Theater
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| Study the scripts. |
We often treat life as though it's a scripted theater interaction where we've studied our lines and play our part. Life is far more complex and and often more raw than our script would let on. There are times, segments or chapters of life and pieces of advice when scripts make sense. There are other scripts that can lead you down dangerous paths that steal your freedom. It's important to know when theater is in our best interest...and when we need to go off script, often against the grain of the popular crowd, so that we put our family and their best interests first.
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| Test them out. |
It's easy to go along to get along in large parts of our life. A sort of autopilot or river current that can carry you along whether you mean for it to or not. In these times and seasons we can end up playing our part on the script. For most people, we don't do anything that would land us in the county jail...that's a good script to stick to. On the flip side, if we eat from the advertising script of fast food every day, we'll weigh four hundred pounds...not a good script to follow. In many parts of life, it's important to write your own script that you and your family choose to follow. It can be a balance of other minor and major scripts around you or a purely pioneer journey down a new path.
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| Bring a friend. |
We have a person in our circle who recently sold everything to buy a boat and sail the Caribbean. Minus Captain Jack, not a ton of people go to that particular theater...for better or worse. Another family we met recently was living in a fancy sprinter van, traveling between National Parks camp hosting. Some of these one-off scripts that are off the beaten path fit for some folks...but you can't copy/paste them easily to others. In other words, a script that is right for one family may be tragically wrong for another and vice versa. When you're picking out your script, it's important to get the big rocks right...while also leaving enough flexibility around the edges to say "yes" to whimsy and adventure.
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Try a new
one every
so often. |
We can have people writing scripts that are not in our best interest. Peer pressure friends who want to one-up each other until something breaks. Parents who want you to follow in their footsteps or achieve what they never did. Our own selfish nature scripts that forget the importance of the family promises you've made. These scripts can be potentially well intentioned, but can get out of hand. They can cause a ton of regret down the road as well. With scripts that are forced upon us, it's important to periodically consider who and why the script is floating up...then decide if it's the right one for you...and who you're becoming. This is doubly true when you have a family...it's critical to make any scripts a "we" duet part with your spouse and incorporate your children as it makes sense.
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| Check different theaters. |
Sometimes there are scripts that we should follow. When it comes to our financial health, experts like Dave Ramsey, The Money Guys, or many others have scripts that make a ton of sense and lead to a ton of success. With basics like "live on less than you make, invest the difference," the script can help us keep our priorities in order so that we can live our biggest and best life. On the other side, society often tells you that the script is to spend every penny...and then some on the bigger, newer, nicer car, house, vacation, etc. Social media can be a real dangerous enemy when we can see what appears to be everyone having it better than us. That currated view of a script that is untenable doesn't show the other half and cost of all that stuff.
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| Change your vantage point. |
There are certain scripts that many people have followed that can be beneficial under certain circumstances. Growing up, the script was to go to college, get a good job, then work a long time, and retire. That script, as it turns out had an expiration date, or at least a set of fine print details that many people didn't read. That script got a ton of folks neck deep in student loan debt for career paths that don't have economic viability. In other words, the script led the down a path that is probably, in many cases, regretable. The lesson from here should be that when you're following or selecting a script, it's critical that you do so following some due diligence...not blindly.
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Try dress rehearsals and
practices to see what
sticks. |
Continuing the theater metaphor a little further, remember that you have a whole set of people and cast of characters around you. There are some of the folks behind the stage, in the sound booth, producers staying strategic, set/costume designers, musicians, ticket-takers, and headliners among others. Similarly, in your life, you've got a set of characters in your circle(s). The immediate family circle, the close friends and relatives, the coworkers, children's teachers, etc. As you think through your circles of people, consider the role they play in your life...and that you play in their life. Those roles don't have to be reciprocal, but the script should help influence what we're pouring into our relationships...and what we're sucking out. The point here is...don't be a blackhole to those around you. Also, don't let those around you suck ou tall the joy or distract you from who you're called to become...like always here...find balance.
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Settle in and
enjoy! |
Overall, life is less scripted recite your lines and more build the plane while you fly it. When we plan ahead, we can wing it strategically, maximizing for long term success and memories in the moment. The secret here is to recognize when we're in a script...and consider if it's a good one...the right one...for you, your family, and the season you're in to get you to where you want to go. Similarly, recognizing when the script we're following is the wrong one...and leading us in a bad direction. And, lastly, recognizing when we need to hit the gas pedal and create our own new path for our journey. All in all...play your part when it makes sense...and write your own play when it doesn't. As they say in theater, "break a leg." Best of luck!
With you in the arena, from ours to yours...Happy Trails!
Call to Action:
- Pick out three scripts that are in your family life...now evaluate them. Keep or toss...but think careful.
- 1 - ___________________
- 2 - ___________________
- 3 - ___________________
- Discussion: Consider what you/your family could/would/should (level of commitment) and start/stop/sustain (action) in terms of scripts and theater in your life.
Further Reading, Motivation, and References:
- Family Scripts
