Adventure Is Out There

Adventure is Out There

Go cow tanking down
the river.

Adventure is out there...the premise being that it's outside your four walls at home.  Whether you live in an apartment, a van, a modest home, or a monster mansion...most adventure is past the front door.  The good news is that we don't often have to go very far from home to find it - backyard, walk around the block, greenway, city park, nearby state park, national park, or anywhere in between.  There are some adventure-adjacent things we can do at home - read about it, watch shows about it, study it...but it's hard to do when we're inside.  Watching a show about fishing is not the same as actually fishing.  Reading about mountain climbing isn't the same as doing it.  

Or climbing.

When we "consume" adventure instead of participating in it, we slowly but surely lose our will and ability to partake physically in it.  My grandfather, as a young man, was a pretty active outdoorsman.  By the time I'd come along, he'd spent so much time sitting in the easy chair watching adventure that he'd lost the physical ability to actually do much outside.  He'd traded doing for storytelling...then slowly lost his own stories to recollections of other people's televised travels.  We owe it to ourselves...particularly our future selves to get outside and "do" adventure so that we can later get out and do adventure.  Similarly, we owe our children and grandchildren the continued commitment to getting out.  

Or bird watching on 
the roof.

We noticed on a recent trip to a Midwest state that most people were pretty comfortable going from air-conditioned space to air-conditioned space - home to car to store to dinner to store to car to home.  Consequently, over time, they (and we) become conditioned and addicted to the creature comforts...and it becomes easier to say "no" when the adventure opportunities present themselves.  This has a slippery slope effect as it relates to mental, physical, and probably gets into emotional/spiritiual health as well.  I know when we're engaged beyond ourselves...life is better at our house.  When we're out and doing physical things, we stay in better shape...which in turn...makes it easier to do more things.  Similarly, our mental/emotional/spiritual health all feels more in balance and more healthy when we're not just staring at screens.  

Or hiking.

Stewardship is another big part of getting our kids out the door to adventure.  Our children are getting increasingly removed from adventure and the outdoors in general.  Between our safety-fied culture where we inordinately avoid anything that might create a band-aid and our busy schedules that make it easy to skip adventures - big and small...our children aren't learning to love our natural spaces.  Similarly, as we do more screen time instead of travel time, we lose our appreciation for those around us and different from us.  As this generation grows up...without a strong adventure/outdoor/travel foundation...they'll vote differently in their elections and with their dollars.  We'll officially lose the things we've already given up because we learned not to love the wild places and spaces.  

Or build something.

Adventure can take many, many forms and shapes.  This summer we've been building the cabin/shed/fort/castle in the backyard.  The kids have had an opportunity to learn building skills while working on their math and planning as well.  You can add in a road trip, hike, camp out, new festival, or food...there isn't a strict rubric of "if you didn't get eaten by a grizzly bear, it doesn't count as adventure."  If anything, perhaps the rubric is "would you tell your grandkids about it?"  In other words, the reminder here is that chances of you telling your grandkids about that epic spreadsheet you made in your fluorescent-lit office... are slim to none.  

Or just a 
walk.

As we wrap up this week, we're sitting in a hotel in Santa Fe, NM after attending the Zozobra Festival last night (following a recommendation from last year at the Albuquerque Balloon Festival).  Sure, it's 12 round-trip hours in the car and a few bucks in gas and hotels...but at a certain level...you were going to spend the time anyway, and it can cost what you want it to in large part.  Spending a few hours of great music, reminding you to burn your glooms every so often, and seeing maybe the best pyrotechnic show we've ever seen...priceless...and probably on the tell-grandkids-list.  It doesn't have to be epic...it does have to be routine...and you just have to do it.  Go adventure...out there.  

With you in the arena, from ours to yours...Happy Trails!

Call to Action: 

• Pick out three adventures - big or small - that you and your family can partake in during the next month.  Schedule them and keep the plan.
• 1 - ___________________ 
• 2 - ___________________
• 3 - ___________________
• Discussion: Consider what you/your family could/would/should (level of commitment) and start/stop/sustain (action) in terms of the calendar and budget that you're going to make your adventure lifestyle.  

Further Reading, Motivation, and References:

- Zozobra

1500 Weeks

 1,500 Weeks

Pop into practice...even
when the schedule is a pain.

