Now & Next

Now & Next

Sometimes we get both.

Now and next.  Now vs most.  In many parts of life, we make the wrong decision when it comes to what we say we want vs what we actually do to get where we're going.  In other words, we may say that we want something most but make daily decisions that don't lead us closer to that thing.  In finance, for example, we may say that we want to have financial independence and eventually retirement...most.  But, then in the "now" we max out our credit cards and ignore saving/investing.  In this example, we say we want something most, but our current decisions don't align. 

Plastic veggies are a 
"most" item.

As humans, we can build our self-control muscles by practicing the things that get us closer to what we want most instead of just what feels good now.  As we mature and as we raise our children, delayed gratification is a key and continual step on that journey.  By practicing the things that help us get close to the desired end states, the habitual nature kicks in and helps us snowball our progress.  Through goal setting, we can define the end zones, and through continuous decisions and actions, we can get closer to those aspirations.  Similarly, we can model the behavior that we want our children to adopt, and over time, our delayed gratification becomes their way of life.  

Good books help.

When we talk about the now and next, it also involves thinking through the next steps around the corners and seasons of life that will take us increasingly closer to our best life and who we aspire to become as a family.  The "now" decisions help prime and pave the way for the next paths that are available.  As we help our children grow, it's important that we keep as many "next" choices and options open as long as possible.  If you want your children to thrive when they leave the nest, it'll be important to help them make the "now" decisions that leave the "next" paths on the table.  For example, if being in a STEM career is in their future (next), then it's probably important to make sure they take advanced math in high school (now).  

Doing lots of the 
"most" in the "now"
helps cement it.

In survival training, we talk about priorities and the rule of 3's.  The whole 3 hours without shelter, 3 days without water, and so forth can help us determine the important now and next measures.  Without guiding principles to organize actions, folks in survival situations can tend toward panic and wasted energy that makes their situation demonstrably worse.  On a more strategic timeline, our decisions today can make our tomorrows better or worse.  To continue our example, if we want to be able to rough house with our grandkids, we probably need to pick more treadmills and fewer nachos in our 30s and 40s.  

Mom flowers
check both boxes.

Looking at now and next, we can help ourselves by making the right things easier and the wrong things harder.  In part, we can do so by surrounding ourselves with like-minded people in our community and circles.  If you're trying to get out of debt, don't hang out with people who are maxed to their eyeballs in mortgages, car payments, and the newest fashions every day.  Similarly, if we struggle with health and weight, hang out at the gym, meet friends for frisbee golf, or join a hiking group instead of going out for dinner with friends or hitting the bar scene.  By surrounding ourselves with teammates who will champion our lifestyle, it becomes easier to say "yes" to the items that help us closer to the "most" instead of falling for the feel-good of the "now."  

Shared goals
matter.

As we think about the shared power of "most" with your inner circle loved ones, it is important to be transparent and on the same page.  When you think that you're serving the family by saying "yes" to every work opportunity and your spouse just wants you home, the expectation discrepancy is ripe for trouble.  Within the big rocks of life, it is important that you, your spouse, and your kids are all committed to the "now," "next," and "most."  In doing so, we can lean in with supportive actions, reduce friction, and help each other through the tough spots while celebrating the high spots.  As you build out the big rock "most" items in your life, make sure it is a collaborative process shared with those most important to you.  

Flying starts with a system and
teammates.

By figuring out, in a written, clearly defined way, the long game road map that we're after, we can help
define the now and next steps necessary to get us to the end zone.  Want a great marriage...do the things that great marriages require to be great.  In identifying and mapping out the way ahead, we can help ensure that when failure does pop up, we can use it as a springboard to move forward.  We'll have hiccups along any journey...that's okay.  Learning from them and translating them into "next" on the way to "most" is a common denominator of successful people.  I've had several people in my circle who have allowed failure to eclipse "most" and taken the off-ramps of substance abuse and suicide.  Our vision on "most" level outcomes helps us adapt and shift along the path to keep progress and forward momentum when our pace is knocked off balance by life's happenings.  

Aim small, miss
small...in goals 
and life.

As we wrap up this week, take a moment to define the "most" in the different buckets of your life.  As you do, right size them relative to each other.  It's hard to say you want to be a retired, pro athlete, millionaire, CEO, with amazing kids, and a perfect spouse.  In reality, the balance or blend of our life buckets becomes our purpose or mission statement.  In crafting and living that, we can help ensure that our wheel stays in balance.  For example, like we've talked before, spending 90 hours a week at work...probably isn't conducive to strong family life outside of perhaps a jointly committed-to sprints session.  

With you in the arena, from ours to yours...Happy Trails!

Call to Action: 

• Pick out three of the Zig Buckets that you're going to carefully define a "most" in this week for your family.  Then flesh them out with a couple of "now" and "next" actions that move you closer to those end states.  
• 1 - ___________________ 
• 2 - ___________________
• 3 - ___________________
• Discussion: Consider what you/your family could/would/should (level of commitment) and start/stop/sustain (action) in terms of getting closer to "most," which becomes living your best life.  

Further Reading, Motivation, and References:

- "Discipline is the difference between doing what you want most and doing what you want right now."  Abraham Lincoln