Faith.

Faith.

God still makes miracles...

Faith can move mountains.  It's an old saying, but when you think about what it is to believe in something bigger than yourself, it should cause you to change your life.  In changing your life...the ripple effects, like in a pond, can spread out in all directions, far more than the input of the proverbial pebble.  When you're out in nature, faith comes pretty easily...you're surrounded by evidence of God's creation.  In our cities, even in our modern, "built" environment, we're surrounded by man's creation, and it's easy to lose track of the majesty and miracle of creation...our faith must be stronger than our sight.  Too often, the further we become separated from our Creator, the further we let our faith slip as well.  Out west, we're pretty spoiled with how much "land" God created...on a recent trip to NYC, the postage-sized piece of grass was held up as "nature."  Find time to go sit under a tree and observe...creation in all that is around you...or run down to the maternity ward and tell me there aren't faithful miracles. 

...You just have to be open to 
accepting them...

When we have true faith...it's transformative, not only in our lives but in the lives of those around us.  Good works don't save...but being saved should cause us to seek and share good works.  A strong, foundational level of faith that we embrace and share is powerful.  This week, Charlie Kirk was killed.  In a recent interview, when asked what one thing he would like to be remembered for..."for courage for my faith."  Of all the ways he could have answered, this is a powerful message of the importance of not only having faith...but more importantly, the courage to share our faith with others around us.  Charlie...you are known, among many things, for your courage in sharing your faith.  Well done, good and faithful servant.

...They're all
around us...

When we share, we become the light in the world around us.  The analogy of a candle in a cave is powerful.  No matter how dark it is, the one spark lights the way.  In our world that seems to be increasingly dark, sometimes we can be the one candle that pushes back on the darkness in someone else's life.  This can be the shout-to-the-rafters-from-the-pulpit or the quieter, where you inject faith into daily life and conversations.  When we live in a way that reflects our faith, it becomes a powerful reminder, or even permission to others that they, too, can live out their faith.  It can also be the on-ramp for someone to begin their own faith journey.  

...And in
our homes...

When we talk about sharing our faith, it starts in our four walls.  Likely the best gift we can give our children is a strong nest at home and an unshakeable foundation.  This comes from (even when it's awkward), expressing our faith in front of our children.  It means working through our self-conscious moments to build habits - like praying as a family.  It can also mean leaning into things like Sunday school, Awana, and other cultivated groups to build community.  When we share our faith, we become the permission slip or inspiration to start a new fire in folks.  Maybe skip out on the flipping of tables at the tabernacle...but have the courage to not skip out on faith as a foundational focus of our family lives.  By prioritizing faith - observing the Sabbath, stopping in at a new church when you're traveling, injecting God into daily conversations, being present in the Word...we remind ourselves and show others how to be faithful.  

...Watch for the good and
and beautiful...

Faith isn't a blind journey of lock, stock, and barrel, taking people at their word.  Having worked on an ambulance, we ran the self-proclaimed re-incarnated Jesus...we took him to a padded room.  How is it I can fully believe in the Bible, but doubt so firmly that Jesus might come back as a homeless guy under a bridge?  Our faith must be firm, and the firmness comes from established roots in the Bible...not what we want it to be or what we think it should say...but what it does say.  In a world where political correctness is rampant and our world seems to have lost...or worse, created confusion through "a thousand new truths," our foundational faith is paramount.  

...the still small voice...

As we look at faith in our life from a practical perspective, there are some things that were done culturally in accordance with the Old Testament that we don't do today...in large part due to the New Testament.  But, in today's day and age, there are many things that we selectively adopt or disregard based on feelings, narratives, political correctness, and whatnot.  With faith, I think it's important to use the WWJD (What Would Jesus Do) sounding board if you're not sure.  Non-believer who is struggling?  Come alongside them.  A person who has a lifestyle you don't agree with...pray for them.  Jesus brought and bought love and unity...do that.  

...and do mighty things
through your faith...

As we put faith into practice, particularly if you're a church leader, I think it's really important to land firmly on the lumper or splitter debate (I vote lumper).  I've had far more interactions with "church folks" running down another church or denomination than non-believers...because, you know...they're different than us.  Like much of life, we figure out how to split a hair and divide our group before we come together for big "Jesus things."  For example, there's a set of back-to-school-bash community events...both put on by big local churches...that don't talk or coordinate the activities.  When we come together...and don't care who gets the credit...my goodness, we can do big things.  

...it starts at home...with
you...with your family.
Amen.

As we wrap up an "all over the place" post this week in the aftermath of tragedy...go practice your faith.  Think about the "what if you only had tomorrow, what you prayed for today" gratitude.  In reflecting on the many blessings that truly surround us, even when there is darkness about, it right-sizes and refocuses us on our foundational faith.  Whether you grew up in faith, were reborn to it, or are on the fence...just like any other muscle, we can grow our faith.  Read the Bible, study The Word, ask questions, go sit in nature...attend a church, a study, a small group.  The important point isn't whether the flag is on the left or right on the stage at church or if communion is intincting or plastic cups...it's whether you're closer to your Creator.  Like a tree...the best time to start praying was yesterday...the second best time is now.  He is risen indeed!

With you in the arena, from ours to yours...Happy Trails!

