Tradewinds

Tradewinds

Study the wind.

Dr. Seuss wrote a book, Oh, the Places You'll Go, and this week it seems like there is a parallel that is worth talking about.  There are times in life when we're sailing with the prevailing winds at our back.  Those times when it seems like in spite of us, everything is just working out in our favor.  Hopefully you've set you and your family up for a lifestyle that is mostly full of this type of "luck."  By adding and investing in margin continuously - calendar, budget, etc.- you can be here more often than not.  The secret of this time is to recognize, appreciate, and celebrate that you're in the "good old days" while you're still in them.  

Study the birds who
use the wind.

Other times we've got a headwind...sometimes it's more than a headwind and matures into an all-out hurricane-style storm.  These are the times when seemingly no matter what we do...we just can't run fast enough.  We can't catch our breath, and it feels like we've got a mountain in front of us that is unending.  It can feel like no matter what you do...you're losing and can't get ahead.  When we're in one of these on-the-ropes seasons, it's important to refocus on the priorities.  Oftentimes in this season, it's a call for a "slow down to go fast" approach where you look to cut things until you have enough margin to see clearly.  In disaster response, we call it a tactical pause where we seek to gain clarity before initiative.  

Practice harnessing 
the wind.

There are times that no matter what we do...big things don't go our way.  Loved ones pass away untimely.  People get sick.  Homes are impacted by disaster.  Jobs are lost.  These tradewinds can feel like they're an all-out gale in your face that knocks you down.  The important part is to take time to grieve and process...but then stand back up.  That can be easier said than done, but it's a critical part.  We've known people in our circle who have had all of those things happen...including us.  Knowing "the rest of the story," as Paul Harvey used to put it...everyone in the circle around those circumstances has figured out how to carry on.  Many are finding happiness and a new normal down the road with a little time in and space removed from the original situation.  In other words, their trade winds changed...in large part...because they figured out how to overcome and adjust the sails.  

Learn about
volatility. 

We've all been in both places, and obviously it feels nicer to be in the first.  That said, some of the struggle times are what make us capable of great things.  The old adage about the mighty oak only grows strong in the storms is true.  In that sense, we're capable of far more strength and resilience than we think we are.  Good news: we can also grow our resilience muscles and capacity through intentionally setting high goals and striving through struggle.  We can even create artificial struggle that helps us build our abilities - sports, learning new things, physical toil, exercise, and many other ways.  We can prepare ourselves to sail more smoothly...ironically...by sailing more roughly on purpose in small things.  

Get good at using
the wind in your favor.

Other times we're in the doldrums where there is no wind in our sails.  This might be that quintessential "mid-life crisis" that is always talked about where we're stuck in the ruts and routines and daily life can be summed up as "sameness."  This isn't all bad if you've got a good set of routines and ruts that provide margin while also filling your soul with contentment.  We've talked about "bedazzle your basic life" before.  We've also talked a lot about injecting novelty when, where, and how it makes sense for your family.  The important part here isn't to get so frustrated with the doldrums that you bring dynamite or gasoline to the party.  Too often we see the "damn the torpedos" approach that results in the consequence-giving new car, house, spouse, etc.  

Enjoy the wind...even
the headwinds.

The old adage, "the only constant is change," is an important thing to keep in mind here.  In wildland fire, we're constantly monitoring wind and weather shifts due to the potential for extreme fire behavior or "blow-ups," as they're sometimes called.  In your life, when you sense a windshift coming- an annual physical and your health numbers are slipping; you and your spouse growing apart; a sudden cold front on the annual performance review at work - double down and pay attention.  Seldom do the catastrophic changes fall on you like an out-of-the-blue piano from a Wile E. Coyote cartoon.  Most of the time they come with some level, albeit sometimes subtle, warning signs.  Our call here is to take notice of those onset indicators...and take action.  Double down on date nights with your spouse, lean in with your kids on their interests, take a family road trip, volunteer for that project at work.  

Teach others.

These tradewinds can be seasonal.  Retirees talk about three distinct bucket stages of "go go years," "slow go years," and "no go years."  There are other times throughout your life where everything goes in your favor and others where you just can't catch a break.  The secret here is largely to "bank up" the good times' momentum and feelings, and draw upon those when things aren't going well.  And, when they're not going well, reflect and remember the good times to give you hope for the good times still ahead.  It's easy to forget the rearview mirror when you're fixated on the windshield and vice versa.  Neither one has to be indicative of what's ahead...that's a daily decision that only you can make.  

Sit back and
enjoy!

As we wrap up, it's important to remember that skilled sailors learn to sail with the wind...no matter what it's doing or not.  It's also important to remember that you've got a hand in the driver's seat, and with modern technology and know-how...you can always apply the EMT's favorite treatment: "aggressive diesel therapy."  In other words, you can get yourself out of a particularly bad tradewind season by applying steering, initiative, and horsepower.  You're not a powerless victim of your own circumstances.  Don't like something...change it.  Also, cherish the good moments where everything is going right, appreciate the good old days...while you're in them, and be ready for those moments or months where it's not all sunshine and rainbows.  Happy sailing to you!

With you in the arena, from ours to yours...Happy Trails!

Call to Action: 

• Pick out a few reflections on wind seasons in your past.  Now pick out three lessons learned that will help you and your family when the next wind shift happens.  
• 1 - ___________________ 
• 2 - ___________________
• 3 - ___________________
• Discussion: Consider what you/your family could/would/should (level of commitment) and start/stop/sustain (action) in terms of "weather monitoring" in your personal life.  How about with your spouse?  Kids?  Family at large?

Further Reading, Motivation, and References:

- Fresh Starts