Learning from Others

Learning From Others

When we look at most things in life, we can learn from others.  In many cases, the biggest impediment to learning from others is our own egos and stubbornness.  Chances are, almost everyone you meet is smarter than you at something in life...and...with the right attitude, you can pick up some nuggets from them.  When you approach any new interaction with the mindset of "what can I learn from this exchange" along with "what can I contribute to this exchange" you likely open your brain more fully to be a good partner.  We've gotten in the habit of pushing our kids at museums, national parks, and such to "ask an expert" something.  This has encouraged them to build social skills, conversational skills, listening, talking to grown-ups, and other benefits...as well as picking up some cool trivia nuggets.  The old "it takes a village" is, in many ways, a testament to "learning from others" in our circles.  

Learning about Kivas at Mesa Verde.  You can
learn from those "now" or yesteryear others.

When we talk about learning from others, it's important to define and seek out the particular "others" you're after.  On a micro level of learning, you can probably learn from those immediately around you.  Whether it be those neighbors, peers, co-workers, or whoever else you "do life with," look for teaching and learning opportunities.  In a more macro sense, it is perhaps a better time than ever before to learn from those more globally.  Think about the various learning resources out there via technology - Coursera, Udemy, Youtube, Khan Academy, or so many other platforms, you can, with a little focused attention, learn just about anything about anything...which is incredible.  This doesn't mean mindlessly scrolly-consuming.  It does mean targeted learning and engagement to make you a better you.  Similarly, novel experiences "others" like those who work at various cultural, historical, museum, or other sites are wonderful "others" to learn from.  Don't forget...reading is a wonderful "learn from others" gift that is again, more accessible now than most any time in history.  

Expose your learning self and experience
a wide variety of learning opportunities.

While you're learning from others, it's important to have a mechanism to learn from yourself (and
others) in an organized fashion.  Within emergency services and the military, deliberate and proactive learning comes through a process called After Action Review-Improvement Plan (AAR-IP).  This process involves asking what was supposed to happen, what actually happened, any gaps/deltas, and a way forward to internalize the lessons.  When we take this same framework and bring it into our daily interactions we can avoid repeating the mistakes from one interaction to the next...which is huge.  You can apply this AAR-IP system to your love life, parenting, work, vacations, or anything else with an intentional and meaningful conversation.  Once this process is a bit habitualized, you'll likely start to see trends that might be useful.  

Speaking of learning from others, one key "other" is whoever we identify as a customer...not necessarily just who is "buying something from you" but the key stakeholders who rely on you in some way in your life.  To put this in perspective, listening to those around us - our pastor, the kids in our Sunday school class, the other little league parents, the folks down the wall of cubicles, or others in our periphery help refine and shape our interactions.  This isn't to say your learning from others turns you into a "yes-man/woman" but rather a more informed and in-tune human.  

Take time to learn from "others" in detailed 
ways and sometimes the 30,000 ft fly-by.

Along the way, we often think we need to commit to whatever we started on.  We often semi-permanently identify with "I'm a _____" as what I do for a living or what I studied back in the day...probably before we learned from a lot of others in life.  Chances are, as you go through life, you'll be exposed to many folks with varying backgrounds that may help shape your next steps and future journey.  In a class several years ago, the person described a company who started making "green circles."  The "others" they learned from were customers, counterparts, and others...over time, this translated into realizing the thing they should make was "blue squares."  They further evolved through learning to make "red triangles."  Now, they're famous for, and have a highly successful "red triangles" business but wouldn't have been able to see that path to success from the beginning...they only got there through learning from others.  

Opportunities to learn from others are 
all around us... every day...when we look.

As we wrap up, I wanted to leave us with a unique thought.  Over the years, I've had quite a few
opportunities to interview others for jobs or volunteer opportunities.  On one panel, the question was "think of something you assume we wouldn't know how to do, and briefly teach us how to do it."  The idea was to see how folks could "read a room," think on their feet, leverage their expertise, and convey information quickly and accurately.  Through the years, we've learned all sorts of stuff, perhaps my favorite was how to use a tuning fork to calibrate a cop car radar gun.  Hopefully, you can reflect on how often you truly "learn" something from someone else...go do that.  

With you in the arena, from ours to yours...Happy Trails!

Call to Action: 

• Pick out three "others" and commit to learning something important from them.  Target these interactions and go make them happen.  
• 1 - ___________________ 
• 2 - ___________________
• 3 - ___________________
• Take a minute to think about who the "others" circle is in your life - are they the people you want them to be?  Who do you aspire to be more like?  Or not...
• Have a family group challenge to see who learned the most interesting thing from an "other" and chat about it at the dinner table tomorrow night.  
• Discussion: Consider what you/your family could/would/should (level of commitment) and start/stop/sustain (action)

Further Reading, Motivation, and References:

- Buddy Brown, The FedEx Guy that Changed the Way I Spend Time with People Forever - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yLoOltwAsjo