Call to Action: 

• Pick out a few actions that you can do to model and lead your family closer to each other with God at the center.  Make them practical...carry them out.  
• 1 - ___________________ 
• 2 - ___________________
• 3 - ___________________
• Discussion: Consider what you/your family could/would/should (level of commitment) and start/stop/sustain (action) this week that can be a seed to carry long term in your faith journey.  

Further Reading, Motivation, and References:

- Rest in Peace, Charlie

- Fr. Chris Alar

- A little Tommee Proffitt Motivation

Family Data Science

Family Data Science

Data can help you
keep it in the lines.

It has been said that "what gets measured, gets managed," and data science/data analytics/data is all the rage in so much of the business sector today.  Whether for-profit, non-profit, public sector, you name it, the digital data era is here to stay.  There are countless software programs out there to help your business collect and harvest insights from a myriad of different sources and tell a plethora of stories from various indicators to predictive trends.  It begs the question: Do you leverage data science to help make your family more efficient and effective in how you live your best life?  

Study your data and
your big plan so you
can implement it.

When we work backwards from the catastrophic outcomes in the home - let's say divorce, estranged kids, failure to launch kids, etc - we can then use data to get in front of the common denominators or red flags.  Once we outline the red flags - out-of-touch family, screen addiction, lack of consequences, inefficient budgeting/scheduling, and so forth - we can figure out the measurements.  With modern apps and technology, you can use systems that may flag you before it becomes too late.  For example, leaving a little margin in your checking account or having a notification sent if the balance drops below a certain number can help prevent the money problems that become fights.  Making an "annual" budget helps skip the surprises of one-time things like insurance or taxs.  Putting an alarm for "leave the house" helps avoid the stress and frustration of being perpetually late.    

List out the keepers.

As we unpack the scheduling, for example, we had a family friend recently who had a "manic episode" after getting overcome by events (OBE).  The too-many-good-things...are still too many, caught up with their family.  In the fire service, we'll talk about the OBE phenomenon and how, as the Incident Commander (leader of the crisis situation), you can't get task-saturated and need to keep a strategic eye on the overall situation.  The conversations in our home during this season have really focused on re-evaluating all of our extracurricular activities, determining "why" we're doing them, if we can get to the "why" some other way, and then determining what stays and what goes.  

Only use the
invisible ink
sometimes.

We can plot out the "future" of some activities if we're stuck on a "why" beyond "I want to" or "because so-and-so is playing this year."  I hate to break it to you, but your kids...and ours...aren't going to play professional sports...and...that doesn't mean we shouldn't do kid athletics.  It does mean we should go into that level of commitment with our eyes open - evaluating the cost in terms of time, money, opportunity, and focusing the experience on the outcomes we're after - loss, teamwork, physical fitness, etc.  We've mentioned it before, but on a major disaster, each operational period (typically each evening), the team briefs the leadership on the marching orders plan for the next day.  At the end of it, with everything laid out - the plan, the what-if contingencies, the who's on first, and so forth - the team verbally commits with "I support the plan and accept the risk" and the boss concludes it with "I approve the plan."  This "all-in" knowing the cost is key.  When you take on a new activity or routine expense - have the conversation and understand where/why/how/when it fits in amongst everything else...and make sure it's worth it.  

For several years, the kids'
"cow" went to help with
data analysis. 

Similarly, for folks who are struggling financially, studying where your money is coming and going is an important first step in order to decide where it should be coming from/going to (this could apply to our time, too).  The data science component takes the mystery out of "more month than money" problems at your house.  You can use any system you'd like - paper ledger, spreadsheet, fancy app, etc.  We use a Google Sheets spreadsheet we put together that allows us to view all sorts of insights on how and where our money is going.  We've been doing a monthly review for close to 15 years, where we look at our budget vs actual, talk about upcoming expenses, and just generally check in with each other.  This routine check-in helps us stay on track with our yearly budget plan...and adjust course along the way.  Data analysis, in a certain way, can help be a set of roadsigns or mile markers on your planned journey.  They help you stay on course and/or alert you to exciting new adventurous detours that you can choose to follow.  

Sometimes it
takes some 
effort...but
it pays off.

As we get further into tech integration, freeware tools like Google's Looker Studio (similar to Microsoft BI...without the pricetag) can give you executive boardroom-level insights.  Part of our budgeting over the years has left us with a ledger of almost every transaction we've made (you could also likely download this from your card or bank statement).  Anyhow, with a little setup in the Studio, we've been able to see (for better or worse), just how many dollars we've spent at, say, Walmart.  We can look at when we spend by day, week, month, or season.  We can tease out the habit change that may be needed from $5 here and $5 there that all add up.  We can also forecast toward things like goals and bigger outcomes.  This is, admittedly, nerd level, but the point is...when we measure (and then analyze), we can either make a behavior change or double down on what's working (or not) with intentionality.  

Sometimes it gets messy...
you might need to pack a 
mad scientist water
apron.

For a project at a non-profit where we were struggling with inputs/outputs, we put together an "efficiency" study of sorts, where we had employees and volunteers "bill" (like a 15-minute lawyer increment sort of thing) to get a sense of how time was spent.  Over the course of a week, we harvested out insights that allowed us to make it a more rewarding and productive experience for everyone.  By taking our data, then comparing it to other best practices (time blocking, lumping tasks together, scheduling in things like follow-up/travel time, stand-up meetings, and such), we moved from sluggish to winning.  At home, perhaps a similar study for a week might tell you that a little prep time investment (meal planning, bulk meal cooking, batching errands, time blocking activities on the calendar), life becomes more full of the meaningful things and less of the OBE/mundane that steals your time and intentionality. 

