Number 100

 Number 100

100 posts of great
sunsets.

Welcome to Blog Post Number 100!  We've talked before that the journey of 10, 100, 1,000, 10,000, 100,000, or 1,000,000 steps/dollars/miles/days/pages/etc starts after you make it past the 1st one.  This post represents the next milestone after the 1st, 10th, and now the 100th week in a row.  Over that time, I've enjoyed and learned much in the research and the practice of writing the posts.  The reflection and introspection that has come with 100 posts hopefully has helped you and your family grow closer to each other...and your life closer to the best life.  

And
holidays.

Throughout the two years that the 100 posts represent, we've hopefully held up our end of the bargain of representing the ideals of Teddy Roosevelt's "Standing In The Arena."  While these posts haven't been necessarily written for you, but perhaps more to help us clarify and sharpen our marriage and parenting skills and habits.  Along the way, hopefully, the posts have caused you to think, dig deeper, and become a stronger family as well.  As we continue the journey, we'll continue to work on...and hopefully, you will too...the leaning in with habits and actions necessary to take the baby steps to march toward being a better version of yourself in the roles of spouse and parent.  From there, hopefully, that same "better" in those parts of life can cascade to other parts of your life as well.  

And lakes.

These first 100 posts have covered a range of topics within the buckets of or lanes of life on Zig Ziglar's original Wheel.  In discussing the topics of family through the lenses of physical, financial, spiritual, personal, mental, career, and family...with topics around planning, protection, and a litany of others, hopefully, you've found ones that are inspiring, motivating, or otherwise resonate with you and yours.  The trends of planning, proactivity, just-starting, priorities, and others have made our family more intentional and we've become more of who God has called us to be over the last few years.  I think we've made different decisions than we might have otherwise done so, not because of the writing, but because of the conversations as a family in and around the writing.  It has focused and hopefully directed us...and you.  

And shovels...lots
of shovels.

The writing of these has taught us or perhaps reminded us in that "top of mind" way that we should work on this or that.  Like some old study had said, those parents who simply have parenting books scattered around the house are better parents.  Those of us who are reading/writing content about being better family members are likely taking action steps, subtle or overt, to be better spouses and parents.  As we move forward for the next 100, hopefully, the topics continue to make you think...and hopefully keep you inspired to take the actions necessary to live the life you've been called to live.  

And walks.

I wasn't sure in starting out that I'd make it to 2 posts, 5, or even 10...but once I was there...getting to 100 wasn't terribly surprising.  The routine one-foot-in-front-of-the-other habitual that led to 100 posts is the same set of "muscles" that leads to becoming a 100-aire, 1,000-aire, or millionaire.  They're the same skills that your family needs to raise awesome kids.  Any of the "marathon" type activities in your life require the stamina and habits that become ways of life as opposed to the "sprint" session that probably any of us can do once...but then abandon afterward.  In writing these articles..., the secret is that most big, worthwhile things in life are in the marathon, not the sprint category.  

And beaches.

In thinking about what I might have wanted this to be at the outset, I'm not sure it's what I'm glad it is now.  In other words, over the last two years, this has been almost a journal of sorts or a chronicling of the things we've been thinking about and working on as a family.  It's also hopefully serving as a letter to our children that they can consider reading when they're older.  With life being unpredictable and sometimes too short, this record will be something that our boys can look back on as a sort of "how-to" chapters that we've found helpful in life and that they might as well.  

Lots of beaches.

This post has been pretty full of the word "hopefully" and while we hope that you have learned something along the way...we perhaps hope more that you've been challenged and inspired.  There are a ton of resources out there for the "learning" or "how-to" out there from so many different sources.  In today's busy life, however, there may be a shortage of motivation at the forefront...and translating the ideas out there into useful actions.  As you move forward, feel free to use the keyword searches to find the posts that might be what you're looking for.  Feel free to let us know if there are topics on your heart or mind that you'd like to explore, as well.  

