moderation...but lean in while the stakes are relatively low...choose hard today.

With you in the arena, from ours to yours...Happy Trails!

Call to Action: 

• Pick out three hard things that you've been avoiding up until now.  Do them this week.  Keep doing them.  
• 1 - ___________________ 
• 2 - ___________________
• 3 - ___________________
• Discussion: Consider what you/your family could/would/should (level of commitment) and start/stop/sustain (action) in terms of putting hard things first.  

Further Reading, Motivation, and References:

- Eat That Frog - Brian Tracy  

Ask Not...

Ask Not What...

Go serve.

In 1961, John F. Kennedy said the famous quote, "Ask not what your country can do for you—ask what you can do for your country."  The motto-like quote has not aged well...it seems like more now than ever we're doing the opposite.  We're hanging our futures on a political candidate and asking what they can do for us...often trading our short-term pleasure for what likely will be our long-term pain through deferred spending liabilities.  Anyhow, the point here is more broadly...which side of the quote are you on?  Your family?  What are you asking of your country vs what are you doing for your country?  That's pretty broad and abstract when we zoom out to the national level. 

Help a 
neighbor. 

However, when you zoom in a little bit and ask the same question for your region?  State?  County?  City?  Neighborhood?  Somewhere along the line, from national to local...you likely (hopefully) get to a place where the question equation flips.  It's likely much easier to do something for your community than your nation.  Could you pick up trash along the road?  Could you do a service project?  Can you mow your neighbor's yard?  Scoop their snow?  There is probably a good chance that you can make a meaningful difference when you zoom in a bit.  

Help at the local
musuem.

When you zoom in a little farther, chances are that you can improve your church, local non-profit, school, library, etc.  Chances are you can volunteer to walk the dogs at the animal shelter, read to kids at the library, or help with Sunday School or Awana.  When we become the change we want to see in the world, the world begins to change.  That sounds cliche...but instead of complaining about how something should be that is within our range of influence, it's our responsibility to help influence it.  This isn't to say that you're solely responsible for "the thing" but you can be part of the solution.  You can double down by organizing your circle to also be helpful.  

Serve year
round. 

At work, we've talked about the grass being greener where you water it.  In the same vein, ask what you can do for your work?  How about for your supervisor, subordiantes, colleagues, and customers?  Are there things that you can do to go above and beyond that add value to your relationships with them?  To add another cliche, "people don't remember what you say, they remember how you made them feel."  We're not necessarily talking about doing a special new project...it could be as simple as making someone smile or make someone feel included.  Often times, those are more important markers of success than meeting some quarterly metric.  Keep the metrics in mind...and meet them...but do it while planting some smiles.  

Fix a tire.

And, when we get to the very inner circle, our spouses and children in our homes, it's perhaps most criticial what you can provide back to them.  This isn't transactional, but if you picture the what-you-get vs what-you-give as an account, it's critical that you not only keep the balance, but build up a surplus.  This means that all of the things you get from your family (hopefully) - sanctuary, peace, love, joy, and so forth are beyond belief amazing.  That said, your contributions to those items...and to the other things like dishes, laundry, honey-do-list, and such are critical.  The most important relationships of your life are just that...and should be treated as such.  Don't just say, "I love you," do the things that someone who loves, cherishes, and adores someone would do.  

Coach a team.  

As we wrap up this week, we all have questions that we need to ask...it's critical that we ask what we can do to make things better...for those that matter most...and those that are around us.  It's fine that we take, it's critical that we give.  Give at home.  Give in our communties.  Give in our cirlces that surround us.  When we leave it better than we found it...that means in the short term and the long term...we've got to answer the question more often than not on the positive side.  This leaving it better than we found it means that down the road (hopefully far down the road), you get to hear "well done, good and faithful servant."  

With you in the arena, from ours to yours...Happy Trails!

Call to Action: 

• Pick out a few actions that you can do this week in order to make the world and those around you better.  Take a few steps this week to ask the question...and answer it in a new way...consistently.  Write down three things that you'll do this week...as a family...to do for others.  
• 1 - ___________________ 
• 2 - ___________________
• 3 - ___________________
• Discussion: Consider what you/your family could/would/should (level of commitment) and start/stop/sustain (action)

Further Reading, Motivation, and References:

- Kennedy's Speech

Safety-fied

Safety-fied

Wear a hair net, 
but learn to cook.

