Rock Stars, Main Characters, and Quarterbacks

Rock Stars, Main Characters, and Quarterbacks

It's okay to be a
spectator.

Often we are in the habit of our "idol worship" around the leading lad or lady...the rock star front man.  Turns out...the world needs a team.  It's easy to look at the stage and not beyond it when we're seeing how a thing comes to fruition.  According to Google, an average Taylor Swift concert requires about 1,000 workers to pull it off.  Everyone from ticket takers, truck drivers, skilled trades, you name it.  Turns out, each NFL game has between 1,500 and 3,000 workers making the day a success.  The average fiction book has 10-20 primary characters and 15-30 supporting or secondary characters to make the story get across the finish line.  

Make time for 
NFL Batman.

In your life, it's okay to not always be the "main man," so to speak.  There are many times in life where your role or season is being in the right seat on the right bus...not necessarily driving the thing every single day.  The system is built to have a team full of unique and complementary skills to make it work.  Think about the chaos of 11 quarterbacks or 10 singers all trying to sing over each other.  Think about the confusion of a story where a dozen story line points of view are battling for attention.  Now, flip it.  Picture the music that comes when a drummer, guitarist, keyboardist, lead singer, etc., are all in harmony.  Or the way that a lineman protects the quarterback who makes the big throw that is caught in perfect stride by the wide receiver.  Or your favorite author using the support team to help the protagonist figure out the mystery or otherwise find a resolution in the story.  

Not all of us end up in the
museum display.

In our own lives and within our families, we must use our "situational leadership" to find the right balance of "command and control," "coordination and cooperation," with a bit of cheerleader, mediator, negotiator, etc., all thrown into the pot.  I think in part, our crisis of boyhood/manhood in the country right now is connected to the message of Hollywood that unless you're Arnold Schwarzenegger (fill in your favorite leading man or woman here), you missed the boat.  Unless you're the CEO, with the yacht, the dream spouse, dream house, dream car, etc, you missed.  I've found a pretty solid life where I've carved out a niche of being a pretty great support character in many roles.  

Sometimes we're not the
knight in shining armor.

I've not been the fire chief...but I've learned a ton about a ton of topics and helped a lot of people along the way.  I'm not the director at work...but I've carved out a good living in a place our family enjoys that ticks most all of the boxes of what we need at home.  I'm not a zillionaire...but we live a comfortable life.  I'm not...fill in the blank...but...fill in the blank again with the other side of the coin.  I think the secret to this, like most of our stuff here at Family in the Arena, revolves around the importance of balance.  There is a certain "law of physics" or something that if we let one segment or spoke of our proverbial wheel get too long, we get out of balance...and the whole thing begins to teeter down the road at best.  

We can still enjoy the 
music without wanting
to trade places.

Similarly, if we make our wheel so small as not to have a potential failure, we never make it anywhere.  If I say, "I don't want to fail at..." divorce...so I won't get married.  Or the new big job, so I'll stay in this entry-level one.  You can extrapolate from there...it's easy to be lukewarm and live a mediocre life.  It's also easy to fail to define or find your "enough" and, through constant chasing, miss the forest for the trees all around you.  We've got people in our circle who have tried to grow all of the segments at the same time...career, marriage, parenting, faith, etc.  They've ended up on an endless hamster wheel, mostly addicted to being busy.  Sure, they seem to be killing it in many ways, but they also seem exhausted and dazed if you get below the veneer on the surface. 

I'm thankful there's
a ringmaster, but
I'm glad I'm not him. 

The point here is, among many points this week, I suppose, is that we have to define our roles, our levels of commitment, and our goals/dreams.  These things become the gauges behind our steering wheel that help us "live our best lives."  It's important to remember that we can change them or the course we're traveling along the journey but in the absence of "enough" and "okay" with ourselves, we default to the quinessential "failure to launch," "living in the basement," "consumed with video games," "here but not present," "grew apart," etc stereotypes...that are stereotypes for a reason.  We were called, from the very beginning, to be productive, to be leaders, to be protectors and providers for our families.  

Getting on the
other side of the 
glass may take more
than we should pay.

As we wrap it up, remember, you can't and shouldn't try to always be the main character, star quarterback, and lead singer in every facet of life.  There are times and needs of those around you that necessitate your presence in support roles.  Sure, I could be the "rock star" in my little professional corner, traveling to a new city every week, dazzling my peers with my brilliant ideas...but I'd not be here to wake up our kid with a back scratch or catch the dishes/laundry for my wife, or toss the ball for the dog.  When we look back from the end of our lives, those are probably the things we'd want more of...not one more PowerPoint presentation in the old backpack.  Like always, the path to balance, which in turn brings harmony and peace...begins with intentionality, saying "no," and defining...and sticking to our "enough" goals.  