1,500 weeks - that's about the amount you get when you take 30 years and multiply it by 52 weeks, taking away two weeks each year for vacation or at least time off or away from work.  In America today, your lifespan ranges from about 4,108 to 4,274 weeks, depending on whether you're male or female.  In other words...we're not at work about 65% of our lifetime.  Granted, part of that time we're sleeping.  Some of that time we're babies.  But...a lot of that time is more discretionary than we let on.  If you play your cards right throughout your formative years through your retirement, you can end up having a lot of those weeks "investable" into things that aren't your 9-5 job.

Go see a lunar 
eclipse, even on a 
school/work night.

I've noticed recently when we interact with a lot of kids in the coming-of-age stage, the question is around "what do you want to be when you grow up?"  Similarly, we tailor our high school and certainly our college/vocational time around honing in on those 1,500 weeks.  This isn't to say that you shouldn't spend some due diligence and time both before and during the 1,500 weeks zeroing in on the "what do I want to be" question.  But...how much time do we spend on our kids and ourselves at the more meta answers, "I want to be a good person."  "I want to take care of others."  "I want to travel."  "I want to be financially fit."  "I want to be physically fit enough to walk with grandkids," etc.  

Do now, so
that you can
later.

We often spend an undue amount of time in those junior, high school, early twenties years focused on the major that we think we'll be the key to unlocking all of our wildest dreams along the way.  Getting to the middle of this life journey, I think I'm realizing that there are other perks one should consider when setting out on the 1,500-week journey.  Some jobs, like teaching, give you an incredible amount of time off throughout those 1,500 weeks to focus on passion projects when your mind and body are still young and healthy enough to make it happen.  Others, like military service, may give you lots of travel during and lots of post-retirement benefits.  

Seek/create the balance 
of the ant AND the 
grasshopper now and
later. 

Along the way, we've got to have a diversified investment portfolio for the time beyond the financial aspects (which is critically important as well).  In other words, when (since you're in your 1,500s, I presume) do you set aside time to focus on your health and wellness...so that you can do some of the retirement goals you say you have?  For us, we hope to continue to do hiking and exploration when we're retired.  Unless we spend time on staying at a healthy weight, keeping our hearts in good working order, maintaining strength/flexibility/balance along the way...we won't have the ability when we have the time.  Similarly, if we don't keep up on the hiking in little bursts now...we likely won't have the inclination or ambition to do so later.  

Choose your partners
in crime carefully...
every day.

During your 1,500 weeks, things like pouring into your spouse and children are critical.  The folks over at MidLifeMale.com talk about how presence is a skill...not a personality trait.  I think it's a bit of both.  I've got a peer counterpart who is in a very similar life age/stage/career as myself.  Where he jumps at every travel opportunity with work, I've steered clear of as many as possible since we have had kids.  We were talking the other day, and he's further along in his career...but was lamenting about how he sort of blew it with kids.  I tried to remind him that we get a new day, new choice every day, and blew it can be very past (or present) tense if you let it.  But...he's sort of addicted to the "atta-boys" that have come with his travel commitments...more than he's addicted to his kids and family.  I'm far enough along in my career to take care of our family...and our kids have been to all 50 states.  The answer is a unique blend and balance right for you...but you have to make it happen.  

The mess,
beautiful or
not is up to you, 
choose wisely.

Be thinking about other ways you can invest your time wisely during your 1,500 years.  For many, we get almost intertwined with our work and our work selves such that when it comes time to extricate ourselves, we're hollow shadows of who we once were.  For instance, I've got a passion for writing.  This blog is as much for me as it is for anyone else.  The weekly habit of writing keeps the passion alive in the intervening years.  Perhaps, since I've kept it a spark for all this time, when I have more time to pour into it... it'll be he long dreamed of book.  We've got other friends who have that big goal - hike the Appalachian Trail, visit every MLB ballpark, run a marathon, etc.  Don't let your retirement look like the view from an easy chair at a television...you owe it to yourself to make it big and worthwhile.  

Go do adventure now...
so that you...and they...
can and will go later.

As we wrap up this week, hopefully it's a calling to you that, in the middle of your 1,500-some odd weeks of gainful employment in your life...you're building the now...and the next chapters along the way.  Perhaps more importantly, while you're in the middle of your journey, you're building the now and next chapters for your spouse and children along the way as well.  By giving healthy, well-rounded, holistic inputs to your life and to those around you, you're building a life worth living.  In not just "grind, grind, grind" on the 9-5, basking in the fluorescent glow of the office lights, you're making the time to make this one rare and beautiful life...your very best life...now and next.