There is a scene in the epic Lonesome Dove where the two main protagonists are lamenting their contributions in taming the West.  As they reflect on civilization coming to the wild, they realize or admit that running out all the danger might not have been a great idea in hindsight.  In today's day and age, we've only hammered on the proverbial safety pedal.  When we prioritize safety over all other things, we lose our ability to build our risk management muscles because we've engineered the real danger out of so many things.  In other words, we do things differently when we have a soft landing or "out" available to us.  At some level, it's great, a wonderful thing, that things like childhood mortality have gone down.  Period.  But, in getting through small risks successfully (or adding a few bumps and learning), we build our ability to be able to navigate large risks.  

Go see the old
school.

In our modern world, things like seat belts, helmets, and lifejackets have obviously been good inventions for our children and ourselves.  That said, when was the last time you saw some kid doing an epic bike jump, riding in the back of a pickup truck, or doing some crazy swimming thing?  I'm not advocating that we lose our safety gear.  I am advocating that we leverage it to do the things that give us scars and stories.  Couple this safety-above-all attitude with the pervasiveness of electronics (particularly gaming), and our young people are in for it.  Growing up, any "armor" for kids was quite literally bubble wrap.  Now, you can get some pretty snazzy-looking pads for every part of your body...to enable you to do cool things.   

Practice dangerous
things.

On the flip side, for better or worse, some safety items make us behave differently, more riskily and sometimes beyond our capabilities. In wildland firefighting, several major countries do not have their firefighters carry fireshelters (the "tinfoil" tent that protects you from a burnover incident).  Their rationale is that you'll do less "dumb" things or overly aggressive things if you think you have a magic blanket on your belt to bail you out of the consequences.  Similarly, a pilot with a parachute is enabled to fly differently than one without.  In some contexts, that overly aggressive enabling is a positive thing; in others it reinforces our "exit ramp" attitude as a first course of action conundrum.  

Work on new 
skills.

Translating this a bit back to our homes, the same principles apply where we put things like bankruptcy and divorce in the "plan A" bucket if something doesn't go well.  This excuses our due diligence, preparation, and commitment because "we've got an out."  When we take our "til death do us part" vows, we're saying the words out loud, but are we internalizing and truly committing to the activities necessary to make the promise?  Are we also committing to putting our spouse's needs, wants, and desires above our own?  Are we committed to being all in?  All the time?  Would we do things differently before and during marriage if the alternative to divorce was truly death?  Cut up the contract and shuffle off the mortal coil?  

Shoes may be 
a good idea.

In the family finance category, is our behavior changed when we count the cost?  If we take away the so-called safety nets of bankruptcy, social security, etc, would we behave differently?  Would we still buy the bigger house, fancier car, and nicer stuff along the way?  Or, would we, like the generations before us, put necessity before niceties?  For our grandparents and beyond that, if you made poor financial decisions...you lived with it.  The consequences were natural and severe.  Instead of a swipe now, pay later, they had to save first, which often required much more scrutiny and consideration before parting with their dollars.  

Go see hail...
bring a helmet. 

Overall, the ability for us to have an "easy out" has contributed to our dumber decisions and softer abilities.  The good news is...you don't have to.  We can have our cake and eat it too when it comes to the best of yesteryear with the safety features available today.  Just because you likely won't get scalped, eaten by a bear, or die of dysentery...doesn't mean you can't still go do amazing outdoor adventures.  Just because you have an AC-filled house with endless entertainment online... doesn't mean you can't go lay out under the stars or have a picnic with your loved ones.  Just because you can delegate your travel to a safe airline...doesn't mean you shouldn't pack up the car and go on a road trip.  And, just because you could tell your boss to take this job and shove it...or your spouse...doesn't mean you should.  

Have a safety 
rope when it is
necessary.