With you in the arena, from ours to yours...Happy Trails!

Call to Action: 

• Pick out a few things this week that resonate with you where there is an imbalance between our desire to hit home runs and the needs of those around us.  Take a few steps to right-size your spokes this week.  
• 1 - ___________________ 
• 2 - ___________________
• 3 - ___________________
• Discussion: Consider what you/your family could/would/should (level of commitment) and start/stop/sustain (action) in terms of supporting each other's goals, ambitions, dreams...within the needs of the team. 

Further Reading, Motivation, and References:

- Main Character Syndrome

Use the Right Ruler

Use The Right Ruler

Some rulers pop 
right up in front of you
if you know where
to look.

There are rulers all around us that we measure ourselves against - our status, our success, our worth, our wealth, our purpose, etc.  It's important that as we go throughout our lives, we try to avoid the constant measuring...but if and when we do measure...that we use the right ruler.  Recently, I was teaching a class at the fire department and realized that I'm short on the proverbial "cool-guy war stories" that jazz up a class.  The other half of that coin and the realization that hit me that night is the fact that the reason (in large part) that I don't have those war stories anymore is because I've got a ton of family stories being home every night instead of traveling the country slaying disaster dragons.  Back when, I'd seriously considered a regional job.  My friend and the would-be supervisor said, "It says 75% travel, it's really 90...but it's yours if you want it."  It was tempting, but I would have missed what Scott Galloway calls "garbage time," or the time between our so-called "quality time."  The problem is that garbage time is soaked in bonding and a pre-req for the quality time.  For our family, I had to be there for tucking kids in, saying howdy in the morning, wrestling, tickle-tackles, reading, dishes, laundry, cleaning, and so forth...not just parachute in on the weekend for the highlight reel.

Some rulers are
on the road side.

We've talked a lot about the idea that "comparison is the thief of joy," where we minimize and essentially lose our joy when we look at ourselves through the lens of another.  Historically, we were really only able to compare our lot in life to those in our neighborhood or work as a matter of practical purpose.  With the constant and pervasive pressure of social media in our pockets, our comparison is now universal in terms of time, space, and how often we do it.  In our modern times, we can compare ourselves (whether we try to or not) to just about anyone on the planet at all hours of the day on any topic.  Vacations, homes, cars, spouses, etc.  Someone out there has a better time of it than we do...and that's okay.  

Some rulers
zoom way, way in.

When we talk about the rulers we use, it's critical that we make an internalized version within our family and ourselves that is agreed upon.  If we don't, we find ourselves inadvertently using the rulers we see all around us.  The neighbor with the cooler car.  The co-worker with the cooler house.  The guy/gal at the store with the cooler spouse.  The list can go on and on if we let it.  In this same vein, the comparison trap of comparing to others also includes the fact that the curated social media version is not the full story...it's the polished up, window display version.  Our mundane Tuesday afternoon gets compared to the fictional story of someone's snapshot in time, airbrushed, Instagram-worthy selfie.  That's not a fair comparison on any level.  But...we end up doing it anyway, more often and often subconsciously than we know.  

Some rulers
multiply.

Perhaps a way to frame the whole ruler conversations is to put it in the perspective of "within these constraints" when we consider something.  This helps us to keep a thing right-sized and be disciplined.  It could be loosely paralleled to the idea of a diet/exercise/calendar.  I'll go out to eat, but won't get dessert.  I'll go on vacation, but I won't do the upsell activities that we haven't planned for.  I'll do my best work at work...but within my 9-to-5 schedule.  Jocko Willink, famed Navy SEAL and motivational speaker/content creator, talks about the freedom in discipline.  These "stick to your guns" discipline statements help you have the best time, do the best work, live the best life...in balance across all spectrums.  

Sometimes the 
ruler is just you
and yourself.