If needed...climb
up your mile 
marker to see more.

As we wrap up, I'll leave with a bit of an interventionist's perspective.  For us, the Looker Studio budget data gave us an eye opener, similar to the Home Alone, "you spent $967 on room service?" where we realized the little stuff can add up bigger than we intend.  For a friend, she realized her triple-screening husband was consuming football (watching, playing, coaching, and fantasy footballing) far more than he was anything else.  After having him agree to the "work time study," when you see the numbers all rolled up, you realize that sometimes you're smack dab in the "too much of a good thing," and after the season passes, likely realize you'd change it if you could go back.  Good news...you can change it.  Better news...you can do it today.  Maybe best news...there are a plethora of tools out there in today's day and age to fully understand the whole picture...and live your best life.  

With you in the arena, from ours to yours...Happy Trails!

Call to Action: 

• Pick out a couple of things that you can measure so you can better manage (time, money, extracurriculars) and then commit to taking an action to better understand under the hood...and make changes if necessary.  
• 1 - ___________________ 
• 2 - ___________________
• 3 - ___________________
• Discussion: Consider what you/your family could/would/should (level of commitment) and start/stop/sustain (action) on what you've been doing...vs...what you say you should be doing.

Further Reading, Motivation, and References:

- Time for Coffee

Kaizen - the 1% You Can Own

Kaizen - the 1% You Can Own

Put one more piece
of mail in the Pony
Express bag.

Last week we talked about making the most of where you are...and making small improvements to your lifestyle or status quo.  Kaizen is from Japan and translates roughly to "change for the better" or "continuous improvement."  It's largely been summarized as small, 1% changes.  The adage of "practice or progress over perfection" and the concept of baby steps can help you break down the big, seemingly insurmountable end states into doable actions.  When you're off, even by a little bit, say 1 degree...for each mile you fly, 1 degree off your heading, you get 92 feet off course each mile.  Ninety-two feet isn't all that bad if you only go a mile...if you go cross country or round the world, you can end up completely lost.  

Flowers are
1%.

When we think about how some of this applies to life, say you've been overspending your budget by $100/month...not the end of the world for six months.  For six years, you're now $7,200 off, to say nothing of the lost opportunity cost of missing out on compound growth or the double whammy if you're paying credit card interest in that same time.  We seldom fall off the proverbial wagon in some grand fashion in any facet of our lives.  More likely, we were off course just a little bit...for a long time, and now we look back from an unrecognizable destination.  Over time, our good...or bad habits can have incredibly powerful ramifications... life-changing consequences for better or worse.  

Cocoa is an
improvement.

The good news, if you've been 1 degree off for a while, you can course correct and double down.  In our budgeting example, you can hit the brakes on the spending while getting a second job or picking up overtime to help close the gap that has developed while working on your habits.  Those habits, for staying power, should look more like 1% improvements.  It's not realistic to say that you'll drop 50 pounds this week if you've been disregarding diet and exercise for the last decade.  It's more doable (and consequently more likely to get done), if you do some 1% changes.  In this example, some 1% changes could include shopping with a grocery list, adding more convenient veggies to the counter top, ditching the donuts, walking around the block, and so forth.  String a few 1% changes together, and you start getting progress and momentum.  

1% snow
removal
crew.

Oftentimes, we do the New Year's Resolutions style major change lip service...and our best intentions tend to fade fairly quickly.  Those small pieces add up - just like the 1 degree from 211 to 212 Fahrenheit harnessed and channeled steam power, which revolutionized the world...1% or 1 degree changes in your life can be impactful.  The idea being that properly applied (time, place, force, etc), our small inputs can generate outsized or force multiplier outputs.  Talk to a racecar driver and they'll tell you that they're putting fairly constant tiny inputs into the steering wheel...not jerking the wheel hardcore...because you'll wipe out.  

A strong future starts
with a strong
foundation...especially
in forts.

As you start out with a few 1%/1 degree inputs or course corrections...and hold them/add to them over time, you'll start to notice a certain snowball type effect where the results begin to compound.  Done right, you'll notice that you leave a linear curve for an exponential one.  The Money Guys on social media talk about how a single dollar invested at age 20 can turn into $88 by the time you're 65.  IN another example, mathematically, if you raise 1.00 to the 365th power, you have 1.00.  If, instead, you raise 1.01 to the 365th power, you end up with 37.8.  Translating that into something practical...if you do 10 pushups a day, or a walk around the block, or save a dollar, or complement your spouse, or...fill in the blank - think of the power you're ahead by the end of the year.  

A river cuts...
just a little at 
a time...but it
adds up.

In looking at this concept of 1% improvements, we're not looking for, nor should we expect perfection on day 1...instead, we're aiming for incremental improvement...better than you were this time last month or last year.  This permission to strive for 1% is like climbing a mountain where you set your eye/goal on that boulder, then that tree, then the next mini milestone and before you know it...you're at the top.  Another reason to prioritize the idea of small improvements is that you can balance the effort and impacts across the different facets of your life.  I could maybe sprint in a particular life lane...at some level to the expense of the others.  The price of "best" in any facet of life likely comes at a cost to the others.  That said, being "good" or "better" is a journey where you can keep life more balanced along the way.  I can be better at work...and still get to watch football practice...without 100-hour days and constant work phone in my hand.  