As we wrap up, use the back half of the year to leverage safety...without changing behavior.  Wear the seatbelt without jumping the car.  Put on the bike helmet...but still jump the bike.  Take an informed risk on a new business adventure...but save up ahead of time.  All in all, we're in a great time in life to leverage the lessons that aren't so far gone from our ancestors...if we're willing to listen to them and incorporate them.  All in all, use the best parts that are available from yesterday, today, and tomorrow to live the big, beautiful, best life that you've been called to...and wear a helmet when it makes sense.  

With you in the arena, from ours to yours...Happy Trails!

Call to Action: 

• Pick out a few things that you need to change this week that help you reset your safety equipment...ones that make sense (helmets and seatbelts) and others that don't (divorce).  Double down where it matters.  
• 1 - ___________________ 
• 2 - ___________________
• 3 - ___________________
• Discussion: Consider what you/your family could/would/should (level of commitment) and start/stop/sustain (action) in terms of making the right decisions for the safety, sanity, and sanctity of your family.  

Further Reading, Motivation, and References:

- Safety Third with Mike Rowe

If You Build It...

If You Build It...

Raising more than a roof.

The Field of Dreams, a classic movie with Kevin Costner, the "if you build it, they will come" has been a punchline for decades now.  In the movie, the line refers to building a baseball field in the farmer's cornfield, much to the chagrin of his banker.  The cornfield can bring back legendary baseball figures...and the main character's father for one more game of catch.  Today, we wanted to talk to you about the physical act of building something.  We've talked about the importance of being a creator, not a consumer, here for years.  In today's day and age, it's easy to go through life in near total comfort without lifting a metaphorical or physical finger along the way to build anything.  

Skills matter.

The act of building something - fort, tree house, shed, cabin, playhouse, playground, etc., is not only a learning opportunity but more importantly a time for bonding.  Beyond the shared time in working together on something physical, it leaves behind a tangible marker to "I did that" that your children can build confidence upon.  In the recently released Toy Story 5, the tech "toys" talk about their lifecycle of a few months.  A physical thing you and your children build may last decades.  The skills that they'll develop, such as trial-and-error, planning, toughness, math, etc., are all useful in any occupation.  Should they choose to go into the trades, they're also well-positioned with the basics.  And, bonus time, when they have routine maintenance around their own homes later, they'll have the confidence to get it done.  

Even the dog 
can help.

Before you talk yourself out of it, it's easier now than perhaps ever before to undertake a project of pretty significant magnitude.  First off, the "how to" is more taken care of now with things like YouTube and, ironically, AI.  Chances are, there is a near full-length tutorial on any building project you could dream up.  And, when you get stuck on a particular step, AI can help break down the instructions in a step-by-step fashion.  In the old days, you largely had to grow up in an "apprenticeship" style culture where you learned from a master.  That's still great today, but not necessary.  Now that you have the know-how basics, you can move on to the logistics.  

It's easier than you think.

In getting ready for any new building project, the research, planning, budgeting, safety, risk management, and executive functioning for a parent-child team are a huge part of learning success.  This phase can last months as you keep an eye on the second-hand stores (i.e., Habitat ReStore), Yardsale circuit, and Facebook Marketplace.  Chances are, you can find the basic tools necessary and most of the building materials for next to nothing if you're a bit patient and open-minded.  We've had success with most of our building projects "one board at a time," like Johnny Cash's infamous Cadillac.  

Forts count.

If you say you don't have the room, chances are you have more room than you think.  And, if you're really out of room, consider asking a friend, relative, or neighbor if you can build something there.  Check in with the local senior center to see if anyone in their community needs something touched up.  Our backyard isn't anything out of the suburban ordinary in terms of size, but we've built, torn down, re-built, repurposed, etc., many creations along with several more permanent structures.  The kids have a "move-in-ready" treehouse, fort, dog "palace," and cabin/shed/thing, which have all fit into our backyard without appearing "crowded.  

And bridges.

The ability to be handy, capable, and confident cannot be overstated for our children.  The bonding time has been some of the best.  And, their ability to be systems thinkers who can put together a plan, budget, orderly steps, etc., will serve them well for years ahead.  The projects have also given us the shared reminders that we can make do with whatever we have and make things work, which can save tens or hundreds of thousands over a lifetime when incorporated as a mindset.  When all of us have had the minor dings, mashed thumbs, and such... the building has given us the conversation starter about being tough and getting the job done anyway.  