I've got colleagues and co-workers who have made sacrifices to get to places further in their careers, resumes, and professions than I have.  A couple of them have done it at what seems from the outside as a healthy balance of juggling successful families.  Most of them, however, are estranged from families, have broken homes, or otherwise present an unenviable picture from the end zone.  In other words, they're further from the starting line...but perhaps in the wrong direction.  I could make more money, have more prestige, and feed my ego bigger by switching to a heavy travel job and hitting the road.  In doing so, I'd also be an absentee father and husband.  My alimony and child support checks would, in effect, be bigger because I'd have missed the forest for the trees.  It'd be easy enough to look across at someone else's journey and be ready to hop ship...if I wasn't firmly anchored in the ruler of "enough" that we've set for our family.

Sometimes 
the ruler is a
public one.

Throughout your journey and the seasons of life, you can swap your rulers around a bit.  There were seasons as an early adult before being married or having kids that I worked sort of around the clock - between volunteering, paid gigs, etc.  There will be other seasons where our kids are grown, and presumably we'll be retired, and my ruler may measure more sunsets/sunrises.  It could also look in that season like a consultant/contractor/have-slidedeck-will-travel instructor, perhaps.  We don't need to make those decisions until we get closer...but it's important to have the conversations now about the next seasons.  By honing and sculpting the right ruler ahead of time, we build shared expectations and collective buy-in necessary for balanced success.  

You only get to do
this if you did that
right.  Choose
wisely...everyday.

As we wrap up, perhaps you can evaluate your set of rulers like I did mine recently by reflecting on the stories you have to tell.  My realization that my lack of war stories from fire and disaster was directly comparable to my increase in family stories was telling and reinforcing.  This isn't to say that you shouldn't go out there and economically kill the woolly mammoth and drag it back to the cave.  That is to say, that's not the only part of the equation.  It's also to say that if you seek, create, tend, and steward your budget, calendar, diet, habits, hobbies...you can have both.  Be where your feet are when you're there.  Keep each bucket in its own bucket as much as possible.  And...put down the dang social media.  Make your own family set of rulers...then let that be enough.  Choose wisely and embrace the changes.  

With you in the arena, from ours to yours...Happy Trails!

Call to Action: 

• Pick out three rulers in your life that you may have been pursuing or climbing or measuring...that are the wrong rulers.  Now shape and craft those rulers through research and conversation...then commit a weekly action for each ruler...starting...now.
• 1 - ___________________ 
• 2 - ___________________
• 3 - ___________________
• Discussion: Consider what you/your family could/would/should (level of commitment) and start/stop/sustain (action)

Further Reading, Motivation, and References:

-  Scott Galloway Notes on Being a Man

- Jocko Willink Discipline Equals Freedom

Prevention Pays

Prevention Pays

Prevention can mean bringing
tools with you for a rainy day.

In disaster, we talk about how "prevention pays, but it's not sexy."  In other words, how many crime dramas talk about broken windows theory and how many focus on response by catching a bad guy?  But...avoiding a disaster is far better than picking up the pieces.  In our disaster world, it's not realistic to say we'll "prevent the hurricane" with some fancy space laser or something.  Prevention looks like preventing the consequences as best as possible by things like planning/zoning, where we don't put values at risk (houses) on the beach where we know a hurricane will come in.  It may also look like prevention of consequence by doing proactive evacuations when a hurricane gets close to avoid anyone getting killed.  

Avoid the flat
tire. 

In our family lives, much like our disaster response infrastructure, we often get overcome by events, then try to respond at the last minute like a baseball player in the bottom of the 9th on the 3-2 pitch...swinging for the fences when we run out of margin.  Occasionally, you'll make contact with the ball and get yourself out of a pinch.  Most of the time, however, we end up getting short-tempered with our loved ones, stressed out, and typically end up dropping some of our juggling balls in the air.  When we reorient our paradigm toward prevention and getting "left of bang" or moving before the bad thing on the proverbial timeline, we often find more success.  

Talk prevention 
while we teach
response.

In real life, this can look like not overscheduling your calendar and then trying to run around and apologize for getting everywhere late...and making up for it by leaving early.  We have a friend in our little circle who is so overscheduled that he runs from thing to thing, often sleeping and eating in the car between events.  It's nuts.  We've taken a more prevention-oriented approach on our calendars by having a careful matrix that ensures (most of the time) we only are doing activities that (A) strategically move us closer to desired outcomes, (B) fit within our current schedule, and (C) are discussed and agreed on by our whole family before saying "yes."  This isn't a wet blanket on spontaneity; we still say "yes" to the one-off activities, like when the circus comes through town.  We don't automatically say "yes" to the "one more good thing" that we happen to hear about, like a new baseball season or piano lessons.  

Sometimes it's
strategic.