1% usually
involves a "riv."

As we wrap it up we'll share an example of 1% decision making.  A few years back, when our kids were pretty small we seriously considered moving to a couple states away to a city region with children's musuems, great zoo, and other resources that were priorities in that season.  As we crunched the numbers, we knew that long term, where we were was probably the right spot when the kids are this age and older.  Also, in crunching an apples-to-apples financial snapshot with assuming the same job/house/salary...then looking at insurance, cost-of-living, state taxes, and so forth...it'd cost about $12,000 more per year to do the "same exact life."  Translating that...we could stay where we're at...and spend a $1,000 a month on driving to that city...or whatever else and still be financially breakeven.  

Every little
hour adds
up to be a 
big impact.

In the above example, doing the math helped us really reframe our paradigm...what 1% changes could we make on our end to make our current life better so that we wouldn't even consider a major move?  We could invest some of those dollars in weekend travel.  Some in better outdoor gear for the winter to take the sting out of it.  We could build a treehouse.  Some could go to this or that or the other...the point being, the small upgrades or investments by themselves weren't much.  Like synergy, the combination of small 1% changes combined...we've moved our "happiness score" or whatever you want to call it...maybe "contentment score" upwards.  The salient point here, be careful of throwing the baby out with the bathwater when perhaps a targeted set of 1% changes would've sufficed - scalpel, not chainsaw.

...and a
waterfall.

As we wrap it up, sometimes we see the only option as "scorched earth" or the "nuclear option."  This translates to doing the little preventative maintenance things along the way so you're not considering the big crazy outcomes like divorce, bankruptcy, getting fired, and so forth.  Consider the 1% or 1 degree mini-modifications to life that can be the "cake and eat it too."  

With you in the arena, from ours to yours...Happy Trails!

Call to Action: 

• Pick out a couple minor tweaks that you can implement quickly and easily for a win...go do those this week.  It doesn't have to be expensive or extravagant...just intentional and committed action.
• 1 - ___________________ 
• 2 - ___________________
• 3 - ___________________
• Discussion: Consider what you/your family could/would/should (level of commitment) and start/stop/sustain (action) in the facets of life where you're frustrated - what little change might prevent the need for a big change down the road.  

Further Reading, Motivation, and References:

- Jocko Willink and Tim Kennedy 

- Art of Manliness

It is what you make of it

It Is What You Make of It

A pretty stellar parade...in
a friend's basement.

Most things are what you make of them.  The old adage that the "grass is greener where you water it" often holds true.  I've had a few friends recently who, after being dissatisfied with work, made major changes (left a good job that dozens will apply to fill)...only to realize some of their angst wasn't solved in the overhaul.  Others in my circle, and probably yours, have likely done the same with marriages, churches, school choices, lifestyles, and places where they live...only to realize the same thing.  In one of the cases with a friend looking to change jobs, we talked about how the grass is greener where you put in the time and effort to bring fertilizer, do weeding, set up irrigation, and otherwise steward your resources for growth and excellence.  

The free version can
be magic in the
moment, if you make it.

When we talk about how we make it what it is...the difference is often in our willingness and commitment to lean in.  That can look different in different facets of life...but they all border on our level of commitment and investment we bring to the table.  In marriage, it might be doing date nights and bringing occasional flowers.  In parenting, it could be making an appearance at the football practice across town or doing game nights instead of watching sports on Sunday afternoon.  At work, it could be volunteering for a special project or mentoring a new teammate.  No matter what facet...our small actions add up to bring the spice to life.  

A "say yes"
default is half
the battle.

From a more micro or "tactical" perspective as opposed to big chunks of life, the "it is what you make of it" can be a worldview and ultimately a lifestyle.  In many parts of life, even more so now with the constant comparison-thief-of-joy that is social media, we build up a false expectation of something that can't live up to the reality.  There has been a lot of commentary recently with technology like AI and things like pornography that create false visions of what our significant other should be, do, look like, and so forth.  When we cultivate a false "perfection" in our mind by stitching together this person's car, that person's spouse, the other person's job, the guy down the block's vacation, the girl around the corner's kids...we build a reality that cannot match ours...and an expectation that can only lead to disappointment.  

The small things
are probably really
the big things.

Similarly, if we decide we're going to Disney on vacation, we talk up the figurative and literal cost so high that the experience has to be super.  The reality, without a "it is what you make of it" attitude or paradigm, is probably going to be more centered on the practical reality that it's hot and crowded.  When we create false narratives, our expectations can only get stomped because we build it up, stretch the budget, etc, and without a little help...it doesn't live up to the hype.  If, instead, we approach our worldview and frame our reality with the situation we're blessed with...shiny or not...we can begin to influence it in a positive way by putting out the proverbial water and fertilizer.  

A lot of the 
spice is in the
neighborhood.