With you in the arena, from ours to yours...Happy Trails!

Call to Action: 

• Pick out a couple of things you can do this week that get you and yours closer to the selves that you want to be...after the 1,500 career/work wrap-up.  
• 1 - ___________________ 
• 2 - ___________________
• 3 - ___________________
• Discussion: Consider what you/your family could/would/should (level of commitment) and start/stop/sustain (action) in terms of being prepared not just in the practical terms for a post-work part of life...but where the richness lives...now and later.  

Further Reading, Motivation, and References:

- MidlifeMale.com

Solve the Problem

 Solve The Problem

Bring the right stuff.

We often make our issues overly complicated or excuse away all the reasons something won't work.  One thing with emergency services, and I'm sure other professions, is that paralysis of action has consequences.  Whether or not we're feeling 100%, whether or not all the conditions are right, whether or not the right team is on the field...we've got to show up and solve the problem.  There is little room for excuses when someone's life is on the line.  They called us.  They trust in our institution and, by proxy, trust in us without knowing us individually... to show up and solve the problem.  

Maybe the tech.

Similarly, in life, particularly in our role as parents, we're called to show up and solve the problem.  Whether or not we feel 100% ready to be a parent in this particular season of life...the kid is going to be a toddler, teenager, empty nester...and we have to solve the problem.  This isn't to excuse away the practice, preparedness, and repetition that can help ready us for the problems we'll face.  In fact, in large part, the wide-ranging preparedness is what builds our toolbox of abilities that allow us to show up and solve a multitude of problems.  

Or the pencil.

We can set the pre-conditions, or shape the battlespace, so to speak, so that when problems do show up, they're more on our terms or more right-sized than they otherwise might be.  By identifying possible future problems...not all of them...but the likely ones based on your context, we can hopefully get out in front of solutions.  For example, if poor diet/exercise habits run in your family along with cardiac issues...you can see that problem coming in your future...and you can get in front of it with better diet and exercise habits.  Similarly...if you've got a history of financial trouble...before it gets worse...start spending less than you make.  

Or the team.  

By right-sizing, then solving the problems that pop up...we get in a paradigm of problem solving...we become problem solvers.  We've got folks in our circle that are decidedly not inherent problem solvers.  Anytime a bump pops up, they clam up, put their head in the sand like an ostrich, and freeze.  Like most things in life, problem-solving is a learned skill and can be enhanced through deliberate practice.  Much like Toast Masters for public speaking, we can seek out opportunities for problem-solving and decision-making.  This can be through volunteer service, special projects at work, or among friends and loved ones.  In my experience, much of problem-solving is rooted in decision-making.  Often, folks aren't stuck on the "how" but more on the "oomph" of starting to solve a problem. 

Go to the problem.

When we are working with our families, we can try to see around the corner with the problems that our next selves and our family's next season will likely face.  I've never been a dad of pre-teens, teens, or early adults.  I have tried, as a dad of infants, toddlers, and elementary school kids, to be the kind of dad that will be successful in our next season.  The problems our children will face when they're older likely include things with girls, cars, education, money, etc.  By prepping the answers for those problems before they get there, we're better prepared to team up and solve those problems that will likely pop up.

Size it up.

In the more real-time, now and in the next season of life, part of solving the problem is understanding the problem.  It's easy to solve the wrong problem or solve a problem in a way that creates unintended consequences or worse outcomes.  In other words, when we set out to fix something, try to unpack the context and surrounding information with enough calmness to try to avoid additional trouble.  For example, we've talked about 1% changes where we make tiny tweaks to make our lives better instead of blowing up the whole thing in a baby-out-with-the-bathwater/nuclear option sort of thing.  If we solve the wrong problem, we can end up regretting the solution more than the original problem.  

Dig in.

As we wrap it up for the week, it's a reminder to start practicing problem-solving.  We can work as a family to jointly identify problems, unpack the situation and circumstances surrounding the problem, then brainstorm through the options...and implement solutions.  As we talk through the situations that we, our spouses, and our children face, we get better at solving problems as we go.  One of the best gifts we can give our kids is the gift of independence, where they're able to work through the situations they may end up facing.  Through practice...they'll be ready. 

