Ctrl + Z

Ctrl+Z

Keep teeth
and friends.

In computer and word processing shorthand parlance, "Ctrl+Z" is the shortcut key pair for "undo" your last action.  Made a typo, hit "Ctrl+Z" to undo that last thing.  It, among other shortcut key combinations, can make our lives at work or on the screen more efficient and effective.  When there's a mistake, we can quickly and easily hit the "undo" button to go back a few spaces cleanly and easily.  In "real life," we don't have that easy button, so it's much more important that we take the time "not to get it wrong" on the big stuff.  

Have a 
system.

Let's pretend for a moment that we do have a proverbial "undo" button in our lives.  When would we reach for it?  Would it be at the indicator or the forecast that something is coming?  Would we pump the brakes before the impact?  Or, would we wait until the crisis?  The recovery?  We talk about getting "left of bang" in the emergency business, where we try to apply mitigations or off-ramps when we begin to sense clues and establish patterns that can help us make informed decisions more often and more consistently.  A quick example might be that when we see a yellow light, we cover the brake pedal instead of gunning it.  No need for Ctrl+Z when we don't put ourselves in a position to require us to be accidentally lucky.  

Being tired often
comes first.

In life, the goal is not to need that Ctrl+Z key combination by getting out in front of the situation.  When we look at the equation of trouble from our car example above, there is the "thing" of running the red light.  There are factors that can aggravate the situation - no seat belt.  But...unless someone else is in or about to be going through the intersection...the "bang" is avoided.  In that example, we might Ctrl+Z any point in that equation...before...during...or after the impact where we get T-boned.  When we put that whole thing in reverse...we can prevent the crisis and the need for Ctrl+Z.  We can wear our seatbelts.  Don't turn around to get whatever the kid needs.  Avoid the screen distraction.  Drive defensively.  These actions, when we habitualize them, help us minimize our need for an "undo" button.  

Markers
might be
too.

When we look at the rest of life, we likely need to reach for that Ctrl+Z combination when we're tired, stressed, etc.  Chances are, at our house and yours, the times we look for, reach for, or wish for the buttons is when we snap at a loved one, co-worker, stranger, etc.  Knowing our precursors to when we wish for the button helps us recognize the environment where we're at our worst within.  Knowing this can help us avoid or at least minimize our troubles.  "I spend money that I regret when I ____" - when you're in the pre-req zone...put in some guardrails or friction that slow you down.  You can apply this same logic across the rest of life - diet, exercise, work, faithfulness, you name it.  Listen to yourself and analyze the "how'd I get here" after you have something you regret.  Over time, those patterns start to act as yield or stop signs to help keep you from a major consequence.  

Hang onto it for
the big stuff.

Likely, the death-of-a-thousand-cuts, whether on the keyboard or in life, isn't what Ctrl+Z is made for.  If you find yourself reaching for it every five minutes...you need an overhaul or a new system.  We should, with practice, get to where we are reaching for it less and less often because we're getting more proficient at doing life without it.  Also, keep in mind that it's designed more for us...not for those around us.  A couple of years ago, we got accidentally lucky with a near-miss tornado...that missed everything.  Ten miles to the south, and we would've been on national news for a major tragedy.  There was nothing in that scenario we could've reached for Ctrl+Z on.  We could, however, take ownership in our part - making sure the right resources are acquired, the right people have the right training, the right folks have the right equipment for early warning, and so forth.  The point here is...use it sparingly...and use it where it would actually count.  You can't hit it on your computer (or life) and expect the results to pop out on someone else's screen.  

Bring a dog to
help you watch
out for Ctrl+Z
moments.

As we wrap it up, let's remember that we got better (or hopefully are getting better) in this space, likely because of practice and life experience.  When it comes to our children, we owe it to them to talk through this space.  What it feels like to regret and how to steer that into avoidance in the future.  Much of this is through trial-and-error, not "thou-shalt" lecturing.  So...to that end, let your kids make mistakes while they're still in the safe and loving environment of your home.  Those big mistakes that we want to avoid with lifelong consequences - dropping out, divorce, drugs, etc...we avoid those by learning how to minimize or avoid some of the skinned-knee level parallels when they're little.  

Take care this week and hopefully you reach for the proverbial Ctrl+Z a little less than last week and even fewer reaches next week.  Good luck!

With you in the arena, from ours to yours...Happy Trails!

Call to Action: 

• Pick out a couple of things that you tend to reach for Ctrl+Z on in your life.  Now pick out three root causes that you can apply action to so that you don't have to reach as often in this space of life.  
• 1 - ___________________ 
• 2 - ___________________
• 3 - ___________________
• Discussion: Consider what you/your family could/would/should (level of commitment) and start/stop/sustain (action) to help reduce the times that you regret and need to apologize by recognizing and avoiding the pre-reqs or environment altogether more often.  

Further Reading, Motivation, and References:

- Left of Bang