In finance, saving and investing consistently over time means you're inherently preventing a really bleak retirement phase of life.  It's been said by many folks before, "pay yourself first," which means we're budgeting our money before it hits our account so that we know where it's going when it lands.  By building crisis-prevention systems and structures in our finances - an emergency fund, adequate insurance, etc - we help make sure that a would-be crisis or catastrophe is minimized to a speed bump level.  Like most things, this can take some time, but with diligent work toward prevention, within 6 months, you'll be shocked at how much progress you can make toward making your finances (or whatever other facet) what we call "bomb proof."  

Make it a mindset.

In marriage, preventative maintenance is prevention...by intentionally adding in counseling, date nights, weekends away, dinner around the table, and other items, we are preventing the big bad outcomes like hollow marriages or divorce.  It's easy to become complacent or "grow apart," as many people say.  The way we get to prevention is by injecting intentionality into the things that make our marriage successful.  It's not often that a marriage explodes in one fell big-bang moment, but rather got to where it was limping along and then finally crashed.  Prevention in this space is doing the things that prevent the limp...which in turn prevents the big crash.  

Opportunities to 
chat are all
around us.

As we wrap it up this week, hopefully you take some time to reflect on the ways you can prevent problems tomorrow and way down the horizon timeline.  If you want to play with your grandkids on the rug in 20 years...you need to do the preventative work today to raise awesome kids who will have awesome grandkids.  You also need to manage your finances so that your financial situation doesn't prevent you from having the margin to spend time with them.  From a health perspective, you need to do the preventative work for heart disease so you're still kicking and the fitness things so that you can still bend down and pick them up.  You get the point, sometimes when we think prevention...the horizon level look helps us keep our eye on the big prize. 

With you in the arena, from ours to yours...Happy Trails!

Call to Action: 

• Pick out a few activities that you can add action and effort to this week toward prevention...instead of response or reaction.
• 1 - ___________________ 
• 2 - ___________________
• 3 - ___________________
• Discussion: Consider what you/your family could/would/should (level of commitment) and start/stop/sustain (action) of preventing stress in the next season of life (next few months to next few years).  

Further Reading, Motivation, and References:

- Prevention of Bad Outcomes for Young Adults

Ctrl + Z

Ctrl+Z

Keep teeth
and friends.

In computer and word processing shorthand parlance, "Ctrl+Z" is the shortcut key pair for "undo" your last action.  Made a typo, hit "Ctrl+Z" to undo that last thing.  It, among other shortcut key combinations, can make our lives at work or on the screen more efficient and effective.  When there's a mistake, we can quickly and easily hit the "undo" button to go back a few spaces cleanly and easily.  In "real life," we don't have that easy button, so it's much more important that we take the time "not to get it wrong" on the big stuff.  

Have a 
system.

Let's pretend for a moment that we do have a proverbial "undo" button in our lives.  When would we reach for it?  Would it be at the indicator or the forecast that something is coming?  Would we pump the brakes before the impact?  Or, would we wait until the crisis?  The recovery?  We talk about getting "left of bang" in the emergency business, where we try to apply mitigations or off-ramps when we begin to sense clues and establish patterns that can help us make informed decisions more often and more consistently.  A quick example might be that when we see a yellow light, we cover the brake pedal instead of gunning it.  No need for Ctrl+Z when we don't put ourselves in a position to require us to be accidentally lucky.  

Being tired often
comes first.

In life, the goal is not to need that Ctrl+Z key combination by getting out in front of the situation.  When we look at the equation of trouble from our car example above, there is the "thing" of running the red light.  There are factors that can aggravate the situation - no seat belt.  But...unless someone else is in or about to be going through the intersection...the "bang" is avoided.  In that example, we might Ctrl+Z any point in that equation...before...during...or after the impact where we get T-boned.  When we put that whole thing in reverse...we can prevent the crisis and the need for Ctrl+Z.  We can wear our seatbelts.  Don't turn around to get whatever the kid needs.  Avoid the screen distraction.  Drive defensively.  These actions, when we habitualize them, help us minimize our need for an "undo" button.  

Markers
might be
too.

