Musings on Goals

Musings on Goals

Written Goals - In many parts of life, our goals may not be clearly defined or written down. 

The desert is good for refection.

For most of those parts of life, we're making a mistake.  Sure, the goal of getting to work on time may be more of a habit than a "big goal," but by writing them down, we gain stickiness.  In writing them down, we also find the opportunity to refine or shape them to be more meaningful to our situation.  Through the writing, we can use one of the monikers like SMART - specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, and timely (substitute your own criteria from the many out there) to enhance our goals.  Also, through the writing, we internalize and can create more shared buy-in by posting them in prominent places.  As it's been said, "hazy goals make hazy results" - the writing of them helps take the haziness out.  

Writing...even in
sand counts.

Speaking it into existence...whether that's putting pen to paper and posting in a prominent place...or casting it out to those in your circle... your odds of success go up.  When you have a team around you that can share in your action, momentum, and progress, you build accountability partners.  For some goals, like say the "maintain, don't gain" challenge for weight around Christmas, the crowdsourcing of motivation and competition can serve everyone well.  For others, like say paying off your mortgage earlier, the group around you may be an online Dave Ramsey-type support group, a financially focused small group at church, or simply your spouse and a financial advisor.  

Celebrations can be timeless.

Celebration is a key piece of goals.  It's hard to get excited when we don't know where the finish line or goal post is.  It's even harder to get excited if that goal post moves randomly around the field without our knowledge.  When we set out with a goal, we should define what success looks like at the end of our sprint (or marathon) challenge...and the "so what" of how we're going to celebrate.  For example, we may have a goal of paying off all of our debts...and then go to Nashville to do the public "Debt Free Scream" with Dave Ramsey.  We should try to align our goal completion celebration(s) with our overall goals.  In other words, don't celebrate hitting a diet target by eating a bucket of ice cream.  The celebration doesn't need to be extravagant or expensive...just meaningful to you and your family.  

We get better...
when we work.

Practice towards progress towards perfection.  In other words, we shouldn't expect to be good or necessarily even competent when we start out.  Therefore, on both the goals, the habit, and the celebrations, we should work our way up as we go with baby steps.  As we're figuring out meaningful celebrations, practice with small ones.  For example, if we, as a family, can get our schoolwork caught up and the house cleaned, we'll go to the zoo on Saturday.  As far as actions go, say we're paying off debt, before we downsize the house, trade our car for a bike, and dumpster dive food...perhaps we work our way up with small "no" moments like saying "yes" to eating at home on Friday night instead of going out.  By practicing the little steps and little wins, we can better understand the bigger rocks and actions necessary to make meaningful progress.  

Each step is one
closer.

Momentum matters.  As we piggyback off of the small wins, keep in mind the saying "don't despise these small beginnings" has been paraphrased and repeated from Zechariah 4:10.  When we make meaningful, sometimes almost imperceptible gains in the right direction, our momentum builds.  As the momentum builds, it allows us to "clear" obstacles that pop up, threatening to derail our progress.  The more small actions and wins we rack up, the larger our momentum until we've effectively created a tsunami that can run over even the largest obstacles.  Take infidelity as an example, if you've chalked up the small wins over and over through the years and decades, you're nowhere near the edge...and consequently, when life gets rocky and an "out" appears with the opposite sex...you're not tempted.  If, instead, you allow the momentum to work backwards, constantly tempted and playing into the flirtation, not filling your spouse's love tank...chances are when it gets rocky, you go for the eject handles.  

Having a system...even dad 
pulling counts.

Systems over "goals."  It seems this saying has popped up over the past few years.  While I don't disagree with it...I would say it's not "over" but perhaps more accurately "goals through systems."  To say it differently, you should have a goal that sets the conditions for success, it tells us when we've won and what winning looks like.  That, however, is often not enough to make it happen.  We need to build the systems around us that can help orient and direct our actions meaningfully toward the goal itself.  For example, within budgeting, it's easy to say, "We want to be debt-free."  The system looks like making a budget to spend within our means, saying "no" to things that don't bring us value or joy, getting our big rocks (housing, transportation, food) in order, and checking in transparently with our spouse on the actions and results.  The system by itself is pretty hollow.  The goals by themselves make a pretty motivational poster for an office.    

Keeping the main thing
the main thing is 
critical.

Task and Purpose - goals on their lofty pedestals aren't enough.  Our systems ultimately get made up of tasks with a defined purpose for meaningful action.  In our disaster incident action plans (IAPs), the sort of playbook or sheet of music we use to get everyone's rowing in the right direction together, many teams use the "task, purpose, end state" language to clarify the needed work to be done...while unifying everyone's individual contributions to the overall endzone.  If you think of your "end state" or goal as the seat of your stool or the body of your car, the purposeful tasks become the legs or wheels.  By tying the work and result together, we can help everyone be more motivated through understanding how they fit into the bigger picture.  Similarly, by tying every task to a purpose, we can help ensure that we reduce the "busy work" that tends to come with a bureaucracy, whether it's at home or in another part of your life.  

At the end of the day...
it's on your shoulders.

Own the field - an Incident Commander and long-time "mentor" type uses this mantra as a rallying cry for the team.  Similarly, with your goals, you've got to own them for long-term sustainability.  While "arranged marriage" type goal adoption of goals can work, doing something big (e.g., my dad wants me to go to law school) for someone else's approval or ownership is likely a bad idea.  Without the internalization of the goal and finish line for you and your family, you'll likely spin your wheels in the mud, failing to find traction and wasting resources (time, energy, effort, attention, money, etc.).  With most goals, once you're a married, family team, the royal "we" needs to take up the ownership of the goals.  If one of you is bailing out water while the other is filling the boat with a bucket...it's counterproductive and frustrating to say the least of paralyzing to your progress.  

Own it...whatever
it is for you.

As we wrap up this week's post, it's important to remember that goals can be a powerful tool.  They help us organize, orient, and commit our actions and resources effectively and efficiently.  When we set out on a new goal journey, we can build on our past lessons learned and progress.  By using the "best practices" that resonate with you from above, chances are, your goal progress will improve fairly rapidly.  As you and your family reflect on "who you want to be when you grow up," consider setting out goals for the different Zig Buckets of your life for each person in your family.  By defining the what and why, our brains and ultimately our systems can help us figure out the how, who, when, and where to get us closer to our desired end states...and ultimately help us live our best lives.  

With you in the arena, from ours to yours...Happy Trails!

Call to Action: 

• Pick out a couple of areas of your life and set a good goal within them.  Or, consider three goals you've had for a while and if one of the best practices from above will get you unstuck.  Discuss it with your family...and get a little progress...this week.
• 1 - ___________________ 
• 2 - ___________________
• 3 - ___________________
• Discussion: Consider what you/your family could/would/should (level of commitment) and start/stop/sustain (action) in terms of getting more intentional toward your "end state" that you've called for your family.

Further Reading, Motivation, and References:

- SMART Goals