So do neighbor
service projects.

As we wrap up, giving you (and your children) the gift of building has countless tangible and intangible benefits.  The barriers to entry are not nearly what you might think...like most barriers, they're mostly in your own head.  As you prepare your kids to enter an ever-changing world, being grounded, capable, and confident may be more important than ever before.  And...if you're not convinced yet that "you've got this," go hang out at a Habitat for Humanity project for a few weekends to brush up.  Because, deep down, it's worth it...and "you've got this."  Good luck and happy hammering! 

With you in the arena, from ours to yours...Happy Trails!

Call to Action: 

• Pick out a few small projects to get you started with some basic tools, skills, and confidence.  Then pick a capstone for this year to put together.  Start the steps now to getting it done.  
• 1 - ___________________ 
• 2 - ___________________
• 3 - ___________________
• Discussion: Consider what you/your family could/would/should (level of commitment) and start/stop/sustain (action) in terms of building something physical together as a family.

Further Reading, Motivation, and References:

- You might just build your own house one day - Kyle's Cabin

- Or a heckuva lifestyle making content - Bushradical

Crawl, Walk, Run, Sprint Sessions

Crawl, Walk, Run, Sprint Sessions

Run is the 
goal.

It's easy to fall into the "stop learning trap" when you're done with formal school.  The secret is, in part, that for a long, happy, fulfilled, and successful life, you need to be a lifelong learner.  When we stop learning, we sort of shut off and begin to rust out.  As we transition from the rote memorization that takes up much of our primary learning years and transition into adulthood, the "crawl, walk, run" model of learning becomes a much more applicable schema or paradigm to use for being self-taught.  The good news is, to get to the run stage, we have just about everything we need right in our very own home.  

Little steps
add up.

From a crawl perspective, there's not much anymore that you can't get the gist of from an online video, tutorial, library book, mentor, etc.  With the basics, it becomes up to us to put in the practice time, the reps, so to speak, until we're starting into the walk phase.  On a disaster deployment, a friend of mine was juggling oranges on a break...after a little chatting, he gave me the basics, and after some practice...I can sort of juggle.  I've made it to the walk stage.  I won't be on a Las Vegas stage anytime soon...but with a little practice, I'm proficient.  

We get there through
diligent practice.

The good news for most of us...in most parts of our lives, we can get to the walk stage fairly quickly...and for most of us...that's good enough.  In the juggling example, I don't need to be a circus-level professional; I only need to be proficient enough to enjoy and delight our kids from time to time.  It's been said that there are 10,000 hours to mastery, but others have said that we can get "decent" in about 10 hours.  You don't need to be a car mechanic...but should be able to do basic maintenance.  You don't need to be a chef...but proficient in the kitchen.  You get the point here...for most of life, we can get the 10-hour level basics down, and that's probably good enough.  

Bring a loved one with you.

For the parts of life that require mastery, perhaps the run stage of the growth process is the right next step.  We tried pickleball the other day, and it was clear that our instructor (a retired guy) was clearly in the run phase of his pickleball journey.  It had served as a passion and connection (physical, social, etc) for him...and he was very good.  In the rest of our lives, the lifelong mastery of things like faith and family is critical to keep striving for continual improvement as we go through new phases and seasons of our lives.  From family, as an example, I went through the crawl (not so great), walk (a little better), run (pretty decent) as a dad of babies.  I had to repeat the process for toddlers.  Now I'm working through what that looks like for elementary kids.  

We don't always have to be 
going the same speed as those 
around us.

It's been said in many of the stressful disciplines that "we don't rise to the occasion, but rather we fall to the level of training."  That means that the "if you fail to plan, you're planning to fail" because we know we have to put in the crawl and walk training/time so that when we're required to...we can do the proverbial run.  In digging into this a little more, the baby steps we take (research, trial-and-error, practice, etc) help us plan...not to fail.  Wing it can sometimes work...but in the most important parts of life, sometimes it is too low a bar for potential failure.  

It takes practice.