With you in the arena, from ours to yours...Happy Trails!

Call to Action: 

• Pick out a couple of problems that have been nagging you recently...now work through the possibilities...and solve the problem. 
• 1 - ___________________ 
• 2 - ___________________
• 3 - ___________________
• Discussion: Consider what you/your family could/would/should (level of commitment) and start/stop/sustain (action) in terms of talking through the problems in your (and your family's) life; now start working through them...one by one until you're getting better at the process.

Further Reading, Motivation, and References:

- University of Iowa - 8 Step Problem Solving Process

Beyond the Mirror

 Beyond the Mirror

Sometimes we get stuck in our mirror...the self-reflection in a vacuum at arm's length.  When we're only looking that far in front of us, it's easy to lose context.  It's easy to get ourselves into our own version of a pity party.  Just in the last couple of weeks, we had a person in our circle who got remarried, another hired for a position, and had a friend change houses.  The point here is that, in each of those cases, the person had come to an unbearable, scorched-earth-only position where anything had to be better than their current reality.  The other side of that coin...the part they often didn't see "beyond the mirror" was that in each situation, they had people lining up to be in line to replace the thing they couldn't stand.  

In the marriage case, the person that the other person couldn't stand to be with was back in a relationship fairly quickly.  For friends who couldn't stand the person they'd made vows and life with after ten years in, in many cases people find another someone to share life with.  We can trick ourselves that the world is better just around the bend or that the grass is greener across the street.  As we've talked, it's often more true that the grass is greener where we water and cultivate it.  When we look beyond the victim mentality in our mirror and take ownership of our parts of the solution and systems for success...we stop blaming our troubles on our spouse.  That's probably the first step in moving forward. 

In the position example, we were hiring for two positions, and we had close to 200 fairly qualified people lining up for a job that the outgoing person couldn't stand.  Several of the candidates were very, very overqualified but had left their previous positions because they couldn't stand them.  News flash, chances are, they wouldn't be able to stand ours within a few months either.  The old "be the best ____ that you can be" rings true.  I think the most contented work folks I've been around have been the ones with enough passion and initiative to be competent professionals, but balanced with the "enough" attitude that they're not constantly onto bigger and better.  

Lastly, in the house/car/stuff upgrade categories...leaving behind an "awful" house to you is likely going to be the new dream home to someone else.  We have a family that we've done life beside for the past decade or so.  We both had kids about the same time, bought houses about the same time, and so forth.  In that decade, we've remodeled our home while adding a fort, playhouse, tree house, trampoline, etc in the backyard - mostly through repurposing construction cast-offs from around town.  Over the same decade, they're on their fourth trade-up house.  We were talking the other day about finances, and while they've upgraded their house...they've also drastically upgraded their mortgage along the way, leaving little margin for travel or other fun items.  

Across the board on these "mirror-level" issues where we lose context or miss the forest for the trees, it's often a level of contentedness that is the right answer and connected/shared expectations.  The remarried person is happy (again, for now), but lots of heartache on the way through.  A person who left our organization recently said, "Wow, I made a mistake; I wish I could come back."  The upgrader in houses and cars realized they'd only paid interest to the bank the way amortization is set up...while others have paid off their house and have the peace that comes with it.  The point is, when we're in mirror range, it's easy to lose sight of the big picture.  We have to zoom out sometimes to see just how good we have it.  

As we wrap up this week, before you make some drastic change...zoom out a little bit to get some context and appreciation for where your baseline is at right now.  Take stock of the alternative outcomes and unintended consequences when you view a major decision, not in a silo or vacuum, but when viewed across time, space, and impacts to your broader life situation.  Hopefully, you can use a combination of l% improvements to fine-tune your masterpiece statute instead of bringing the chainsaw or nuclear weapon option out of the arsenal straight away.  

With you in the arena, from ours to yours...Happy Trails!

Call to Action: 

• Pick out one bucket of life this week and come up with three small tweak changes that you'll implement in order to reduce your stress or anxiety...so that you stop thinking about the nuclear option.
• 1 - ___________________ 
• 2 - ___________________
• 3 - ___________________
• Discussion: Consider what you/your family could/would/should (level of commitment) and start/stop/sustain (action) in terms of committing as a family to making small change course corrections to live your best life.  