When we look at the rest of life, we likely need to reach for that Ctrl+Z combination when we're tired, stressed, etc.  Chances are, at our house and yours, the times we look for, reach for, or wish for the buttons is when we snap at a loved one, co-worker, stranger, etc.  Knowing our precursors to when we wish for the button helps us recognize the environment where we're at our worst within.  Knowing this can help us avoid or at least minimize our troubles.  "I spend money that I regret when I ____" - when you're in the pre-req zone...put in some guardrails or friction that slow you down.  You can apply this same logic across the rest of life - diet, exercise, work, faithfulness, you name it.  Listen to yourself and analyze the "how'd I get here" after you have something you regret.  Over time, those patterns start to act as yield or stop signs to help keep you from a major consequence.  

Hang onto it for
the big stuff.

Likely, the death-of-a-thousand-cuts, whether on the keyboard or in life, isn't what Ctrl+Z is made for.  If you find yourself reaching for it every five minutes...you need an overhaul or a new system.  We should, with practice, get to where we are reaching for it less and less often because we're getting more proficient at doing life without it.  Also, keep in mind that it's designed more for us...not for those around us.  A couple of years ago, we got accidentally lucky with a near-miss tornado...that missed everything.  Ten miles to the south, and we would've been on national news for a major tragedy.  There was nothing in that scenario we could've reached for Ctrl+Z on.  We could, however, take ownership in our part - making sure the right resources are acquired, the right people have the right training, the right folks have the right equipment for early warning, and so forth.  The point here is...use it sparingly...and use it where it would actually count.  You can't hit it on your computer (or life) and expect the results to pop out on someone else's screen.  

Bring a dog to
help you watch
out for Ctrl+Z
moments.

As we wrap it up, let's remember that we got better (or hopefully are getting better) in this space, likely because of practice and life experience.  When it comes to our children, we owe it to them to talk through this space.  What it feels like to regret and how to steer that into avoidance in the future.  Much of this is through trial-and-error, not "thou-shalt" lecturing.  So...to that end, let your kids make mistakes while they're still in the safe and loving environment of your home.  Those big mistakes that we want to avoid with lifelong consequences - dropping out, divorce, drugs, etc...we avoid those by learning how to minimize or avoid some of the skinned-knee level parallels when they're little.  

Take care this week and hopefully you reach for the proverbial Ctrl+Z a little less than last week and even fewer reaches next week.  Good luck!

With you in the arena, from ours to yours...Happy Trails!

Call to Action: 

• Pick out a couple of things that you tend to reach for Ctrl+Z on in your life.  Now pick out three root causes that you can apply action to so that you don't have to reach as often in this space of life.  
• 1 - ___________________ 
• 2 - ___________________
• 3 - ___________________
• Discussion: Consider what you/your family could/would/should (level of commitment) and start/stop/sustain (action) to help reduce the times that you regret and need to apologize by recognizing and avoiding the pre-reqs or environment altogether more often.  

Further Reading, Motivation, and References:

- Left of Bang

Ruler Perspective

Ruler Perspective

Sometimes, bring a
squirrel to measure. 

We've often talked about the power of changing your paradigm or perspective when it comes to making progress and traction toward intentionality throughout your life.  Sometimes, when we change the way we view our proverbial ruler, we get a better opportunity to find the motivation necessary to make a big change that can alter not only our life course but our family tree.  This week, we'll talk about the idea of converting or calculating the cost of something by stretching or shrinking our time horizon ruler.  We'll also talk about the perspective of opportunity costs and incremental gains.  We've got friends who skip over the small stuff since "it's too insignificant to matter," while also asking how we got where we got.  The answer is...doing the small stuff day in and day out for a long time.  

Sometimes
get the fold-y
ruler.

First off, let's chat about counting the cost with different units of measurement.  The oft quoted millenial avacado toast and coffee are ripe for this example.  Let's say the morning snack (for easy math) is $5 bucks...no big deal.  All of a sudden, that's $25/work week.  It becomes $100 a month and $1,200 a year.  Changing our ruler changes the idea.  Now, toss on the opportunity cost and incremental gains idea...that $1,200 a year in a decade is $12,000 under the mattress.  Toss this math problem in the Nerd Wallet (or your favorite) compound interest calculator over the course of a career...$378,228.85.  That example, or one like it, runs rampant through the finance space.  

Sometimes get 
a running 
head start.

Less quoted, but similar, let's look at one of the big three (housing, transportation, food).  The "guest" room that you bust your budget on in the new house over time is a powerful example.  With a little research, it seems like the average "extra" cost of a three bedroom vs four bedroom is about $30-60,000 on a $300,000 home.  At 6.5% mortgage rates over 30 years...that extra room costs you roughly $136,500 all in - interest, principal, etc.  Now divide that math backwards into the number of nights that you had guests who could use that house.  Not sure who keeps stats, but apparently 3-5 nights/year is an "average" amount.  Let's split the difference and say 4/year x 30 years is 120 nights, which comes out to $1,138/night.  When we change the perspective...maybe we should squeeze on the air mattress or buy Grandma a hotel room.  

