Hand Me Down Genes
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| Go see yesteryear. |
Garret Hedlund,
River, Again talks about the generations that come and go. Think about your grandparents (if you were lucky), or great grandparents (if you were really lucky), and the time you had with them. Garrett talks in his song about "if we were the same age, we'd be pretty good friends." Now, fast forward to your role as a parent. Our world these days is much less intergenerational than perhaps ever before in time. It used to be that the village elders raised the kids while the able-bodied cohort was out providing (food, firewood, etc). As we've "progressed," so to speak, we've outsourced so much of the village - daycares, grocery stores, HVAC, and utility companies. We've "diminished" the need for...and consequently, in large part, the purpose of our elders. In parts of the world, families still live in multi-generational living situations...in much of America, not so much. As we put our elders increasingly into elder living camps - Margaritaville, the Villages, or your local retirement home/nursing home/etc, I think we're probably losing some special connection that our lives were intended to have.
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Seeing struggle of
those before matters. |
Similarly, we're getting further from the days and geographies of all of us living near the "family farm" where you could have generations that all stayed in the proverbial valley. I know quite a few folks in our circle that did not grow up here in our capital city...they're (including us..."from somewhere else"). I also know quite a few folks in our circle who have recently retired and moved out of state...almost the next day. With modern technology, we're more able to do so, more easily and affordably than perhaps any time in human history. Just because we can...doesn't necessarily mean we should.
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See what others
were able to do. |
When we move cross-country, or even cross-region, often, "to the big city," we're slipping further and further from our roots. My ancestors, at least a few generations back, were farmers, connected to the land and working with their hands, toiling in the dirt to cut out a life for their family. My parents' generation (aunts, uncles, etc) largely didn't end up doing much of anything with farming, except one uncle. I had the chance, through junior high and high school, to work for a local farmer in our rural area. My parents have since moved into another town out of state, and our family makes our home in the traditional "suburban" digs like much of modern American life.
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| Walk where they walked. |
I wouldn't trade some of the lessons learned and skills developed growing up...but I'm not sure I can recreate it in any meaningful way for our children. Even my experience "doing the same thing" as my grandparents would be hardly recognizable with the technology that has modernized the profession. He wore literal goggles to keep the dirt out of his eyes. I sat in an air-conditioned cab and pushed on a joystick. Still, as we talk about lineage and connection to ancestors, we have to be very proactive and intentional to build connections to the "good old days" for our children.
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See what they
built. |
When was the last time you figured out how to watch the old VHS recording from when you were small to show your children what Grandpa and Grandma looked like back then? How about driving back past their old stomping grounds? How about telling the stories that they'd told you? By letting these "boring" things slip away and fade to black, we lose them altogether. I get it, I really do, we're busy today, overcome by events. We have a schedule that is constantly pushing us to do more with seemingly less time. In falling into this siren song, we turn our ancestors' legacy into a set of DNA markers...not necessarily character markers.
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| Learn how they lived. |
Perhaps worse yet, we lose sight of their sacrifice, the hardness of their lives, the overcoming nature of your lineage, the heritage of adaptation that conspired to plant you on your cushy suburban couch. I think losing this touch to the "old times" removes the perspective and right-sizing of our modern struggles. In other words, when we stand our modern angst against itself or our peers, it seems monumental. When we put it beside our great grandparents who struggled to put food on the table for their children while living in a 1-bedroom shack, uphill in the snow both ways, so to speak, our modern worries pale in comparison. Seeing and appreciating their sacrifices and contributions, hopefully, helps us realize what truly matters in our modern world.
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Talk about them when
you're doing life. |
Growing up, we had a great aunt and uncle, John and Eva. I'm not even sure what the real relationship was, but they were those "old people" when I was a kid. In the stories that have been told about them, they didn't have two nickels to rub together, but in their shared lot in life, they found true joy in a shared ice cream cone from Dairy Queen. Perhaps an embodiment of "contentment as wanting what we have." Their peaceful spirit of...true contentment...is something lost on our modern world. Now, we're racing between two jobs to get the biggest screen with the newest attachments...but so busy we never get to truly just snuggle up with our loved ones and be in the moment.
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Experience the time
long ago. |
We call modern technology a convenience. It certainly is that. I'm not certain, not even close to convinced, in fact, that it's truly progress. Much like the old story of the American tycoon on vacation in Mexico who tells the humble fisherman that if he toils his adult life, he could scale his business and after twenty years could sit on the beach and fish all day. The American, missing the point, that the Mexican fisherman...is sitting on the beach, fishing all day. As we increasingly forget to appreciate the "hand me down genes" and all the life experience, lessons, and perspectives that go with that, I think we're, in many ways, like that American tycoon who sorely misses the forest for the trees.
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Cherish the
memories. |
As we wrap up and go about our way this week, perhaps the call to action or the takeaway is to slow down where you can. Go call your grandparents (if you're fortunate enough to still have them around), or better yet, go visit them to just sit and talk...with your kids. If they're not still around, consider going to your local nursing home...trick-or-treat there, go caroling there...get an opening...then go back...to just talk. I know it sounds awkward and "boring" (que the teenager eye roll here), but when those "genes" are gone...so too, gone are the stories and the lessons that help right-size our modern trials and tribulations. That "Greatest Generation" that came and has largely gone can give us so much perspective to meet our modern challenges...but we just have to be patient and willing to listen.
With you in the arena, from ours to yours...Happy Trails!
Call to Action:
- Pick out a couple "old folks" to go spend time with this week. Schedule a time and just go talk.
- 1 - ___________________
- 2 - ___________________
- 3 - ___________________
- Discussion: Consider what you/your family could/would/should (level of commitment) and start/stop/sustain (action) in terms of pouring into and learning from those who went before you (blood relatives or otherwise).
Further Reading, Motivation, and References:
- Garrett Hedlund, River, Again
- Desert Drifter on Youtube - he has unfortunately passed due to a car accident, but many of his videos talk about generations that came before us...far before us.