Further Reading, Motivation, and References:

- Small tweaks are not negative...

Time is Everything

Time is Everything

Time is a vortex.

I recently read a blog article from author Eric O'Neill regarding the fact that "time is everything."  One line caught me..."are you investing or wasting" your time?  That's a question that we can ask on the micro and macro throughout our lives and busy schedules.  It's important that we look at our schedule - daily, weekly, monthly, annually, and in our season of life with an introspection that allows us to get honest about our alignment of values vs practicality.  In other words, this is an audit that looks at our "budget vs actual" of what we say is critical and valuable as compared to what we're actually spending our most valuable resource on.  

Make time for the moments 
in all seasons.

When we look at the micro scale, or our daily/weekly/monthy interactions, it's critical that we get our "to-do list" items done.  Walk the dog.  Feed the kids.  Show up to work.  Pay the bills.  Those things have to happen in order for us to function in our overall system.  That said, those moments and the moments in between have to be utilized wisely and invested strategically.  When we view time as the valuable commodity and store of value that it is, similar to the way we often view money, it begins to take on the gravity it deserves.  Our weekly schedule can easily get eaten up with endless scrolling and autoplay monotony.  Fortunately, all of that is within our control to be efficient.  

Measure.

Similarly, many of the daily living activities now have more efficient options than perhaps any time in history.  Our great-grandparents likely had to plant, steward, and harvest their own food through seasonal toil.  Today, we can sign up economically for grocery delivery from our nearby big-box store...utilizing a fraction of the hours to feed ourselves than our ancestors did.  By examining those small moments that would have otherwise been consumed in yesteryear, we can easily find a start to our more efficient time investments.  Taking that a step further, we can examine our habits, hobbies, and extracurriculars to likely find and free up additional minutes that become hours.  

Practice.

In the great book Atomic Habits, the author talks about how efficiency that can come through wise habits can be powerful.  As you create time in the little moments (e.g., start a load of laundry and fold it while watching a movie), we begin to build a lever we can apply to making meaningful momentum toward our larger time investments.  In what the Money Guys call the "messy middle" part of life, where we're balancing work, raising kids, supporting parents, and everything else, it's easy to let the time slip away...that we can't get back.  We've talked about the pre-req of quality time is quantity time.  In other words, those small "garbage time" moments, as Scott Galloway put it - dinner around the table, driving kids to school, going on a walk - all add up.  

Schedule.

By carving out some efficiency in our schedules, we can invest those saved moments into the moments that matter - read with the kids, play catch, talk with your spouse - build up the proverbial relationship bank through quality...and quantity time.  For many of us, we can likely tweak the equations of life to balance the scales.  Short on cash...cut back or make more.  Short on time...you can't go back and make that up very well.  We were talking the other day and talked about the idea of a barbell-shaped retirement.  In other words, if we hammer it early to build up some investments that can grow, we can then shift gears to spend more time with our kids when they're small.  And, if we need to, sprint again when the kids are up and out to supercharge our way into retirement if needed.  

Prioritize.

This whole thing isn't to say that you should shirk your responsibilities as a provider for your family.  It is to say that you should widen your aperture to more than just measuring that with a paycheck.  In order to provide wholly for our family's needs, we have to build in enough time to be home and be present...not just for the highlight reel.  In order to do so, if we haven't gotten there with the above small systemic changes...the next step is saying "no" to the one-more/too-many-good-things category items.  It'd be great to volunteer for the soup kitchen...it isn't greater than building a bond with your family (but maybe you could win-win by volunteering...with your family).  Anyhow, getting ruthlessly protective and selective within our calendars is critical to ensure our families are our priority.  

Execute.

As we wrap up, this post has been all over the pinball table.  The salient point is that time is everything.  The old cliché "how do you know you're in the good old days before you're out of the good old days" rings true.  It's easy to miss the forest for the trees and live out the Cat's Cradle song where we look back and realize we missed what was really important.  Perhaps this can be a reminder and wake-up call to be present where your feet are at...and work hard to schedule your feet in the right places more often.  

With you in the arena, from ours to yours...Happy Trails!

Call to Action: 

• Pick out a couple of time swaps (one more meeting for one more walk with kids over lunch) that you can make this week...and put them on your schedule.  
• 1 - ___________________ 
• 2 - ___________________
• 3 - ___________________
• Discussion: Consider what you/your family could/would/should (level of commitment) and start/stop/sustain (action) in terms of right-sizing your calendar and schedule this week.