When our kids were little, I remember many a wonderful day doing a walk around the block or a trip to the "nothing-spectacular" city park a few blocks away.  With the right servant leadership attitude, you can turn the greenway a few blocks away into a trip down the Amazon River or a cops-and-robbers car chase, or any one of a thousand other memorable imagination adventures.  When we make the most of it - it doesn't have to be the "fireworks finale," but can be just as grand in the eye of the beholder.  When we immersively lean in, we can make things pretty great.  On the flip side of the coin, we can also sink the ship easily with our negativity.  

Simple and serene 
often bring perspective.

We've traveled around the country many times and to many remarkable places.  Some of the most memorable have been the impromptu side-of-the-road stops.  Our family has prioritized travel adventures, and our kids have made it to the continental US 48 states while still toddlers.  Now that their 7 and 8, they've been to most of the national parks as well...many of them several times.  We've been blessed to see many cultures, crown jewels, and the mundane minutiae that come with road trips.  I think some of the high point memories that pop up were, "remember that time we had a pack of hotdogs and marshmallows on a small campfire overlooking the ____."  Or, "remember that time at the Minot, ND zoo when the porcupine looked like he was going to high dive?"  It's very rare that the commentary or memories include, "it would've been good if we'd only done____."  By making the small stuff special stuff, we find blessing and gratitude.  

A grand road
side stop in IA.

We had a friend recently who is working on a "big why" with finance, and in looking for free things to do in the area to cut down on some of their budget expenses, asked for some advice.  We ended up meeting them at a local museum with a weekend full of kid activities - free by the way.  The first comments when we met them there were around (sarcastically), how this space exhibit was just like the big regional museum across the state line...implying a negative connotation in their tone.  From their first negative shaded moments, the whole thing started downhill and only went further from there.  Their "big" why wasn't big enough to overcome some of their expectation bias and lifestyle.  On the flip side, we leaned into the activities (even if they were a bit cheesy, and most weren't).  From there, we walked downtown to the library and ended up sitting in on an impromptu bluegrass jam session with Christmas cookies.  All free and all of that to say, much like the old quote, if we approach something as inherently negative, our perception will discolor the thing to be a negative experience.

Pay attention to and 
cultivate the things 
we say we are...they
become who we 
are over time.

Last food for thought in this space - we often have those polarizing moments that change our lives.  For too many of us, it is some defining point, often a catastrophe, that serves as a BC/AD sort of marker in our lives - loss of a loved one, natural disaster, job loss, etc.  Our choice of "victim" or "survivor" as a label can make the difference in our resilience and future.  If we see ourselves as something...we associate the characteristics of that label and ultimately become a self-fulfilling prophecy.  If you see (and label) yourself (and your loved ones) as ____ (smart, pretty, talented...or dumb, ugly, incapable), we become those things over time.  We have to choose wisely and consistently take habitual action that ensures we're making the most of the things we say we want to make the most of in life.  If you've got those old anchors...cast them off.  If you've created rich, wholesome, good, and beautiful labels...double down on them.  

No improvements
required.

As we wrap up, whether it's better watering the grass that you're standing on by doing new tangible activities or shifting your attitude around your family...you can make the most the proverbial "it" things in your life.  We'll hopefully challenge you to do some introspection when it comes to how you're coming to the different tables in your life.  As it's been said, "Careful what you bring to the table...likely you'll end up eating it."  Best of luck with making the most of the little things in life...and doing the small actions to lean in that make the big things in life most important in your eyes and theirs.  

With you in the arena, from ours to yours...Happy Trails!

Call to Action: 

• Pick out three activities you can do to "lean in" with those in your circle and do them this week.  Then, pick out three things that you can do "attitude-wise" to make the mundane more spectacular.  
• 1 - ___________________ 
• 2 - ___________________
• 3 - ___________________
• Discussion: Consider what you/your family could/would/should (level of commitment) and start/stop/sustain (action) - pick a piece of life and make it a focal point on the "making the most of it" - let's say your next weekend road trip or leaning in at work.  

Further Reading, Motivation, and References:

- Stephen Covey on Paradigms

The Power of Travel

 The Power of Travel

A house built
of bottles gave
lots of creative 
inspriation.

Travel is a pretty wonderful invention, or adventure, or whatever you want to call it.  It allows your family to explore other times, places, cultures, landscapes, and lifestyles.  Whether you're traveling across the street or around the world, travel allows you to right-size and ground-truth your space and size in the world.  In other words, when you get off the screens and go exploring, you realize that in many ways we're more alike than we are different.  You also realize that the differences are a spice of life...this is particularly true if you live in a cookie-cutter suburb or apartment building where everything is pretty similar.  

Beautiful places can bring 
the best in us.  

We've had the good fortune and blessing to spend quite a bit of time exploring around the US as a family.  Before children, my wife and I had made it to all of the lower 48 states and Hawaii.  By the time our youngest was two years old, we'd made it back to all of them at least once more.  Now that they're seven and eight, they haven't slowed down a bit, and we're writing this on a 10-day loop trip through the California coast and national parks.  Whatever the excuses are, they're probably not as valid as you think they are.  At no point in time as a human species, has travel been more convenient, affordable, or accessible.  When you think about our ancestors and the trouble and cost it would've taken to go "see the world" compared to $99 getaway flights from most major airports, we live in a blessed time. 

Building a castle on
the beach with washed
up bricks. 

