Starfish

Starfish

Pick one.  Get 
started.

There is an old story about a person walking along the beach and finding a starfish that has washed up.  As it turns out, the more the person looks, the more starfish there are that are washed up.  A person comes by and is slowly bending over to pick up one starfish and toss it back...then another...and another.  But...even with the ones the person is tossing back, there are dozens, maybe hundreds more.  As the two people chat about the futility of not being able to save all, the person who was picking them up says, "But I can save this one," and tosses another one back into the ocean.  That story has been told for many years, and with several morals to the story.  Today, the take I wanted to share with you is that we shouldn't give up before we get started.  

Starfish
are right in
front of you.

Too often in our modern lives, we quit before we start.  This isn't to say that we shouldn't ever walk away from something at some point...but we shouldn't do it as quick as we often do.  As we break this down in some of the aspects of our lives, we can "save the starfish" when it comes to our calendar, budget, attention, etc.  For example, if we're feeling stressed and overwhelmed with our schedule...we can start cleaning it up and getting to "peace" in our calendar by making one small, starfish-sized change at a time.  Say "no" to key activities, finish your commitments, and don't renew, skip the sign-up for one more good thing volunteer activity.  

Just look 
for them.

When it comes to finance, it's easy to look at a tough situation that we've created and feel overwhelmed.  We may be staring a large debt burden in the face and think that there is no way we can even get started.  Too many people look at their situation and then put their heads back in the sand with the "if we avoid it, it'll go away" mentality.  Instead, we can start with little, individual actions that add up.  Cancel that subscription, start packing your lunch, shop at yard sales, get a part-time job, and so forth.  Each of those small activities is a starfish, and before you know it...one by one...those activities add up until we look back and have made real progress.  

One donut...great.
50...not great.

Similarly, when it comes to our health, we can commit to a few small changes or actions that can be the starfish that make a difference.  Commit to an after-dinner walk, shop on the outside of the store (not the aisle with processed food), avoid the extra donut, get your annual physical, wear your seatbelt, etc.  The small actions compound and complement each other.  If we keep doing these small, individual things, they get a momentum and contagion to themselves to move us forward.  When we look back at age 60, 70, 80, 90...those starfish decisions at 20, 30, 40, 50 pay off in the form of health and mobility.  On the flip side...don't do enough of those things long enough...and you can forget about 60, 70, 80, 90.  

Margin matters.

The starfish of our marriage and parenting may look like devoting our attention to our loved ones...in the moment.  When you think about checking that one more email from work instead of getting down on the floor with your kids to read or wrestle or have a tea party or whatever...it made a difference to that one kid.  Similar to the others, the more of those starfish moments we get right, the more we make deposits in our relationship bank accounts that allow us to have the capital when we need to do a withdrawal down the road.  Our loved ones will give us a lot of grace...but if we consistently step over their starfish...they'll run out of patience eventually.  

Starfish
are all around
you if you look.

As we depart...even if you can't save every one of the proverbial starfish in your world...this afternoon...you can save the one right in front of you...and the one right after that.  Repeat those small wins in the moment over time, habitually, and chances are, life turns out pretty alright.  On the flip side, ignore too many of those starfish, which may seem insignificant in the moment, and we end up with a pretty shallow, uncomfortable, and lonely existence.  This week, the challenge is to go out of your way to look for...and actually see...the starfish that are around you in everyday life...then pick that one up...because each one matters.  Don't quit before you start.  Every mountain climber or marathoner reached the end only because they got past the start.    

With you in the arena, from ours to yours...Happy Trails!

Call to Action: 

• Pick out three starfish moments that you've been ignoring in your life...and stoop to pick them up this week.  
• 1 - ___________________ 
• 2 - ___________________
• 3 - ___________________
• Discussion: Consider what you/your family could/would/should (level of commitment) and start/stop/sustain (action) in terms of setting up systems that prioritize the small moments that really matter.  

Further Reading, Motivation, and References:

- The Starfish Story