Further Reading, Motivation, and References: 

- Eric O'Neill original article

Ask Not...

Ask Not What...

Go serve.

In 1961, John F. Kennedy said the famous quote, "Ask not what your country can do for you—ask what you can do for your country."  The motto-like quote has not aged well...it seems like more now than ever we're doing the opposite.  We're hanging our futures on a political candidate and asking what they can do for us...often trading our short-term pleasure for what likely will be our long-term pain through deferred spending liabilities.  Anyhow, the point here is more broadly...which side of the quote are you on?  Your family?  What are you asking of your country vs what are you doing for your country?  That's pretty broad and abstract when we zoom out to the national level. 

Help a 
neighbor. 

However, when you zoom in a little bit and ask the same question for your region?  State?  County?  City?  Neighborhood?  Somewhere along the line, from national to local...you likely (hopefully) get to a place where the question equation flips.  It's likely much easier to do something for your community than your nation.  Could you pick up trash along the road?  Could you do a service project?  Can you mow your neighbor's yard?  Scoop their snow?  There is probably a good chance that you can make a meaningful difference when you zoom in a bit.  

Help at the local
musuem.

When you zoom in a little farther, chances are that you can improve your church, local non-profit, school, library, etc.  Chances are you can volunteer to walk the dogs at the animal shelter, read to kids at the library, or help with Sunday School or Awana.  When we become the change we want to see in the world, the world begins to change.  That sounds cliche...but instead of complaining about how something should be that is within our range of influence, it's our responsibility to help influence it.  This isn't to say that you're solely responsible for "the thing" but you can be part of the solution.  You can double down by organizing your circle to also be helpful.  

Serve year
round. 

At work, we've talked about the grass being greener where you water it.  In the same vein, ask what you can do for your work?  How about for your supervisor, subordiantes, colleagues, and customers?  Are there things that you can do to go above and beyond that add value to your relationships with them?  To add another cliche, "people don't remember what you say, they remember how you made them feel."  We're not necessarily talking about doing a special new project...it could be as simple as making someone smile or make someone feel included.  Often times, those are more important markers of success than meeting some quarterly metric.  Keep the metrics in mind...and meet them...but do it while planting some smiles.  

Fix a tire.

And, when we get to the very inner circle, our spouses and children in our homes, it's perhaps most criticial what you can provide back to them.  This isn't transactional, but if you picture the what-you-get vs what-you-give as an account, it's critical that you not only keep the balance, but build up a surplus.  This means that all of the things you get from your family (hopefully) - sanctuary, peace, love, joy, and so forth are beyond belief amazing.  That said, your contributions to those items...and to the other things like dishes, laundry, honey-do-list, and such are critical.  The most important relationships of your life are just that...and should be treated as such.  Don't just say, "I love you," do the things that someone who loves, cherishes, and adores someone would do.  

Coach a team.  

As we wrap up this week, we all have questions that we need to ask...it's critical that we ask what we can do to make things better...for those that matter most...and those that are around us.  It's fine that we take, it's critical that we give.  Give at home.  Give in our communties.  Give in our cirlces that surround us.  When we leave it better than we found it...that means in the short term and the long term...we've got to answer the question more often than not on the positive side.  This leaving it better than we found it means that down the road (hopefully far down the road), you get to hear "well done, good and faithful servant."  

With you in the arena, from ours to yours...Happy Trails!

Call to Action: 

• Pick out a few actions that you can do this week in order to make the world and those around you better.  Take a few steps this week to ask the question...and answer it in a new way...consistently.  Write down three things that you'll do this week...as a family...to do for others.  
• 1 - ___________________ 
• 2 - ___________________
• 3 - ___________________
• Discussion: Consider what you/your family could/would/should (level of commitment) and start/stop/sustain (action)

Further Reading, Motivation, and References:

- Kennedy's Speech

Safety-fied

Safety-fied

Wear a hair net, 
but learn to cook.

