Sunshine, Unicorns, and Rainbows - Lessons in the Less Than Ideal

Sunshine, Unicorns, and Rainbows 

Lessons in the Less Than Ideal

Too often in our fast-paced, hyper-screen world, we see what "perfect" looks like surrounding us in our social media, Hollywood big screen, and everywhere else.  We get the airbrushed, "sunshine and rainbows" version that in many cases is not a version of reality that is accessible or realistic.  In the first responder world, we use "management by objective" as a principle, which harkens to the old Covey principle of "begin with the end in mind."  As we're working on our planning in disaster, too often we get those unicorn and rainbows expectations "put it back like it was yesterday and don't spend any money."  For a mayor, that'd be great...in our world, that's not realistic.  We start talking about the idea of a "new normal" and talk through the intentionality that goes with shaping that for the survivors.  

When we look at how this may apply to your family, there are times in life when it doesn't go exactly 

And, some days, everything is perfect. 
Embrace those days.

according to plan.  Sometimes, it doesn't go according to plan at all.  Other times there isn't even a plan.  It's important to take time with your life - proactive, intentional, scheduled, uninterrupted time - to go through and define those perfectly ideal "sunshine, unicorns, and rainbow" desired end states.  As you're defining that, hopefully by section of life, consider how the sections intersect to and either enhance or detract from the other sections.  Also, take a moment to list out a few details about the best case, worst case, and "okay/enough" case in each section.  For example, you might list a $1 zillion dollar bank account as a "Unicorn" level success in finance.  That's likely not a reality and likely would detract from having a family/spouse/kids/hobbies/etc.  

Perhaps, as we start tempering our expectations to align more accurately with reality, we start to see what compromises and opportunity costs (what you could do with the same amount of time/money/resource investment as compared to what you did do with it).  For our finance category, we may define "our less than ideal," but enough benchmark as having the resources to cover all "needed" expenses, some "want" level treats, invest for future retirement, and cover reasonable emergencies.  By working with a spreadsheet for a bit you can put dollar figures to those desired end states and come up with ways to achieve those targets...without compromising (in a major way) the other parts of your Ziglar Wheel of Life.  

Sometimes guardrails make a perfect
vantage point to see some amazing things.

When you go out of your way to define the guard rails, trigger points, or warning signs we can make meaningful changes when we get close to them instead of careening over the edge.  When we identify and monitor the various areas of our life we can help keep them balanced both seasonally and strategically.  In our home, we've had sprint seasons where we'll get an outsized part of our wheel that feels unsustainable.  At other times, we felt more strategically off-kilter.  Either way, it's important to figure out how to get back to our "true north" of "enough" within each sector of life.  When we're in balance, life goes along pretty swimmingly.  Staying in balance requires solid expectation management, shared communications, and coordinated end states as a family.  

In case you didn't know
the Leprechaun
apparently lives
in a storage unit.

Before we depart, it's important to touch base on one of the key components of the "perfect" vs reality discussion...expectation management.  Chances are, most of our disappointments lie in the gap between what we think should be reality and what it actually is.  In today's hyper-screen-filled world, our version of the "Jones Family Next Door" is now anyone in our social media sphere or on the big screen.  We're bombarded with folks who have fancier cars, clothes, toys, and houses than what we have.  With the availability of credit and debt in our modern society, many can live these lavish lifestyles without being able to truly afford them.  As the tycoon, Warren Buffett put it, "you only find out who is swimming naked when the tied goes out."  Many of those so-called peers that you're comparing yourself and your family to are the air-brushed version of a highlight reel and they are swimming naked and hoping the tied doesn't go out (job loss, cut back in hours, increase in the interest rate on a variable rate mortgage, etc) and it all comes crashing down.  

All of this to say, it'd be great (or maybe not...careful what you wish for since there is growth in adversity), if you and yours could sail through life and avoid the various speedbumps along the road.  In reality, you need to cast off the false expectations of having brand new cars, the Barbie doll/GI Joe figure, a McMansion home, and kids straight out of the designer store.  Level setting your expectations, defining the successful "enough" balance by category of your life, and living your best life in this less-than-ideal world is where you'll realize you're blessed beyond measure.  

With you in the arena, from ours to yours...Happy Trails!

Call to Action: 

• Make a list of three areas of your life that you're "frustrated" with and one 1% change for each.
• 1 - ___________________
• 2 - ___________________
• 3 - ___________________
• Sit down with your family and talk about things that you'd like to see...before you get to the revolution level of grouchiness.
• Practice due diligence on thinking through the actions to get to the desired end state...and the unintended consequences of making a revolution.  
  
• Now go practice the pressure relief valve/1% improvement changes that help you evolve along the way to live your best life.  
• Discussion: Consider what you/your family could/would/should (level of commitment) and start/stop/sustain (action)

Further Reading, Motivation, and References:

- 212 Degree Motivational Video - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uRDNLTMaZqo
- Evolution - https://changinghighered.com/evolution-vs-revolution-do-you-know-the-difference/