Look closely.

Another ruler shift that can be eye-opening is playing with the "feels like" cost or perhaps what could be described as the "heat index" of finance.  Let's take your actual hourly rate when we have it fully loaded - commute cost, time, actual hours not at home, tax, benefits, etc., divided into your take-home pay.  When we crunch all that math, let's say it comes out to $20/hour.  Now, let's look at the all-in cost of dinner out or the new shoes.  For easy math's sake, that $100 expense becomes more than half a day of work.  What might've been a "sure, let's go out tonight" can change to "let's stay in and make popcorn for our home movie" can shift (and still be wonderful) when we look at "feels like" cost.  

Sometimes you
have to zoom in.

Another way to look at changing your ruler perspective is by breaking the cost down or changing it to cost per day/week/month/year/decade.  In other words, my such-and-such habit costs me $20/month.  That comes down to $240 in a year, $2,400 in a decade, $14,400 over an adulthood.  Maybe that's not so bad or so good...but allows us to think about it differently.  On the flip side, let's go backwards with a $50,000 new car (average in 2026), and the average (according to Google) time someone keeps it is 8 years.  That's $6,250/year...before title, taxes, maintenance, gas, tires, etc., which is estimated to be an average of a $1,000/month.  All in, $18,250 per year...or $50 bucks per day...every day of the year, whether you use it or not.  I'm not saying sell the car and ride the bus...but when we think through the cost of something through different lenses, we may make different decisions.  

Sometimes you
have to zoom out.

In this example, we wanted to look at the opportunity cost.  Sure, there's the "if I didn't spend my money on this, I could've invested it in that" with the traditional definition.  We wanted to think about the time cost.  I have a friend who has a cabin...he ends up with probably 4-6 weekends a year just in maintenance stuff.  When he was talking about plans for the coming summer, he listed out all sorts of stuff...and grudgingly said, "but I've got to go do this-and-that to the cabin."  It'd flipped from cool thing to say he had at the office parties...to a pain in the neck.  This is to say nothing of the amount of all in purchase and carrying cost divided per night slept up there, relaxing.  Spoiler alert...it was way higher than just staying at the nearby hotel and resort on a per-night basis.  And...another spoiler ruler alert...a few years ago, a big wildland fire was heading through, and though the cabin survived, he was beside himself.  Before you go all in on a new big toy...look at what you could/would/should do with the same level of time/cost/etc investment.  

Sometimes bring 
an alligator.  

Consider applying this ruler perspective conversation to your schedule, your budget, your diet, your exercise, your family focuses...or whatever other commodity you want to measure.  One cookie a day seems like no big deal...that's 10 boxes a year, all for you or 19,200 calories in a year...but really...how many of us can only eat just one?  (PS - that equates to about 5.5 pounds of body fat by itself...per year).  That activity that only takes two nights a week?  That's 28% of your evenings in a year.  The average (again, according to Google) that a dad spends with a kid per day is 1-1.8 hours/day.  We'll split the difference at 1.5...that means for 94% of the day...we're doing something other than hanging out with our kids.  I get it...We have jobs and busy schedules and sleep...but still 8 for work, 8 for sleep, still leave 33% available, and we use 6%.  

Sometimes get
closer.

As we wrap up, consider using this week as a jumping-off point to recalculating how we look at the most important things in our lives.  When we change our proverbial glasses, sometimes it helps us look at the way we count the cost a little differently.  Hopefully you can re-figure what and why you do some of the things you do and see if it still makes sense...or if you want to change it up.  Best of luck in the counting and measuring! 

With you in the arena, from ours to yours...Happy Trails!

Call to Action: 

• Pick out three parts of life that you want to recount this week.  Once you re-look carefully at how and why you've leaned in...does it still make sense to lean in?  Double down?  Back out?  
• 1 - ___________________ 
• 2 - ___________________
• 3 - ___________________
• Discussion: Consider what you/your family could/would/should (level of commitment) and start/stop/sustain (action) in terms of evaluating how you do life...and if it's the right way you want it to be?  

Further Reading, Motivation, and References:

-  Don't Measure Your Life with Someone Else's Ruler