There is a scene in the epic Lonesome Dove where the two main protagonists are lamenting their contributions in taming the West.  As they reflect on civilization coming to the wild, they realize or admit that running out all the danger might not have been a great idea in hindsight.  In today's day and age, we've only hammered on the proverbial safety pedal.  When we prioritize safety over all other things, we lose our ability to build our risk management muscles because we've engineered the real danger out of so many things.  In other words, we do things differently when we have a soft landing or "out" available to us.  At some level, it's great, a wonderful thing, that things like childhood mortality have gone down.  Period.  But, in getting through small risks successfully (or adding a few bumps and learning), we build our ability to be able to navigate large risks.  

Go see the old
school.

In our modern world, things like seat belts, helmets, and lifejackets have obviously been good inventions for our children and ourselves.  That said, when was the last time you saw some kid doing an epic bike jump, riding in the back of a pickup truck, or doing some crazy swimming thing?  I'm not advocating that we lose our safety gear.  I am advocating that we leverage it to do the things that give us scars and stories.  Couple this safety-above-all attitude with the pervasiveness of electronics (particularly gaming), and our young people are in for it.  Growing up, any "armor" for kids was quite literally bubble wrap.  Now, you can get some pretty snazzy-looking pads for every part of your body...to enable you to do cool things.   

Practice dangerous
things.

On the flip side, for better or worse, some safety items make us behave differently, more riskily and sometimes beyond our capabilities. In wildland firefighting, several major countries do not have their firefighters carry fireshelters (the "tinfoil" tent that protects you from a burnover incident).  Their rationale is that you'll do less "dumb" things or overly aggressive things if you think you have a magic blanket on your belt to bail you out of the consequences.  Similarly, a pilot with a parachute is enabled to fly differently than one without.  In some contexts, that overly aggressive enabling is a positive thing; in others it reinforces our "exit ramp" attitude as a first course of action conundrum.  

Work on new 
skills.

Translating this a bit back to our homes, the same principles apply where we put things like bankruptcy and divorce in the "plan A" bucket if something doesn't go well.  This excuses our due diligence, preparation, and commitment because "we've got an out."  When we take our "til death do us part" vows, we're saying the words out loud, but are we internalizing and truly committing to the activities necessary to make the promise?  Are we also committing to putting our spouse's needs, wants, and desires above our own?  Are we committed to being all in?  All the time?  Would we do things differently before and during marriage if the alternative to divorce was truly death?  Cut up the contract and shuffle off the mortal coil?  

Shoes may be 
a good idea.

In the family finance category, is our behavior changed when we count the cost?  If we take away the so-called safety nets of bankruptcy, social security, etc, would we behave differently?  Would we still buy the bigger house, fancier car, and nicer stuff along the way?  Or, would we, like the generations before us, put necessity before niceties?  For our grandparents and beyond that, if you made poor financial decisions...you lived with it.  The consequences were natural and severe.  Instead of a swipe now, pay later, they had to save first, which often required much more scrutiny and consideration before parting with their dollars.  

Go see hail...
bring a helmet. 

Overall, the ability for us to have an "easy out" has contributed to our dumber decisions and softer abilities.  The good news is...you don't have to.  We can have our cake and eat it too when it comes to the best of yesteryear with the safety features available today.  Just because you likely won't get scalped, eaten by a bear, or die of dysentery...doesn't mean you can't still go do amazing outdoor adventures.  Just because you have an AC-filled house with endless entertainment online... doesn't mean you can't go lay out under the stars or have a picnic with your loved ones.  Just because you can delegate your travel to a safe airline...doesn't mean you shouldn't pack up the car and go on a road trip.  And, just because you could tell your boss to take this job and shove it...or your spouse...doesn't mean you should.  

Have a safety 
rope when it is
necessary.

As we wrap up, use the back half of the year to leverage safety...without changing behavior.  Wear the seatbelt without jumping the car.  Put on the bike helmet...but still jump the bike.  Take an informed risk on a new business adventure...but save up ahead of time.  All in all, we're in a great time in life to leverage the lessons that aren't so far gone from our ancestors...if we're willing to listen to them and incorporate them.  All in all, use the best parts that are available from yesterday, today, and tomorrow to live the big, beautiful, best life that you've been called to...and wear a helmet when it makes sense.  

With you in the arena, from ours to yours...Happy Trails!

Call to Action: 

• Pick out a few things that you need to change this week that help you reset your safety equipment...ones that make sense (helmets and seatbelts) and others that don't (divorce).  Double down where it matters.  
• 1 - ___________________ 
• 2 - ___________________
• 3 - ___________________
• Discussion: Consider what you/your family could/would/should (level of commitment) and start/stop/sustain (action) in terms of making the right decisions for the safety, sanity, and sanctity of your family.  