When you're working through the crawl stage as a beginner, it's critical to give yourself enough grace and patience to be open to failing...until you fail forward and it works.  I remember during a marathon back during college, where there is a deep sand pit, maybe a half mile long at mile 24 or so...I was in the top 20 out of 700 or so runners when we got to that point.  A German soldier and I took turns falling from cramps, crawling, stumbling up into a walk/jog/shuffle/run, only to fall back to crawling again.  That stage seemed to go on forever...but my ability and willingness to crawl for the training months leading up to the race allowed me to have a little less crawling, or rather, transition to walking more often and for longer than the other guy.  I finished eleventh that year...the crawl/walk/literal run had paid off.  

All the phases can be a 
team sport if you let them.

As we wrap it up this Father's Day weekend, take time to remember that you have seasons behind you that prepare you for seasons in front of you.  You've also hopefully got mentors around you who are a few years ahead of you that can help you figure out what the most effective and efficient methods of crawling, walking, and running are in your life.  The important part here is to remember not to wing it...and remember that you're not in it alone...and that it matters.  Your family is counting on you in the little moments and the big ones, and you've done enough crawling and walking to show up when it matters most.  

With you in the arena, from ours to yours...Happy Trails!

Call to Action: 

• Pick out a soft or hard skill that you've struggled with.  Commit to and list out three crawl things you can do to make that skill/part of life stronger.  
• 1 - ___________________ 
• 2 - ___________________
• 3 - ___________________
• Discussion: Consider what you/your family could/would/should (level of commitment) and start/stop/sustain (action) in terms of crawling, walking, and running as a family - reading the Bible, reading together, meals around the table, hikes, etc...set a goal...start with the baby steps.

Further Reading, Motivation, and References:

- Malcolm Gladwell 10,000 Hours

- Crawl, Walk, Run Framework

Dragons Be There

Dragons Be There

Dragons are here.

On old maps, when the known world sort of ran out, there were markings, "Dragons be there."  In other words, the unknown was inherently scary and implied danger.  The same applies to our comfort zones...but...when we go past the boundaries and stare over the abyss, we often see that it is less unknown and likely less scary than we thought in our head.  Our brains have a way of telling a story that can grow out of proportion.  We've struggled or toyed with the idea of picking up and moving to a new part of the country...sight unseen, so to speak.  We've created the potential downsides of Godzilla along the way..."we'd never replace the salary we have here," "it'd take years to make new friends," etc.  In other words, "dragons be there" when we look at that part of the map.  And those dragons keep us from falling off the edge.  

And here.  

Sure, in that example, some of those dragons are real.  We could get ourselves into a regret pickle by making the jump.  We could also shine a little light in the dark places by researching, visiting, traveling, and poking holes in the pieces that scare us.  We could, in large part, minimize the parts of the map where our dragons live.  That doesn't mean we should just blow up a comfortable life...just because we can.  Societies and civilizations were built on the backs of curious dreamers and brave explorers who dared to go where the dragons were on the map.  The balance of "back office support" and "leading edge innovation" is what helped us as humans conquer our domains.  To do great things takes both, and we should seek to fill parts of our lives (and souls) with both.  

A sure sign of dragons in the area.

If you live a life where you allow yourself to fall into the monotony of "I get up, I go to work, I go to bed, I repeat," life gets pretty dour.  If instead, you inject novelty and adventure into your lives, life is pretty great.  The six inches between your ears to make the commitment that "we'll go camping this weekend" as a louder voice than, "I've got a ton to do around the house, and putting camping stuff away sucks" is critical.  There are plenty of wild things and wild spaces surrounding us that can be reached and immersed all around us.  The secret is, they're often just outside of our comfort zone.  Depending on who you are, the "dragons be there" for you may be going out to that ethnic restaurant and trying something new, attending the festival in the next town over, hiking a mountain, doing a road trip, etc.  Our dragons don't match...it's just important that you go face yours.  

Another sure sign...
launching a rock over
your dad and brother's
heads.

Across the space of our lives, we often get into a comfortable rut.  At work, the idea of moving to consulting, switching professions, opening a business, buying a rental property, or anything else is likely an unknown...to you.  Chances are, through exploration, research, mentorship, and seeking out learning, there are folks who have successfully done what you're attempting to do.  As you're staring down your dragons, find a person a few years ahead of you on that path and ask them which bends have the dragons...and how they got past them.  Before becoming a parent, the path was wrought with dragons - what if I put the diaper on the wrong end, what if I don't read to them enough...or too much...what if...  Turns out, for centuries, people have been able to figure those things out...and so will you too.