When we have the chance to travel, we can realize that there are many great adventures to find both close to home and across the map.  Chances are, there are festivals, ethnic restaurants, historic markers...really whatever your passions are within a couple of hours' drive of where you live.  Within a three-day or so drive, chances are there are areas where people do life entirely differently from the way you do.  And a longer road trip or airplane flight, regions where life looks completely foreign.  By going to see some of these things, it helps you (and your kids) realize they're not the center of the universe.  It also helps them realize that they may be far more fortunate than they think they were before the trip.  

Seal watching in 
San Francisco.

Travel can also serve as a teaching point.  By doing research ahead of time, hitting key sites on the trip, and looking up things we visited on the trip, we can help our children learn research methods.  This before/during/after also helps us build anticipation and follow-up excitement so that the trip effectively continues far beyond the actual days on the road.  This teaching/learning not only helps our children, but also helps refresh topics we may have known once and learn new ones.  Travel is also great for facilitating learning conversations with our children.  Around every bend in the road are prompts for questions that can facilitate self-learning...and connection with your kids.  

Seeing a school bus
demolition derby race.

We've had several trips to ancient Native American sites up through the frontier of America.  When you realize those people were the same species as we modern people, it helps us understand that our capacity for hardship, hard work, and resilience is far greater than we often know.  On a recent stop in Death Valley, our quarter-mile hike full of "wow this is hot" type complaints was punctuated with a display about how, for five years, people filled wheelbarrows full of mud to boil out the borax, then 20 mule teams hauled the refined product more than a hundred miles to the railroad.  Talking through that really puts meal delivery and ridesharing in A/C in perspective.  

Becoming a 
miner in NV.

Travel also allows you to target the interests of your family.  This can be both seasonal and based on themes they're specifically interested in.  The seasonal aspect can include within the year - going to see the autumn colors in the mountains or the northeast...or it can be the "toddler-season" with kid's musuems and whatnot.  With road trips, you can also target the specific interests of your family.  One of our kids is pretty into space...we've detoured over the years to hit the Houston Space Center, Huntsville Space Center, Florida Space Coast, and other sites around the country to help keep the dream alive.  Using tools like Google My Maps to plot key points of interest, then chart a course maximizing your time between them have never been easier.  

Fishing in NE
and exploring
new species. 

As we wrap up the week - remember that travel is more affordable, accessible, and available than any time before in history.  It can be as challenging or costly as you want - 5 star resort hotel or camping along the way.  Also, remember the benefits of travel are pretty robust in both the short and long term.  We hope that you will embrace travel in the coming seasons of life.  When you get past the challenges or frustrations...and, as a person on an airplane told us back in the day, "pack an extra portion of patience" and hit the road.  

With you in the arena, from ours to yours...Happy Trails!

Call to Action: 

• Pick out a few get-started style trips that you can take in the next month.  They could be local or regional...but the point is to do something you wouldn't have otherwise done.  
• 1 - ___________________ 
• 2 - ___________________
• 3 - ___________________
• Discussion: Consider what you/your family could/would/should (level of commitment) and start/stop/sustain (action) in terms of traveling.  This is the time for conversation on what your style and future lifestyle of travel could/would/should look like.  

Further Reading, Motivation, and References:

- Google My Maps - https://mymaps.google.com/ 

- There are a ton of travel blogs out there - pick your favorites.  https://www.emilymkrause.com/ 

Disaster's Donut Hole

Disaster's Donut Hole

Understand what can hit you.

Following up from the last couple of weeks, we wanted to talk a little bit about the idea of the "donut hole of disaster," or where many folks unfortunately fall through in community-level disasters.  This post is a cautionary tale to make sure that you have a robust personal preparedness plan...that is adequately backstopped with appropriate insurance products.  When you have a "single family disaster" (home fire, heart attack, job loss, etc), the reliance for recovery is largely on you, your insurance company, and those in your immediate circle (church, relatives, friends, neighbors, etc).  Typically, the recovery from these sorts of incidents is fairly straightforward, particularly since you're not competing with other builders, lack of temporary housing, community-level clean-up, or much in the way of bureaucracy.  You utilize your insurance products and work through the steps of recovery.  

Practice ahead of
time.

In the mega disasters, there are typically many partners that show up in the "media interest phase" - FEMA, state agencies, local first responders, VOAD (Voluntary Organizations Active in Disasters - think faith-based and non-profit groups).  At some point, these people ride off into the sunset...and your recovery to a "new normal" continues.  In the early phases of the incident, your main focus is the immediate life safety items like Maslow's Hierarchy - connecting with loved ones, getting a roof over your head, addressing medical/food/water needs, and so forth.  In this phase, hopefully, you've got an emergency fund and/or a plan, e.g., "we'll drive to grandma's house and bring all of our food."  Also, in this phase, time is of the essence, and getting away from the hazard/avoiding it through evacuation is usually the ideal move.  

Build a team that works
together.

Note: even if FEMA assistance arrives (which is no guarantee - there are a series of "if" gates that all have to swing in your/the disaster's favor), the assistance comes in the form of low-interest loans and limited financial assistance.  Additionally, if you're un-(or under) insured and do have a catastrophic loss...you still owe your mortgage.  In many cases, your insurance payoff makes the bank "whole," not necessarily buys you a new house.  It's also important to remember that with housing appreciation, you can fairly quickly and easily get behind and become "under" insured.  It's important to periodically check back in with your insurance company to ensure your coverage matches your home replacement cost.  Lastly, there are disasters that are often not included in your insurance coverage - the main ones are flood, earthquake, and terrorism.  This means you need a separate, specific rider on your policy.  

