You're Average

You're Average

Check the
numbers.

You're average, so am I, so are all of us.  That's the definition.  That's how averages work...half of all of usare above the number, half are below (although that's technically the median but for our puroses today...that's not the point).  When you think about just about any category of life, you're somewhere on the continuum or on the spectrum between worst and best...probably toward the middle.  There are certainly outliers and you may be one of them in some part of your life.  Chances of you (or any of us) being an outlier in all the parts of life aren't stellar.  There's not many genius level, perfect saint, MVP ball playing, CEOs with perfect marriages and outstanding kids out there.  

Study the 
history.

Before we dive into it too deeply, careful with the comparison trap here.  Average is inherently a comparison with those around you...and those not around you via social media.  It's easy to fall into the trap of seeing what you don't have without the full story and letting it steal the joy.  When we look at others and see the person with the nicer _____ (car, house, job, salary, spouse, kid, life, etc), it's a dangerous slippery slope of trouble.  Unless you've got the fortitude to stay the course that you've set...don't go hunting the "always better than you" zone.  If you're not there yet, just do a quick internet search for "average" age, gender, location person and a category (example below).  

Measure the 
results.

This is isn't a rah, rah post to get make you consider changing all that you do to "not be average," nor is it a comparison-is-the-thief-of-joy thing.  It's a permission slip to be okay with being average.  This isn't to say striving for excellence is a bad thing...it's to say that making excellence the singular focus pursuit in your life is probably at the best shortsited and worst potentially toxic.  I work hard at my job...it provides for my family...but I wouldn't say I'm "excellent."  I don't say yes to out of town travel.  I don't sign up for after hours projects or extra shifts that take away from interacting at home.  I may take a long lunch to watch our kids play football.  In turn, I do my best when I'm there...but in our profession, on the national scale...I'm probably average.

Adjust the aim for 
the next shot.

More broadly, in terms of profession, my wife and I work in "average" type industries...neither one of us is chasing the corporate ladder or in an emerging "venture capital" style career path.  Both of us work in government jobs...her very part time as a teacher these days and me as a manager with a state agency.  Neither profession is one that comes with much of an "above average" salary potential.  Both us could make more by changing what...or how we do it.  She could make more by working full time or pursuing adminitsration.  I could certainly make more in the contractor space side of our industry.  That said, being average here works just fine for our family.  We make enough to make our lifestyle work.  Messing with that calculus or trying to optimize for the peak...would...without a doubt...crash our overall system.  

Make a commitment.

As we look at the different arenas or buckets of life, it's important to define average.  It's also important, like we've chatted, to set a target "enough number" so to speak in each bucket.  I try to be an "A" level family guy.  I'm not an "A" level in other parts of my life...in large part because the opportunity cost of what it would take to make it happen.  This blog...pretty average.  I've made it consistent...sometimes at the expense of quality.  I could chase monetizatin and engage in social media to drum up readership, but it's not about that for me.  I'm okay with where we are with it.  

Keep practicing. 

My wife and I still joke that when we were dating, we tried Guitar Hero, the video game.  While she scored high 90s...I scored a literal 3%...far below average.  There are many things that I am really, really not good at...and not willing to get better.  There are others that are a constant work in progress that I do want to get better at.  Faith for example...I'm not wonderful at leading our family in this space.  I can (and am trying to) get better at things like being consistent in praying, getting to church regularly, engaging in reading the Bible.  

Learn from others.

We were visiting a friend recently who was in a quandry about what she and her family should do for the next chapter in their life.  They are in a spot where they've got three sweet girls, a great home, nice lifestyle, and he's working a job making bank...but a lot of hours.  They're ultimate goal is to get back closer to family a state away.  In part...they're trying to go be small-town average.  Fortunately, for them, they're using their above average income years to set themselves up for a "below average" next chapter...that is a perfect ideal for them.  The seasonality is trading between buckets...now one bucket is above average so that...in the next stage the important bucket of home and kids can be stellar.  

Do the 
thing.

As we wrap up this week, take a minute to think about the old "what would you do for a Klondike bar?" jingle but substitute in "above average" and a bucket.  I've had a small business on the side for several years...multiple peoplehave told me that it could be fairly successful if we did something with it.  The problem is...the "cost" of making it above average...is not a cost we're willing to pay...not at this stage of life.  I'm okay being average in this part of life...so that...our family can have excellent adventure and presence in this chapter.  Hopefully you can find peace with the parts of average that are at or below...and make sure the ones above...are the right ones.   

With you in the arena, from ours to yours...Happy Trails!

Call to Action: 

• Pick out what you think you're "better than average" at - list them out here...and make sure they're the right things you say you want to be good at.  
• 1 - ___________________ 
• 2 - ___________________
• 3 - ___________________
• Discussion: Consider what you/your family could/would/should (level of commitment) and start/stop/sustain (action) in terms of the average family and where you're at.  Pick carefully where you need to course adjust.  

Further Reading, Motivation, and References:

- Average Profile Example