There Will Be Signs

There Will Be Signs

If you ignore the sign...
you might get more work.

There are a series of memes along the lines of "If I win the lottery, I'm not telling anyone...but there will be signs" and then a picture of some clever take on the "new boat" or something.  These clever, make-you-smile memes got me thinking the other day.  In most facets of life, there are signs that we ignore when we're making decisions in life.  In life, mountainous driving has giant, brightly colored, often flashing signs that say, "if you drive faster than X, you'll fly off the curve that's just ahead and die in a firey, painful way."  They're attention-grabbing, eye-catching, and dare you to "make my day punk, go on, make my day, see if you're the one who can do 90 mph here, go on, try it.  You'll only beat the ambulance to the bottom of the cliff by an hour or so."  There is a reason car insurance rates drop for males after 25, most of us that have made it this far in life not only look for, but trust the signs...and heed their advice.  

Signs keep
us safe.

The warning signs are more subtle in real life - consistently spend more than you make, ignore the ant and grasshopper, and you'll end up begging for dog food as a retirement.  Go bar hopping and sleep around enough, don't be shocked when your future spouse is the equivalent of the proverbial "tramp/man-whore" and everything that comes with the future chapters of that storybook.  Be an absentee father where everything other than your wife and kids is more important...and your kids will grow up resenting...but repeating you.  There is much truth and irony in the Harry Chapin Cat's in the Cradle song.  Along the way, we're not saying that there is no redemption or ability to off-ramp or U-turn...we're saying, hopefully loud and clear, life easier, smoother, more fulfilling when you heed the warning signs.  

Really pay attention to 
any sign about 
alligators...

Perhaps our biggest collection of warning signs is handily written down in the Bible.  It's not only a love story but a cautionary tale of how to do life more smoothly.  Sure, you can choose to sleep around before marriage or cheat after the wedding...but it's not a good idea.  The Bible tells us that there are real-life, natural, life-altering consequences in that behavior.  By ignoring the wisdom and commandments that God gives us, we're effectively choosing the thing the sign warns us about.  We're also essentially choosing, by taking the action, to live with the consequences.  There is an old saying, "you can make the choice, but you can't choose the consequences or who has to pay them."  Sleeping around...the payment invoice is likely sent not just to you...but your spouse, your children, and your future family tree.  

...and empty desert
roads in the boonies.

In terms of family finance, the warning signs of impending peril are the little things...if you look for them, listen to them, and course correct.  Things like not paying off the credit card this month.  Being late on a bill payment.  Dipping into the emergency fund savings.  When you're seeing those warning signs on the side of the road you're on, it's time to slow down, evaluate, and consider enough so that you don't turn one month into two...and two into twelve.  By pumping the breaks and engaging in a family meeting about the whole situation that's going on...and the manifestation on the budget...we can stay on the goal road that we've created...not fly off and try to figure out how to recover from a bad crash.  These warning signs can serve as a "ghost of Christmas future" and give you a "before it's too late" message when you need it most.  

Warning signs
help us steer...

In practical family life, the fun guy that was the life of the party, always with a different girl at the bar...is that guy. We recently had a friend who got into a pretty awful, abusive relationship. While we all came around her, none of us in the little circle really were shocked. The guy she picked is that guy...the impulsive, damn-the-torpedoes guy, the one with a temper and a self-centered attitude and a "violence is the answer" bumper sticker.  I don't want to victim-blame here at all. He's the guilty one...the one who did inexcusable things...the one who should be punished.  He's also the one that we all knew would do such things.  After her first divorce, she was so wrapped up in emotion and stress, and in needing her re-bound, so to speak, she ignored all of the warning signs.  The rose colored glasses that she put on, were the same shade, so to speak, as his warning signs.  The signs were there...she didn't (couldn't/wouldn't) see them.  

...find the fun
things...

As we go through our lives, try to make sure you're going at such a pace and with the right color glasses, not so distracted, that you can see the signs.  Recently, on a family mountain biking outing, our youngest did a full flip off of a turn, landing handlebars and helmet first in a muddy creek in spectacular fashion.   In talking through it afterwards, he said, "mom, I thought you said 90 miles per hour, not 90 degrees."  Though he ignored the "sign, " he landed it well and took the consequences...and his brother still tells him, "you should've seen it from my angle."  In life, let's teach our children how to drive well enough that they're in a good position to see, understand, judge their abilities, weigh their consequences, and interact with the signs they'll encounter when we're not in their metaphorical car.  

...and enjoy the road.

Take some time to think about what warning signs are flashing around you.  Are there some that you've been driving by at top speed?  Are you living a life that is heeding the warning signs - the subtle ones and the ones screaming in your face?  Are you raising a family and setting an example of looking for the road signs?  Don't mistake doing wild, adventurous, big-life sort of things...with not being stupid and reckless along the way.  The warning signs aren't to tamp down our spirit...they're there to allow us to big adventurous things...and come back home at the end of it.  

With you in the arena, from ours to yours...Happy Trails!

Call to Action: 

• Pick out a few road signs that you'll tune into (or start looking for) in life - whatever addiction you face - workaholic, substance, screens, something else - perhaps start there.  
• 1 - ___________________ 
• 2 - ___________________
• 3 - ___________________
• Discussion: Consider what you/your family could/would/should (level of commitment) and start/stop/sustain (action) in terms of holding each other accountable this week in regard to the warning signs in your life.  

Further Reading, Motivation, and References:

- Andy Stanley Guardrails

- Andy Stanley Rules for the Road