Have a backup plan.

As you're thinking through the disasters that could hit your community, it's important to pick a solid insurance company.  There are horror stories in disaster recovery of a deep bureaucracy and a ton of finger-pointing in a mess of resources that you have to navigate.  In an ideal situation, you'll have an insurance company that is responsive and coverage that not only helps with your rebuild...but also your living situation (e.g., hotels, rental, etc) while you're rebuilding.  For many large-scale disasters...plan on months (or even years) before your house is put back.  This means that you need to have thought through what you'll do if the "big show" becomes a home game...before you're on the proverbial field.  

Make the most of the 
crisis situation

In many of the big disaster situations in recent years (Marshal Fire, Paradise Fire, Lahaina Fire, Malibu Fire(s)), the competition between builders, permitting processes, wide-scale clean up, and other factors have significantly slowed down the recovery and rebuild processes.  The families involved still have to think through things like where they work, where their kids go to school, what the community looks like, church, etc, when they may be displaced miles of commute from where life was pre-disaster.  Part of the solution to this problem...should you become impacted...is having a solid support structure and community that wraps around you and your loved ones.  

Keep your eye on 
the horizon.

If the disaster isn't so widespread as to necessitate FEMA assistance (think the small neighborhood flood or small tornado), the patchwork of state recovery programs is pretty varied.  Some states have an Individual Assistance (IA) type program, similar to FEMA.  Others (most others), there are well wishes, technical assistance, and not much else.  In those cases, the donut hole, you're left to your own experience in navigating the clean-up and recovery/rebuild processes.  There are documents like FEMA's EEFAK, the American Red Cross suite of products, and others that can help set you up for success before a disaster.  But...the main point...have adequate insurance that is from a company that isn't necessarily the cheapest...but has a reputation for leaning in to help out their customers.  And...build your community.  Lean into the neighborhood, volunteer at your church, and so forth, so that if and when a disaster strikes, you're not solo but rather can lean in when you (and those in your tribe) need it most.  As we depart, you're trying to avoid the "that sucks to be you...hope you had insurance" when disaster strikes.  Take time to plan ahead today. 

What are some donut holes that are in your family?  In life?  Places where rules let the middle fall through? 

With you in the arena, from ours to yours...Happy Trails!

Call to Action: 

• Pick out three things that you can do this week...and do them - call your insurance to ensure it's adequate, write out the phone numbers you'd need in an emergency, etc.  
• 1 - ___________________ 
• 2 - ___________________
• 3 - ___________________
• Discussion: Consider what you/your family could/would/should (level of commitment) and start/stop/sustain (action) in terms of your disaster preparedness...after you watch some of Peter's incredible content (below) and his whole channel in general, incredible storyteller and channel!

Further Reading, Motivation, and References:

- Peter Santenello - Hurricane Helene Recovery

- Peter Santenello - LA Fires

- Peter Santenello - Lahaina Fires

When It Goes Sideways - Part II

When It Goes Sideways...

Practice digging
for when you
need it.

This week, we'll continue on our journey about when it goes sideways, but move beyond the philosophical to the more practical aspects of getting prepared ahead of time and going through the situation with more grace, compassion, and resilience on the other side.  The ability to bounce back is a practiced art.  It combines some of the practical steps that we will talk about, coupled with the way of life, and more theoretical ideas from last week.  Good news is...like any muscle, over time, and with intention... you can build your resilience. 

Watch out for
the electric
fences.

From a more practical, nuts-and-bolts perspective, it's important to have adequate insurance and paperwork put together as a "parachute" or "fire shelter."  We're able to do life more fully when we know we've got the trampoline under the tightrope, so to speak.  So far as paperwork is concerned, it's important, no matter how young, healthy, your plans, and so forth, to have end-of-life documents in order.  A last will and testament, guardianship paperwork, living wills, legal/medical power of attorney, trust, and so forth.  It sounds silly but the tragedy of early and untimely death is a mountain to climb...it's worse if you didn't have paperwork put together ahead of time.  For most young folks, you can get by with a few of the above documents, often for free online.  As your life ages and your situation becomes more complicated, consider legal advice and additional forms.  

Sometimes healing
is around a 
campfire.

The other practical piece we were mentioning is insurance.  I don't know how many apartment fires I went to where, for the cost of a pizza a month, the folks did not have renters' insurance and now were facing the fact that all of their stuff was ruined...and no one was coming to help.  There are a variety of insurance products out there...and, like I've believed, fishing lures at the store are more for catching fishermen than fish (e.g. sales gimmicks), many insurance products are gimmicky.  That said, a few are absolutely critical in my experience, having spent nearly two decades responding to people's worst days.  Health insurance...for sure.  Car insurance...for sure - get choosy with deductibles, coverage amounts, and so forth...you can get upsold easily here.  Term life insurance...for sure - beyond that, watch out for gimmicky.  Others, like umbrella or identity theft, may be right for your situation, but choose carefully after some due diligence.  Many insurance folks will sell you what makes a commission...not what you necessarily need.  

Bring an umbrella...bit
enough to share if needed.

