Loading the Shuttle

Loading the Shuttle

Start with a
dream.

In large part, our role as parents involves preparing our children for the rest of their lives...beyond their childhoods.  As Patrick Bet Davis of Valuetainment put it, "you're preparing those you can't live without to live without you."  When it comes to our "prepare-er" role, you can liken it to a space shuttle journey and loading up their proverbial shuttle.  Comparing a journey through life with a space journey is fairly accurate when you consider all the facets of life/life support systems necessary for both journeys.  

Shoot for
the moon.

When we think about the seasons of life that we have, particularly the ones we have with our children at home and under our influence, there are only a few short years where we can really lean in.  Certainly, the baby/toddler years are foundational to the preparation of life, but the early elementary, up through perhaps junior high, are the key years.  Once our kids are up into the high school years, chances are they're busy with extracurricular activities, and their friends and peers' influence becomes outsized in comparison to ours.  This is as God designed it with the whole "leaving and cleaving" part of life.  

Give rich
experiences.

When we view those few years we have when the children are impressionable...we have to try to be present enough to be able to pour into their lives.  It's been said that we can only have "quality after we have quantity" when it comes to time.  In other words, if we're always distracted or away with other priorities, it's unlikely we can do the 5-minute drop-in when we have a convenient spot in the schedule and have life-changing conversations.  We've talked about how life change often is one meaningful conversation at a time.  We've also talked about how more is often "caught than taught."  The first step to preparing their rocket ship is to be present...and be engaged...be where your feet are.  This may mean putting down the screens and leaning in.  

Encourage
exploration.

Perhaps the next "phase" or pre-req to the preparedness of our kids for life is to set strong foundations in faith...establishing the everlasting truths.  In a chaotic life where they'll be pulled by society and peers in a million directions, they must know their "true north."  Much of this can and should come through the daily interaction with you as parents.  When they see how we handle situations where temptation, failure, and other items rear their heads, they learn how to do so themselves.  By being candid and transparent with them in a "talk the talk, but also walk the walk" manner, we can help them find firm roots that will allow them to hold fast in the storms of life.  

Show that it's a big
world out there.

As you're building out the foundation, the adage, "you're the average of your five closest friends," holds true.  For centuries, humans have been raised in a multi-generational/communal set of tribes and societies.  It's a fairly modern construct where we outsource much of our parenting to "others" (babysitter, day care, nanny, teacher, etc).  For most of human history, those roles have been relatives, grandparents, aunts/uncles, friends, and neighbors.  The "it takes a village" where we're all giving and taking...not transacting or consuming. Good news, with a little effort, you can be a "good neighbor" who leans in to help with Sunday school or little league coaching...and in helping, you get a network of helpers in return.

Build on 
the dream.

Certainly, there are tangible skills that need to be put into the rocket ship - the old "reading, writing, 'rithmatic" type activities are needed.  So are the outcomes like teamwork, graceful losing, grateful winning, and the like that come from sports.  When it's said, "it takes a village," there is truth...and the good part is that you can (and should) create your village.  In today's day and age, things like homeschooling are more doable than perhaps at any time in history.  There are co-ops, online groups, meet-up groups, and extracurriculars that you can use to tailor a stellar "practical" curriculum.  

Foster
creativity.

Curiosity and self-learning are important ingredients that must go into the shuttle.  We can help instill a lifelong love of learning through copious amounts of reading.  It's also important to "sample" many extracurricular activities and sports along the way.  None of our kids is likely to be the next Peyton Manning, Wayne Gretzky, or Michael Jordan.  All of our kids can have fun, build a love of fitness and competition through the "intermural" style of sports involvement...not necessarily the all-in, all-the-time, travel sports clubs that can become all-consuming.  We can also help build lifelong learning and curiosity through lots of travel.  As we've talked, "it doesn't have to be expensive...just intentional and routine."  

Keep packing
the bag along 
the way.

As we're wrapping up, a couple of last ones that probably should make the list (among probably a thousand others...but hopefully these get you thinking...and better yet...doing) are creator vs consumer, non-victim mentality ownership, and protector/provider parent.  Breaking that down...we're a society of consumers...our great grandparents and beyond were creators by necessity.  We can instill more of that in our children and shun the "throwaway" culture.  We're also increasingly a one-up, "my victimhood is bigger than yours" culture.  Stop it.  Everyone has things they have to overcome.  Model and instill an anti-excuse lifestyle...and own your action moving forward.  We're also an increasingly "subcontractor" generation who can't "do" stuff.  Protecting and providing are things you can't outsource.  Cement the bond of the work-to-get-paid model, where money becomes a tool and creates options for your kids.  

Make the wheel
well rounded.

Lastly, as you're building them up for the rest of their lives, the idea of the "Zig Lanes" or "Zig Wheel" that we've talked quite a bit about is huge.  Specifically, as it relates to the concepts of "enough" and balance.  When we set our "enough" thresholds, we're able to find a peace that is increasingly missing from life.  Similarly, when we keep the different parts of life in check and right-sized, we can often avoid the big catastrophes.  Skip out on health/fitness...be ready for a young heart attack.  Workaholic...or poverty-stricken...be ready for a divorce.  In the filling of our children's shuttles, living a life full of balance and "enoughs," sets our kids up for success.

Keep your 
eye on the
horizon.

Build your runway...one little bit at a time.  Throughout the seasons of life, we can keep building on the basic building blocks, allowing opportunities for failure, and generally readying them with the skills, traits, and attitudes necessary to help them be successful and self-sufficient for the rest of their lives.  

With you in the arena, from ours to yours...Happy Trails!

Call to Action: 

• Pick out three things that you can do this week to help set your future generation up for success.  Do those three things and build on them. 
• 1 - ___________________ 
• 2 - ___________________
• 3 - ___________________
• Discussion: Consider what you/your family could/would/should (level of commitment) and start/stop/sustain (action) as it relates to next steps with your children's future wellbeing in mind.

Further Reading, Motivation, and References:

- Patrick Bet Davis on Parenting

- 7 Habits of Parenting - Salt Effect