But mostly memories.

As we depart from the 100th post, we're looking forward to the next 100...and perhaps the next 1,000.  We're also looking forward to expanding a few of the key topics into longer-form writing pieces.  The seasons of life ahead as our children get older will hopefully allow for continued writing and sharing of some ideas on life that have worked for us.  As we grow...and hopefully you and your family grow over the time the next 100 posts represent, you're growing stronger, closer to each other, and closer to the family you desire to become.  

With you in the arena, from ours to yours...Happy Trails!

Call to Action: 

• Pick out a couple of actions that you've found helpful in the last few years...and do a check-in with your family on how they are doing.  
• 1 - ___________________ 
• 2 - ___________________
• 3 - ___________________
• Discussion: Consider what you/your family could/would/should (level of commitment) and start/stop/sustain (action) in terms of what you've hopefully learned from us over the years.  

Further Reading, Motivation, and References:

- The first 100...

The Enemies of Done...

The Enemies of Done...

You have to 
take the first 
step to take 
the last one.

"Done" as a desired end state is typically the endzone of most projects whether at home, the office, or any other arena of life.  For so many projects on the to-do list, stuff gets in the way, in certain seasons of life, maybe lots of things get in the way.  The Money Guys describe the season of life where we're making a family and raising kids "the messy middle" for a reason.  Too often we let the enemies of done get in our way and we stagnate or rust out.  It's important to keep going, to get closer to done, and to cross the finish lines - large and small - throughout our lives.  Without "done" in our lives, we never get to move on to the next projects...and without moving on, we never grow...we never reach our full potential and live our best lives.   

Getting sidetracked is great...
but doesn't help you get done.

Over the years I've found that the first enemy of done, perhaps one of the biggest "stoppiest" enemies of done is the lack of starting.  Starting is, or can often be, a scary proposition that stalls us out.  When we fail to start, we can't help but fail to eventually get done.  There are many reasons we don't start, many reasons we convince ourselves we're incapable or the "done" is too far away that the effort required isn't worth giving...so starting isn't worth starting.  In Zach Williams's song, Fear Is a Liar, we learn that the fear of starting that holds us back is usually artificial and that one-step-in-front-of-the-other baby step progress is initiated with a single step.  Repeat that over and over...and we get done.

Keep going in
the race.

Another enemy to done is not knowing (or thinking we don't know) every step on the pathway to the "done" stage.  This can often get us stuck in analysis paralysis where we stagnate and stall out.  Seldom do we need to process map out every step of the potential journey to be successful.  Rather, we likely need to have a solidly defined "desired end state" and know the next step or two that lead us closer to that place.  For example, with schooling our children...we don't have to (and shouldn't) pick out their college major, high school prom date, and first car while they're in kindergarten.  Instead, we should define that we want them to be responsible, capable, kind adults...end state.  Then we can pick out the next few activities - learn to read, write, do math...and learn social skills.  Those next steps lead us to the next, next steps or "tomorrow's tomorrow" as our youngest puts it.  

Put in all the
ingredients.

Another major roadblock on the road to done is the "good and perfect" as enemies of done.  I know I'm often guilty of "if it isn't perfect...it isn't done" and therefore don't get done.  This blog, as an example, sat on the shelf for years because I hadn't worked out the perfect strategy for marketing or capitalizing on SEO optimization, color schemes, or whatever else.  Turns out, this has served as a creative outlet and stress reliever.  It also likely will serve as a "love letter" to our children as they get older with my thoughts on how they could/should/perhaps would do life later.  This isn't an effort for only you, dear reader...it's probably equal parts for me...and if you benefit from it...all the better.  In other words, if I'd have waited to get everything perfect for the proverbial you...I'd never have gotten "done" with the first article...let alone, at the end of this article...the 99th one.  

Recruit your infant brother
to help get the fence done.