Dragons are 
all around.

I'm writing this, this week, from a road trip in Alaska.  Driving through a relatively small part of a giant state (turns out there's just not very many roads up here), one thing is apparent...dragons that have been unseen by human eyes probably could be hiding out among the trees, mountains, and glaciers.  This place is huge and wild.  It's also a reminder that there are wild, huge places still around...and that God, as the Creator, is powerful and mighty.  Too much time surrounded by cement and steel and glass can dull our senses and make us forget that there are dragons bigger and more powerful than Lance or Phillis down the row of cubicles at work.    Travelling is a wonderful way to remind ourselves that, yes...there are still dragons...and yes...that's still a good thing.  

They're right
around the 
bend in the 
trail.

As we close this week, remember that often, the dragons that are off the edge of our comfort zone map are there, but they're manageable.  They're less scary than we often originally make them out to be, and we can conquer them.  It's also important to remember that part of life is seeking out, finding, and facing dragons.  Our forefathers braved the literal peril to conquer new lands, explore new professions, pioneer new journeys...and now we're a comfortable lot.  Don't let those wild genes somewhere deep down within you lose the flickering flame of your own dragon.  Go out there, into the wild places, stretch your comfort zone, and make new memories.  If you're fortunate enough to have grandkids someday, the stories they'll want to hear about didn't involve a water cooler or cubicle or Taco Tuesday at work.  Make wise decisions...that make great stories.  Good luck!

With you in the arena, from ours to yours...Happy Trails!

Call to Action: 

• Pick out a scary dragon to mitigate this week through research or conversation...and a wild dragon that you'll take steps to get closer to.  
• 1 - ___________________ 
• 2 - ___________________
• 3 - ___________________
• Discussion: Consider what you/your family could/would/should (level of commitment) and start/stop/sustain (action) in terms of exploring the wild places.  

Further Reading, Motivation, and References:

- Nat Geo Here Be Dragons

Hand Me Down Genes

Hand Me Down Genes

Go see yesteryear.

Garret Hedlund, River, Again talks about the generations that come and go.  Think about your grandparents (if you were lucky), or great grandparents (if you were really lucky), and the time you had with them.  Garrett talks in his song about "if we were the same age, we'd be pretty good friends."  Now, fast forward to your role as a parent.  Our world these days is much less intergenerational than perhaps ever before in time.  It used to be that the village elders raised the kids while the able-bodied cohort was out providing (food, firewood, etc).  As we've "progressed," so to speak, we've outsourced so much of the village - daycares, grocery stores, HVAC, and utility companies.  We've "diminished" the need for...and consequently, in large part, the purpose of our elders.  In parts of the world, families still live in multi-generational living situations...in much of America, not so much.  As we put our elders increasingly into elder living camps - Margaritaville, the Villages, or your local retirement home/nursing home/etc, I think we're probably losing some special connection that our lives were intended to have.

Seeing struggle of
those before matters.  

Similarly, we're getting further from the days and geographies of all of us living near the "family farm" where you could have generations that all stayed in the proverbial valley.  I know quite a few folks in our circle that did not grow up here in our capital city...they're (including us..."from somewhere else").  I also know quite a few folks in our circle who have recently retired and moved out of state...almost the next day.  With modern technology, we're more able to do so, more easily and affordably than perhaps any time in human history.  Just because we can...doesn't necessarily mean we should.

See what others
were able to do.

When we move cross-country, or even cross-region, often, "to the big city," we're slipping further and further from our roots.  My ancestors, at least a few generations back, were farmers, connected to the land and working with their hands, toiling in the dirt to cut out a life for their family.  My parents' generation (aunts, uncles, etc) largely didn't end up doing much of anything with farming, except one uncle.  I had the chance, through junior high and high school, to work for a local farmer in our rural area.  My parents have since moved into another town out of state, and our family makes our home in the traditional "suburban" digs like much of modern American life.  