Further Reading, Motivation, and References:

- Safety Third with Mike Rowe

Aviate, Navigate, Communicate

Aviate, Navigate, Communicate

It starts with talking.

Aviate, Navigate, Communicate - those are the things to do in an aircraft emergency.  When it all comes right down to it, having clarity of purpose and focus is critical.  Instead of a hundred or a dozen things to try to pay attention to, the little saying helps center the efforts of the pilot and aircrew.  On a normal day, there are so many things that go into making a flight a success.  Just like in life, we've got dozens of things that our families do in order to be successful - go to work, get kids to activities, attend church, you name it.  When your family goes into crisis mode, much like a pilot, you need to focus on the basics to get through it.  

Then with practice.

For the air crew, the basics of "fly the plane" seem silly to say out loud, but there have been cases where the crew gets so distracted with instruments, checklists, etc that they forget the basics of flying the plane.  Sometimes, maybe oftentimes, we overcomplicate our systems that hold our lives together.  Similarly, when you look at the Wright Flyer and today's modern aircraft...they're obviously more complicated.  In preparing for a crisis that may befall our families, it's important to figure out and be ready for the key basics that are necessary or parallel to aviate/navigate/communicate.  In our family, it may look like "stop, think, pray."  

Reinforce it so it's
second nature.

The idea is to be as proactive as possible instead of reactionary.  If you're faced with a medical emergency, financial setback, or violent encounter...there is a moment of response...for sure.  But, getting to a thoughtful response as quickly as possible is critical.  It's easy to be a pinball machine when you're reacting in reaction to a stimulus that's negative.  It's important to slow down enough to get your priorities back in line and start making decisions that "stop the bleed" and then start providing long-term solutions.  That's obviously easier said than done in the moment.  It's easier done as well when we've been thoughtful leading into whatever emergency you're facing.  

Keep it top of mind.

Similarly, pilots are trained to "fly as far into the crash as possible."  In other words, stay in control.  We can borrow these philosophies for our family emergencies that pop up.  Letting go of the proverbial wheel or going radio silent are not good ways to "survive" or thrive in a disaster.  It's easy when faced with a large trauma to turtle up in our shell or stick our head under the ground like an ostrich.  When we talk about "fly as far into the crash as possible," it means that we sit in the driver's seat and take steps to be a proactive and positive participant in our own rescue/recovery.  

Go over it occasionally
in small moments.

From the pilot perspective, instead of just letting go of the "wheel" and hoping it works out, they're trained to "glide" as best as possible by still doing the things flyers do.  In our family life, let's say a medical emergency hits.  You still need to, as best as possible in the new normal, do the things parents and spouses do - get up, get dressed, get kids fed, do laundry, etc.  These small actions keep the proverbial wheels on the bus...in spite of the chaos around ourselves.  This isn't to say that you shouldn't go to the hospital with a loved one since you need to unload the dishwasher.  It is to say that we can double down and make the most or worst of a bad situation.  A downturn can become a catastrophe...if we let it.  

It can be reassuring...
that you've got this, 
even on the worst days.

As we wrap up here this week, remember that calamity and crisis do strike... every day somewhere to someone...hopefully not you and not today.  No pilot comes to work in the morning with the plan to "auger one into the ground," and no family should wake up in the morning with the plan to sink their family ship.  The point here is...with some proactive, intentional thought ahead of time, we can hopefully avoid the worst of the bad days when they do come to visit.  Just like an aircrew who trains on emergency procedures ahead of time, you should have systems in place to help be a safety net - e.g., insurance.  You should also have some go-to actions thought out to quickly and efficiently make the best of the bad day...your family is counting on you to not clam up.  

With you in the arena, from ours to yours...Happy Trails!

Call to Action: 

• Pick out a few things that are core to your family that will allow you to switch from reaction to action in a crisis. Have a few go-to's that you've thought through and communicated with each other.  
• 1 - ___________________ 
• 2 - ___________________
• 3 - ___________________
• Discussion: Consider what you/your family could/would/should (level of commitment) and start/stop/sustain (action) in terms of a bad day action plan.  

Further Reading, Motivation, and References:

- FAA Rules for Pilots