We can often let complexity be an enemy of done.  Our world sometimes tells us that if we don't have complexity in our system, it likely isn't good enough.  As it were, simplicity and complexity often run as parallel lines.  We should strive for something that is complex enough to be comprehensive, yet simple enough to be executable.  In our family lives, chances are the doing of the "basics" will get us a long way down the racetrack of life.  If we fall into the temptation of overcomplicating (schedule, get-rich-quick, optimize our junior baseball players, etc), we'll often miss the forest for the proverbial trees...or...we'll get to the other side of this child-rearing season of life only to realize we missed it.  Live your basic life...but make it a bedazzled basic life, as The Money Guys say.  

Watch out for the 
old red coat enemies.

Texas A&M TEEX is a first responder-focused education arm and they've got a "thin red slice" concept in some of their curriculum.  They describe the idea of information in terms of what we know, what we know we don't know, and what we don't know we don't know.  The idea is that we need enough information, or a threshold of information, to take action.  In getting to done, we have to be able to make decisions.  In life, having enough information to make those decisions in a timely and confident manner can be challenging.  In our family life, let's say "retirement is a done" end state...in some cases, we know we don't know enough about, say investing.  We can remedy that with research, learning, etc.  There will be things we don't know we don't know that we'll stumble into along the way.  The point here is, that we have to have the confidence that we'll be able to learn it as we go...so that we set off.  If we never invested because we didn't know something...guess what...we'll probably never be "done" and be able to retire.  

You're the 
one.

Failure is another enemy of done.  Chances are, most failures in life aren't final or fatal...unless you choose for them to be.  When done right, failure can be a powerful learning tool and springboard motivator to launch ourselves forward.  People have talked about failing fast, failing forward, failing early...so that we can adapt, evolve, and course correct.  As we set out with our family lives, take the risks early, figure out the failure points in parenting, marriage, and so forth in small doses so that you learn how to avoid the pitfalls...and learn to get back up.  For too many along the way, the first bump in the road and we throw in the towel...we allow...choose...failure to be final.  Think about marriage - too often we choose to allow a small failure to turn into a divorce.  We won't get to the "death do us part" done phase of marriage if we allow failure along the way to derail us.  

Race fast.

As we pack it up for the week...I think it is important to remind you...and me...that time is moving on with...or without us.  Our children will grow old and independent whether or not we're "done" getting them ready for adulthood.  As we say in fire and EMS, "all bleeding stops, and all fires go out...eventually."  Our job is to try to stop the bleeding and put out the fires on our terms.  In family life, "done" will eventually happen to all of us...our decisions and actions just allow us to get "done" on our terms.  When you look back from hopefully a life well lived decades from now, it will be important to be able to say "Well done, good and faithful servant, your time on earth is done" and not be wishing or regretting you'd done it differently.  

With you in the arena, from ours to yours...Happy Trails!

Call to Action: 

• Pick out a couple of facets of life or big rocks in life that you have a "done" end state in mind.  List out three things you'll do this week to get closer to "done."  Be thinking about what you'll do next when you're done...you've got a great big, beautiful life ahead of you...choose your next adventure wisely.  
• 1 - ___________________ 
• 2 - ___________________
• 3 - ___________________
• Discussion: Consider what you/your family could/would/should (level of commitment) and start/stop/sustain (action) should do to get closer to done...and move on.  

Further Reading, Motivation, and References:

- Fear is a Liar

- Time Marches On 

Shoulders of Giants

Shoulders of Giants

Sometimes you
need shoulders
to reach a nut.

We don't have to (and shouldn't) avoid learning from others' mistakes.  As humans, part of our "evolution" is that we're wiser (hopefully) than our younger selves and in large part because of those that we look toward who have come before us.  When we think about family matters, we can (and should) seek out those who are in the next chapters of their lives and are winning.  As Dave Ramsey says, "If you want to be skinny, do what the skinny people do, if you want to be rich, do what the rich people do."  He goes on to say that you shouldn't be taking your financial advice from your broke uncle or your fitness pointers from the guy who looks like a bag of donuts.  We need to seek out those giants around us and see how they do life...and then implement those things.  