Emergency/rainy day/life happens fund - this is another of our practical steps, like a parachute that makes it easier to weather storms.   One common denominator to most disasters is that it has a financial cost to it...sometimes a big one.  I understand how hard life can be when you frequently have more money than month.  In those days or seasons, it's hard to think about the margin and peace of mind that comes with having a little money set aside.  Dave Ramsey's Baby Steps start with $1,000 starter fund and ultimately grow to 3-6 months of living expenses.  When you're facing a crisis, the last thing you want to worry about is if you have enough money in your savings account to help get through the immediate moments without having to think about it too much.  If you're struggling with finances, get in the habit of setting back a little bit until you can set back a lot.  

Sometimes...you just need
to wade in and wear it
dry later.  

In some cases, we can avoid or mitigate the consequences of a bad thing by getting out in front of it.  We know that many divorces are caused by financial issues.  We also know that many financial situations are compounded by the lack of a plan or budget.  Therefore, we can protect our marriage by having a monthly budget and financial conversations.  The this-then-that thinking can hopefully help us avoid the bad situation in its entirety.  If I don't eat a pack of cookies every day, my risk of a heart attack goes down.  Similarly, we can "mitigate" or reduce the consequences when something does happen.  By having life insurance, my untimely death (hopefully from the cookies), will be easier for my wife to deal with when she doesn't get the double whammy of me gone...and having to go back to work tomorrow to keep food on the table.  

Learning from your mistakes...
can help you not get lost...
or at least as lost next time.

The last of our practical steps are plans/checklists and After Action Review-Improvement Plans (AAR-IP).  Plans and checklists are forward-looking, while an AAR is looking backwards...with the associated IP part gets us back around the corner to looking ahead.  In a practical family example, let's say you have an unexpected job loss.  A checklist (likely can be found online for rip off and replicate) may include steps like cleaning out the office, updating the resume, applying for unemployment, poking network connections, cutting back the spending budget, and putting out job applications.  The "job loss checklist" can be as detailed or sparse as you like - knowing that it won't address every eventuality or be 100% applicable to the situation in the moment...but it will guide those initial actions when you're in the shock of the moment. 

Trial-and-error 
works...but you can 
learn from others, too.

Shifting gears to the AAR-IP component, it's important to spend some introspective time reflecting on the root causes of our crisis and what we'll do differently next time.  Say you go through a bankruptcy (worst case, so scale back your financial emergency to fit you and apply the principles to your situation), an AAR might include the things that led you to the situation...and what you'll do differently next time.  The reason we look carefully in hindsight at these is that no two situations are identical.  One bankruptcy might be brought on by swiping the credit card for far more than you can pay off every month...another might be from a medical emergency.  Those two situations obviously call for different ways forward to avoid the problem next time.  In one situation, we can change our habits, increase our income, and so forth.  On the other hand, we likely can't avoid the uninsured driver who ran the red light or the big "c-word" diagnosis that required treatment.  

Sometimes, we should 
learn from others...
other times...others 
can learn from us.

If you want to take the AAR-IP concept a step further, you can apply the principles in a conversation with your loved ones about a similar situation in someone else's life.  We recently had one of those "have everything put together" peer couples implode with him moving out, a very public speech at church, and ultimately a divorce...which required them to sell their home.  The very put-together persona shattered shockingly quickly (from the outside looking in) and rippled through their entire life/lifestyle.  In unpacking the situation a bit around our table, we were able to tease out some of the warning signs and slippery slopes that we could re-double down on in our lives to avoid more carefully moving forward.  This look at others can also hopefully help us be more empathetic, top-of-mind prayer requests for others, and build up a community that is struggling because we're looking for those who could use an arm around the shoulders.  

Do life with a tribe...
we were built to 
not run solo.

As we wrap up this part, one more tip would be to utilize the community.  This could be friends, relatives, church contacts, neighbors, co-workers, and others in your circle.  The idea that "you're doing life together" is an important practical step.  One of you struggling...the others bring meals, watch the kids, move the piano, and so forth.  With our modern busy schedules and service economy, rarely do we practice just leaning in with others...and letting them lean in with us.  It is hard to "turn on community" in a crisis if you haven't done the relationship-building work ahead of time, sometimes over years.  Invite people over for game night, host a BBQ, and say "yes" to the church volunteer commitment.  Be intentional and proactive about "putting capital in the relationship bank" so that if/when you or someone in the "tribe" needs it, you can make withdrawals.  

It sucks that bad things happen...for some, we can prevent them or lessen their consequences, for others, we can make it through as best as possible.  Hopefully, between the last two weeks, you've gotten some ideas on the theory and the "to-do" list for being ready before, during, and after the crisis.  As you go through life, keep your family close, build your community, have good insurance...and live your best life...ready to go over the speedbumps and past the hurdles.  

With you in the arena, from ours to yours...Happy Trails!

Call to Action: 

• Pick out three things you're going to check on or do this week - add/confirm insurance, study a bad situation, etc...and go take action.  
• 1 - ___________________ 
• 2 - ___________________
• 3 - ___________________
• Discussion: Consider what you/your family could/would/should (level of commitment) and start/stop/sustain (action) as it relates to being ready for a bad day.  

Further Reading, Motivation, and References:

- Teddy Roosevelt on The Strenuous Life