Walk where they walked.  

I wouldn't trade some of the lessons learned and skills developed growing up...but I'm not sure I can recreate it in any meaningful way for our children.  Even my experience "doing the same thing" as my grandparents would be hardly recognizable with the technology that has modernized the profession.  He wore literal goggles to keep the dirt out of his eyes.  I sat in an air-conditioned cab and pushed on a joystick.  Still, as we talk about lineage and connection to ancestors, we have to be very proactive and intentional to build connections to the "good old days" for our children.  

See what they
built.

When was the last time you figured out how to watch the old VHS recording from when you were small to show your children what Grandpa and Grandma looked like back then?  How about driving back past their old stomping grounds?  How about telling the stories that they'd told you?  By letting these "boring" things slip away and fade to black, we lose them altogether.  I get it, I really do, we're busy today, overcome by events.  We have a schedule that is constantly pushing us to do more with seemingly less time.  In falling into this siren song, we turn our ancestors' legacy into a set of DNA markers...not necessarily character markers.  

Learn how they lived.

Perhaps worse yet, we lose sight of their sacrifice, the hardness of their lives, the overcoming nature of your lineage, the heritage of adaptation that conspired to plant you on your cushy suburban couch.  I think losing this touch to the "old times" removes the perspective and right-sizing of our modern struggles.  In other words, when we stand our modern angst against itself or our peers, it seems monumental.  When we put it beside our great grandparents who struggled to put food on the table for their children while living in a 1-bedroom shack, uphill in the snow both ways, so to speak, our modern worries pale in comparison.  Seeing and appreciating their sacrifices and contributions, hopefully, helps us realize what truly matters in our modern world.  

Talk about them when 
you're doing life.

Growing up, we had a great aunt and uncle, John and Eva.  I'm not even sure what the real relationship was, but they were those "old people" when I was a kid.  In the stories that have been told about them, they didn't have two nickels to rub together, but in their shared lot in life, they found true joy in a shared ice cream cone from Dairy Queen.  Perhaps an embodiment of "contentment as wanting what we have."  Their peaceful spirit of...true contentment...is something lost on our modern world.  Now, we're racing between two jobs to get the biggest screen with the newest attachments...but so busy we never get to truly just snuggle up with our loved ones and be in the moment.  

Experience the time 
long ago.

We call modern technology a convenience.  It certainly is that.  I'm not certain, not even close to convinced, in fact, that it's truly progress.  Much like the old story of the American tycoon on vacation in Mexico who tells the humble fisherman that if he toils his adult life, he could scale his business and after twenty years could sit on the beach and fish all day.  The American, missing the point, that the Mexican fisherman...is sitting on the beach, fishing all day.  As we increasingly forget to appreciate the "hand me down genes" and all the life experience, lessons, and perspectives that go with that, I think we're, in many ways, like that American tycoon who sorely misses the forest for the trees.  

Cherish the
memories.

As we wrap up and go about our way this week, perhaps the call to action or the takeaway is to slow down where you can.  Go call your grandparents (if you're fortunate enough to still have them around), or better yet, go visit them to just sit and talk...with your kids.  If they're not still around, consider going to your local nursing home...trick-or-treat there, go caroling there...get an opening...then go back...to just talk.  I know it sounds awkward and "boring" (que the teenager eye roll here), but when those "genes" are gone...so too, gone are the stories and the lessons that help right-size our modern trials and tribulations.  That "Greatest Generation" that came and has largely gone can give us so much perspective to meet our modern challenges...but we just have to be patient and willing to listen.  

With you in the arena, from ours to yours...Happy Trails!

Call to Action: 

• Pick out a couple "old folks" to go spend time with this week.  Schedule a time and just go talk.
• 1 - ___________________ 
• 2 - ___________________
• 3 - ___________________
• Discussion: Consider what you/your family could/would/should (level of commitment) and start/stop/sustain (action) in terms of pouring into and learning from those who went before you (blood relatives or otherwise).  

Further Reading, Motivation, and References:

- Garrett Hedlund, River, Again

- Desert Drifter on Youtube - he has unfortunately passed due to a car accident, but many of his videos talk about generations that came before us...far before us.