Watch out 
for giants.

When we talk about giants and standing on their shoulders, Pastor Andy Stanley comes to mind.  When we were seriously dating through our early marriage years, we listened to some of his online sermons, read several of his books, and actually went to Atlanta to see him preach.  One of his main dating advice tag lines was to "be the person you're looking for is looking for."  In other words, if you do not want to find a partner who is hitting the bars and sleeping around...don't be the person hitting the bars and sleeping around.  If you want to be the person, and eventual couple/family who puts God first...find couples who are doing that and emulate them.  

Shoulders can see Vegas.

From a financial perspective, author Thomas Corley talks about his Rich Habits in his books and online presence.  Similar to The Millionaire Next Door, Cooley talks about who those are who are winning big with money and the how/what/when/where/why they got there.  If you want to be successful in that arena in life, look at what they're doing, learn from their successes and failures...and skip to the front of the line.  In short, the "earn more, spend less, invest the difference" mantra has lots of examples of how giants are doing it...and you can do those things without some of the hard-earned lessons that slowed down those before you.    

Double 
shoulders.

In today's day and age, there is no shortage of information out there on "how" to be successful in finances...or any other facet of life.  Our challenge becomes how to distill those lessons, synthesize them, and avoid the overwhelming "too much information" problem.  If it were simply a "read it" solution, we'd all be skinny, rich, and winning at every facet of life.  The idea of finding those giants ahead of you and teasing out the nuggets is the important part as we seek to operationalize their advice and truly stand on their shoulders.  Instead of trying to live someone else's life, we should take our life, combined with the nuggets to make small, perhaps 1% improvements that move us closer to our "best life."  

Mom shoulders.

We should seek out those giants specifically for what we need in our lives for those upcoming chapters of our lives.  We should also use the complement of one-to-one and one-to-many giants.  There are certain things we can learn from the celebrity influencer types - Tony Robbins, Dave Ramsey, Zig Ziglar, Andy Stanley - whoever those people are that you admire and look up to in your space.  We also need those more intimate "mentor" types who we can learn from and bounce our ideas off of/course correct along the way.  These could be those older/wiser co-workers, church family, grandparents, in-laws, business connections, or whatnot in your circle.  

Double-decker
shoulders.

As you go through life, it's often said that "true mastery comes through teaching" and you have a responsibility of sorts to "pay it back."  We've got a freelance work gig that was a sort of happy accident, a Swiss cheese tunnel aligned that would be hard to duplicate again.  In happening into the opportunity over a decade or so, I've learned lessons that, while they don't duplicate my path or process, significantly fast-track those behind me along their parallel journey.  I've tried to share my "giant" perspective in this manner with those coming up behind me to help them avoid the pitfalls, take the shortcuts, and generally get closer to this particular opportunity quicker based on my lessons.  

As we depart, take a minute to think about the areas of your life where you should seek out a giant or become a giant to those in your circle.  In the different facets of life, consider the parts where you feel your family is lacking...or excelling.  Also, think about what you could do to stand (or be a stand)...the "how" of sharing or learning.  It could be a 1-on-1 interaction or a more 1-to-many with a small group, blog, content creation, or something else.  After you've learned from other giants...be the giant to others in your circle.  Best of luck...and enjoy!

With you in the arena, from ours to yours...Happy Trails!

Call to Action: 

• Pick out a few items that you'll commit to finding...or being a help to someone with.  List out three things that you'll do this week to get closer to mastery.  
• 1 - ___________________ 
• 2 - ___________________
• 3 - ___________________
• Discussion: Consider what you/your family could/would/should (level of commitment) and start/stop/sustain (action) to make real or operationalize this giantness.  

Further Reading, Motivation, and References:

- "If I have seen further, it is by standing on the shoulders of giants."  Sir Issac Newton, 1675.